


Almost is never enough

by jjmvge



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Comfort, Dom Min Yoongi | Suga, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Kinda, Light Angst, Love, Love Confessions, Min Yoongi | Suga Is Whipped, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Pining!, Producer!Reader, Resolved Sexual Tension, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, Spanking, fluff!, for like two seconds, he's so fucking whipped for reader, if that makes sense, it's 2nd POV but it's told like it's Yoongi's POV, like holy shit, no seriously, probably, there really isn't as much angst as i planned at first, what did i say again?, yoongi is not so bad at feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2020-03-29 10:19:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 43,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19017931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjmvge/pseuds/jjmvge
Summary: He liked these moments. Just the two of you, together for hours. You seemed to let go and not worry about how you looked and Yoongi let his imagination sketch scenes of the two of you living together, moving about in a shared space. It was just comfortable. You made him feel so comfortable, yet longing brewed in the pit of his heart. He wanted all of you.Almost is never enough, he guesses.orYoongi is so fucking in love with you, would read a book of Seokjin's puns that pain him so, would fight any demon and become a gladiator to have you happy and by his side. Surprise! You have a boyfriend, and Yoongi does not approve.It's kind of telling when you're closer (emotionally and physically) with Yoongi than him, isn't it?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I'm user mxxnlee and I do not obey the laws of English Literature!
> 
> please excuse typos and grammar mistakes, and if the plot seems choppy. I think it was better in my head (?)
> 
> <3

Yoongi knows he shouldn't think about you as much as he does.

As he watches your supposed boyfriend linger in the doorway, as if you were some child to be supervised, he really wishes he could just stride over to you and do something crazy, like kiss you; your lips or your cheek--any intimate action just to piss your lover off. He wants so badly for your boyfriend to do something horrible so that his hatred for the man is justified. But alas, he remains so... so...

Normal.

And how does _Min Yoongi_ compete with normal?

He finds it odd for you to be with someone like this guy. You, passionate, a writer, a passionate writer, someone simple yet so complex. Kinda like Yoongi himself. How does someone like you, amazing at anything, from just breathing to calming Yoongi after a sudden panic attack, fall for someone so goddamn normal.

Yoongi sighs. Maybe normal is just... perfect. Yoongi isn't perfect, and perfect is what you _deserve_.

"Hey," Your soft voice interrupts his somewhat gloomy pondering. Yoongi looks up, raises his brows in question, but apparently you're talking to the tall, broad man in the doorway. He averts his eyes and swears he tries not to listen to your conversation. Eh, so, he lied.

"You should go home, I've got a lot of work here tonight," You whisper and Yoongi's heart jumps at the idea of getting to hang out with you into the late hours of the night/morning. It'd been too long since you pulled an all-nighter together and Yoongi would take what he could get. If he was being honest with himself, he really missed pulling the couch out into the bed and falling asleep next to you, before you got a boyfriend and things got complicated. He wondered (hoped) that he got jealous.

"Um... are you sleeping here?" Hm... maybe the man _was_ jealous. Yoongi didn't feel guilty for grinning to himself, but he thinks he probably should.

Yoongi isn't facing you, yet he can feel you hesitate. "I don't really know..." Your voice gets quieter and Yoongi really has to work to hear it. "Just depends on how much I get done. Go home and sleep, you have classes tomorrow."

Yoongi rolled his eyes to himself when he heard a soft peck shared between you two. He kept his back turned and listened as your boyfriend shuffled out, closing the studio door with a 'beep' to signal the lock. Distantly, he could hear you sigh to yourself before rolling your chair back over to the desk that sat against the wall next to his own, a 90 degree angle.

Yoongi's gaze lingers on your side profile, watching you zone in on the track you were currently working on, the mouse already clicking away. He wants to kiss you.

But, of course, he can't do that. Sure, there's the whole we've-been-friends-for-over-2-years-and-it-would-ruin-our-relationship thing, but now you're actually taken for the first time since Yoongi realized his feelings. And it fucking _sucks_.

Before, he was fine with just ignoring the twisting of jealousy in his gut whenever you'd be with a guy. It was easy to deny that he had serious feelings for you. Now that he's admitted it to himself, he wishes he could just turn back time and keep denying it because he _hates_ that he can't lean over right now and wrap his arms around you.

Shit, he used to do that. You two were never physically shy (though, you're the only person Yoongi is cuddly and physical with, but he probably wouldn't admit that out loud) and Yoongi had no problem with putting his hands on your waist or his face in your neck. If you had a problem with it, well, you never said anything. But then the boyfriend came along, and it was obvious that the touches from before were more than friendly. They couldn't continue while you were dating someone.

But... that still gave Yoongi odd hope...

Doesn't that mean you saw and recognized that the way the two of you are together is much _more_ than just buddies getting along?

You started to turn in your chair to face him so he quickly looked away, pretending to be focused on his notebook in front of him.

"Can you take a break with me?" Your voice was casual, nothing out of the ordinary, but it never failed to soothe Yoongi. How could he ever say no to you? (not that he even wants to)

He simply nods, flopping his notebook closed and turning in his chair to follow you to the other side of the room. You looked cute, really cute, he thought. He liked these moments. Just the two of you, together for hours. You seemed to let go and not worry about how you looked and Yoongi let his imagination sketch scenes of the two of you living together, moving about in a shared space together. It was just comfortable. You made him feel so comfortable, yet longing brewed in the pit of his heart. He wanted _all_ of you.

Almost is never enough, he guesses.

Yoongi watches you plop down on the sofa, surprising him when you motion him to the spot next to you. He shrugged it off, ever unbothered Yoongi, of course.

When he sat net to you, his muscles thanking him for cushion after being in that damn chair for so long, you let your head fall onto his shoulder. His eyes widened a bit because _...what changed?_

Sure, the two of you never had an actual conversion of, "Hey, so, I'm in a relationship now. Yeah, we can't touch each other 24/7 like we usually do." but it was just an unspoken understanding. Honestly, most of your interactions were just unspoken understandings. It was one of the things Yoongi loved most about being around you.

But he isn't complaining. Not when he can feel your body heat against him and your heart thumping against his arm. No, he could never complain about this, about you.

"Caye asked me to move in with him," You mumbled, voice so low that Yoongi almost missed what you said. He wished he had.

But, you sounded so... sad (?) about it...

"Oh," Is all Yoongi could manage. How was he supposed to respond? You haven't even been dating this guy for _six months_!

"Yeah..." The miserable edge to your voice did not go unnoticed by Yoongi. It was barely there, something you tried to play off as casual. Deciding to risk it, he lifted his arm and wrapped it around your shoulders. If he didn't reach out to you, he knew he would recoil instead, because that's what he wanted to do. The last thing he wants is to hear about your speeding progress with Caye, but he would rather be there for you, even if it meant this.

"That's good, right?" He manages to say. "Seems like he really likes you."

 _Of course he really likes you, it's_ you, Yoongi thinks.

You let a tiny sigh of distress out and burrow farther into Yoongi, letting your arm rest over his torso. Yoongi doesn't want to stop you, doesn't want to look too close in fear of scaring it away. He just enjoys it and pulls you into him more.

You mumble something again, but this time Yoongi doesn't catch it, feels you shift against him to get more comfortable.

"Hm?" He hums, turning his head to you as much as he can in this position.

"Miss you," You murmur instead of answering his question about your boyfriend, and if Yoongi leaned forward now, he's sure he would see you blushing. There's nothing to stop the way Yoongi smiles, happy to hear that. You may be able to read him from so much as a blink of his eye, but sometimes he has a hard time figuring you out.

"...I miss you too." And he does. He _really_ does. He knows what you mean; the two of you spend so much time together in the same studio it's crazy, though even before you got a boyfriend, it was usually silent. But he misses _this_ , curling up together and not feeling like strangers. For a moment, Yoongi could honestly forget that you aren't his.

"What's bothering you?" Yoongi asks, because he knows it's something, he can feel it in the air. He leans his head onto yours with his cheek pressed into your hair.

"I just..." You begin, searching for your words before continuing with a sigh, "I'm not sure. I should be happy. I haven't exactly had a lot of success with relationships lately and here's this guy, _clearly_ very invested into this and I--" You start to ramble, hands gesturing against Yoongi's side. "It's too fast, isn't it?" You don't give him time to reply, simply continuing. "I just-- I don't know--"

Yoongi's hand comes to squeeze your thigh like an instinct, stopping your word vomit. "Hey, calm down," He says softly. He had no idea you were so conflicted. He curses himself internally for not seeing it.

You sigh, hand falling back against his hoodie. "Sorry... I've just been stressing over it. He's been pushing me for an answer and the longer he waits, the less happy he is. We've already fought about it once."

Who the hell does he think he is? How could he pressure someone like you into something like that? Yoongi knows it's not his right to get angry, and you don't even seem angry, but he can't help it. He's mad at himself, too. The distance between the two of you sure, it stemmed from you getting into a relationship, but it was also because Yoongi hated that and he kind of wanted to spite you for something that wasn't your fault. He didn't want you to hold his heart in your hands because every time you gave your boyfriend that lovely smile of yours, your grip tightened that much more. It got painful.

But not as painful as knowing that he hasn't been there for you while said boyfriend is putting you through this shit.

"...I'm sorry." He says. You snort.

"S'not your fault."

"It is," He insists. You lift your head up at that, a frown overtaking your features. Holy fuck, you're so close to him.

"What are you talking about?" You ask and Yoongi can actually feel your breath hit his face, can make out the patterns in your pretty eyes, dim lights be damned. Yoongi's heart thumps against his chest and he swallows thickly while he desperately tries to remember what the fuck _you_ were talking about.

When it comes to him, he tries to calm his voice, but it somehow still comes out a bit shaky. "I've been an ass to you, lately, avoiding you and stuff. I didn't even know this was going on because I haven't been talking to you."

He watches your features soften, something flashing in your eyes before you say, "Yoongi, shut up."

You huff and lay your head back down and Yoongi laughs at that. _There she is_ , he thinks.

"It's not your fault. I'm tougher than that. But you better stop avoiding me, whatever the reason," You say, voice a little fragile with sleepiness.

Yoongi's heart hurts a little bit at that. He wants to, god he wants to, but he doesn't know if he can watch your love blossom with another person from the sidelines. And yet, he can't picture himself ever functioning without you either.

He shrugs it off for now, putting his feelings on hold, and focuses on being wrapped up with you until both of you have slid into the best sleep either of you have gotten in a while. He'd enjoy what he could because he's sure he'd never be happier than he is in this moment.

 

* * *

 

  
After a long, dry meeting, Yoongi was pleasantly surprised to see you walk to him out of the corner of his eye. You asked him if he wanted to get some snacks at the convenience store before heading over to the Genius Lab. He had nothing planned for the rest of the day and you were looking especially lovely with the hopeful look in your eyes; there was no chance that he would say no.

And so you stepped out of the car, albeit before him, he was soon being taken by the hand and pulled to the freezers. You took one of the ice cream tubs from the rack and gave Yoongi a small smile, to which he could only smile back as he watched you in adoration, the two of you joined at the hands as you led him to the best sections (you knew exactly what he liked and this convenience store was always just that: convenient. You knew every corner) and his mind ran off again. He built scenes in his head of dates that would go something like this, some random and quirky location somehow being just perfect for the pair of you because as cheesy as it is, all you really needed was each other.

You'd been by each other's side for so long now. The tours and performances and new albums, locations, collaborations, sponsors--it was hard to settle in. But not with you. No, you were a constant. Even when he needed a break from the other members, he would seek you out. Different cities with different languages, but always with you. Always _loving_ you.

"What are you in the mood for?" You reluctantly let go of his hand to reach for something, but Yoongi was focused of your side profile.

"You." He blurted it without thinking, watching you turn to him and freeze, your eyes flashing with... curiosity?

Before you could take in the emotions in his own eyes, he offered you a lopsided grin and played it off as teasing you, as he always does. "What? Don't act like you _don't_ want a piece of this. I am _the_ Suga, after all."

A small smile formed on your lips and your eyes now held a stern, playful look as you chimed, "Hm, tell that to my middle finger."

Yoongi huffed out a laugh as he grabbed a bag of chips that he liked before following you to the register.

By the time the two of you had made it to Yoongi's studio, it was a little after four and a gloomy rain came from the dark clouds above. Yoongi liked this weather. Something warm swelled in his chest, contrasting to the chilly air, as he watched you punch in his code to his studio and the soft patter of rain outside filled his ears. You were the only one who knew the code now, since he changed it after Jungkook had discovered it.

It was nothing against the boy, but Jungkook had made a surprise visit once and Yoongi nearly got caught in the middle of a... _recreational activity_. The only thing worse than that was Yoongi thinking it was you, and he was so far into that mindset that he almost considered pulling, what he _thought_ was you, inside and admitting that it was your name he was just panting. Thank _god_ Jungkook had the courtesy to chirp out a "Hyung! I hope you don't mind!" as he entered. Jungkook understood _too_ well when Yoongi had told him that he needed the privacy, the youngests' cheeks turning pink and Yoongi briefly wondered if he didn't escape getting caught like he _thought_ he did.

Yoongi still, even after the little scare, couldn't bring himself to keep the new code a secret. He had to admit to himself that you stopping by his studio would always be welcomed, even if he worried about his own intentions sometimes.

You made for the sleek table by the desk that you had helped Yoongi pick out. Sure, his studio had minor decor before, but it was overall just messy and so out of uniform that it started to bother him. He may or may not have used it as an excuse to spend time with you since at that time, you were working on a project that didn't involve him. Either way, every time he looked at the things you helped him pick out or set up, he was reminded of the times that you two had curled up on the couch with his laptop or your chin on his shoulder, breath grazing his cheek as you pointed to his computer screen filled with furniture in interest.

Yoongi tore his gaze from the little table, realizing that he completely just zoned out and you were already sitting idly at your desk as you worked to open a bag of food. He made his way over to the snacks, still in their plastic bag from the store. He fished around until he found the ones he picked out. Before he could turn to you, a buzzing pricked at his ears. His brows furrowed and he spotted your phone, laying next to the bag, lit up and vibrating. Upon a closer look, he read your boyfriend's name and his lips unintentionally quirked up into a scowl.

Still, he picked up your phone and held the screen up to you. You turned to look at it, stilled for a moment, then took it and declined it. You set it on the desk, just like that.

That's... weird?

Once again, Yoongi really doesn't want to look too close. You're not talking to that asshole and instead, are here with him for who knows how long, offering him your smiles and your company, and that should be enough. That _is_ enough.

Yoongi still can't help but wonder why you're ignoring your boyfriend.

Yoongi still feels guilty pride swell in his chest.

He realizes that it seems as though his emotions are all at odds with each other, too.

"You know," He says, "you can take that if you need to."

You looked up at him from where you sat, a teasing grin on your lips. "Ah, I think it's only fair for me to give my _full_ attention to my company, don't you?"

The blazing ball of pride mentioned before only got bigger.

 

* * *

  
Yoongi knew that you were no force to be reckoned with when you were angry. The two of you sometimes got frustrated at each other, what with being in the same, relatively small, space and working so hard for so long that tension stiffened your limbs and creativity. It was bound to happen once every blue moon. But never had you been truly angry, not at him.

The very first time he'd seen you so mad that he was sure the ground would shake beneath your feet, it was when several of the... "higher ups" (aka informal staff who did not have proper IDs or titles with the company, simply contacts with the CEO of BigHit. They had permission to sit in for a couple weeks before they traveled with a group of idols of their own to scout for sponsors just after the debut) had been getting Jimin, Seokjin, and Yoongi alone and instructing them to put _horrific_ diets in to place.

You were no stranger to the ridiculous eating restrictions an idol had to endure. But this was no normal diet.

It damaged their metabolism and it had been directed without any proper permission. Those guys thought they were suddenly running the show, and after your observations of Yoongi paling even _more_ , Seokjin's face seeming to always droop, you knew something was up.

Only after you had sat with Jimin as he threw up in the dance hall's bathrooms, crying and holding his stomach as he spewed some bullshit about being fat, had you lost your shit. When you finally found the cause of their distress, the gates of hell suddenly opened for the two who orchestrated this, as if it were their decision to make. You were livid, and you gave them more than an earful. When you couldn't get a meeting in with the busy CEO, however understanding he may have been, there were suddenly articles of the _booboo the fool and his dumbass sidekick_ everywhere the BigHit staff looked, talking of their intolerable conditions that they placed idols and trainees smack in the middle of.

Yoongi was thankful, more than you know. This industry--it chews you up and sometimes it'll spit you right out, left off worse than you started. It was rare to find someone who would put _their_ ass on the line to make sure they were healthy and happy (or at least not miserable). Even after you raised hell for the trio, you helped them to their feet again.

You very subtly added more noodles to Yoongi's plate in the middle of his picking at his food, something he might of missed if he wasn't Yoongi. You threw compliments out to Jimin about his cute cheeks and everything that made him feel insecure about himself. You suggested that since he was a damn good cook, Seokjin should do something for the fans with it. Thus, Eat Jin was born.

You never complained when Yoongi felt everything just a bit too much, felt too heavy, the world too big. You just talked him through it, whether the conversation was composed or he was ugly crying into your shirt, shoulders shaking with effort to choke out his troubles. You soothed him.

You were there when he fell apart, you were the one who put him back together.

And, god, he could never thank you or repay you enough for the way you kept him moving and motivated. You occasionally broke down in front of him as well, but it wasn't common. No, not at all. Not enough for him to say that you and him were even. Though he hated seeing you stressed and defeated and your tears that mirrored your hardships, he liked that he could be there for you like you were for him, even if the score could never be close.

Still, he knew that you would part the ground in which you stand on to protect, comfort, cherish him. He'd seen the actual fire in your eyes that day as you cursed and pointed your finger at those older men. At the time, he just thought you were a really good person, better and braver than he ever could be. But he's grown to learn of your care for him and the other members. That, and to hell with the world if you were going to let some bullshit like that pass.

That being said, he was sure the evening would not be swift. He sensed your mild annoyance, tension, the second you had come into the break room. Vocal lessons were held in the other side of the building from the studios, dorms, and offices. That's where you usually were, being direct staff to the area and all. So he'd been surprised to see you here, where the dance, vocal practices are held, as well as the occasional class.

You didn't seem happy.

Everyone gave you a small greeting, the lot of them feeling rather exhausted from the long day of practicing the same things over and over. None of them, spare Yoongi of course, seemed to notice your sour mood. Why would they? It's not like you really wear your emotions on your face if you're keeping to yourself, which you usually do. Yoongi just knows. The way you keep your head tilted down as you get some cold water from the fridge, the way you seem to have a stiffness in your movements. But the source of it, he's clueless of.

He calls you over softly, to not draw attention or test the waters of your annoyance he doesn't know. You look up and make your way over to him with your mug in hand and your eyes unfocused. You seemed to be somewhere else.

Once you got in reach, Yoongi stretched out his arms from where he sat, a silent offer to come and sit on his lap and let him hug you. Despite whatever stress you were under, Yoongi can still spot a soft smile crawl onto your face as you absolutely melt into his touch. You seemed tired, more than usual.

"Something going on?" Yoongi wasn't particularly tall, so his head didn't quite reach above your shoulder, but he was fine with laying it against your arm. You sighed heavily, slightly shaking your head.

"Just stupid shit," You bluntly said. "I could use a nap date."

Yoongi's ears prick at that. "That sounds like a great idea," he hums.

Suddenly, your phone dings and you don't even check it before sighing out, "I gotta head back. Sejin is consulting me for the concert in Seoul on Friday," You roll your eyes and Yoongi smiles. Sejin has always been fond of you and never hesitates to pull you in on projects that sometimes don't really have anything to do with you. Yoongi knows, however, that you enjoy it, despite the sighs and glares you throw out at the mention. And you're damn good at anything you're trusted with.

He subconsciously frowns when you pull your body off of his, but the empty feeling is replaced with butterflies when you give him a warm smile and squeeze his hand just before you slip past the doors and head down the hall.

Your anger seemed sated for now, he thought.

 

* * *

 

Had Yoongi known why you seemed so sour, he might have held himself back. It was never his intention to get annoyed, either. But when you came to his studio later that night, clearly annoyed and shutting doors, unzipping bags, and typing on keys with more force than necessary, he knew something was up. Usually, if you had a bad day, you'd just be stressed and tired. No, you were in a bad mood.

"Is something up?" He manages to brave the dark cloud around you.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it," You said shortly.

Yoongi sighed. It was something, you just didn't want to talk about it. He knows all too well. "___, seriously, talk to me. Is it Sejin?"

"I don't want to talk about it right now, not with you," You snapped, eyes solemn and barely focused on the screen before you. Yoongi's brows furrowed and lips parted in offense.

You talked to him about everything. It must have to do with him, right? "It's me?"

You turned to face him now, tone clearly frustrated. "Please just drop it for tonight. I need to get something done for the time sheets that are literally due in _two_ days and I'm not in the mood."

"Not in the mood? To tell me why you're pissed at me? How the hell are you gonna be aggravated with me but still come to work in _my_ studio? 'Cus you can just walk all over me, huh?" He huffed in disbelief and shook his head. He didn't mean to get so annoyed so fast, but it was hard with the way you were shutting him out, and he had no clue as to why you'd be upset with him.

He knew why you were in his studio, of course. You had told him before with averted eyes that you worked best in here, alongside him, and he would've been lying if he said it didn't help him a lot too.

"Fucks sake, I'll just leave," You grumbled to yourself as you turned away to pick up your things, partially trying to hide the wetness gathering in your eyes. "I'll just go home, get out of your hair, stop _walking all over you._ Okay?"

You didn't turn to face him, instead stayed focused on shoving your laptop into your bag because the tears stinging in your eyes were too embarrassing.

Yoongi's heart suddenly clenched, his chest feeling like it was going to cave in. Fuck, he didn't mean that. If you asked for the moon, it'd make him genuinely happy to lasso it down for you because it wasn't like those moments were common. And he wants to be there for you, it's not a damn burden or anything.

You were already zipping up your bag (record speed) when he croaked out, "Wait, don't leave, I'm sorry."

You didn't stop moving, but slowed down, as if in deep thought. Yoongi took that as another oppurtunity to speak. "I just want to know what I did. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it about me. Will you just come here and talk to me?"

His voice, now calm, did wonders for the gates of your eyes, because then the tears were falling without restriction, a single sob escaping. It was so quiet that you're not sure if Yoongi heard it, but you know he did when you felt his arms wrapping around you from behind. You turned around, making him lose his grip, before wrapping your hands around his waist and crying into his shoulder.

He held your shaking figure wordlessly and ran his hand over the back of your hair to soothe you. It should be embarrassing, to cry like this, but he's felt you ugly cry to him too many times for there to be any shame. You've seen him break down to you too many times to be self-conscious about it, too.

Once you finally calmed down some, he loosened his grip a bit to pull you over to his couch, catching sight of your red eyes and blotchy skin. No matter how many times you had come to him for comfort, and he you, it didn't make it any easier on is heart. His head felt like it was going to melt into his body at the idea that it's because of him.

You lazily crawled next to him, hands still locked with his, and he sighed when your arm found it's usual place around his waist. His hand began running through your hair absentmindedly, watching your wet lashes flutter closed at the feeling.

A long silence stretched out before you murmured, "I'm sorry."

Yoongi didn't say anything, just hummed, because he had a feeling that something else was playing a bigger part in your emotional day.

You eventually continued, "Caye and I keep fighting. Now he's upset because he thinks I spend too much time with you. He wants me to use the staff studio." You sighed heavily before adding, "It's not your fault. It's just stressful, and I think if I say no, it'll be the last straw with us."

Yoongi's breath hitched and he really hoped you didn't hear it.

So, this asshole was making you choose now? Yoongi really hated him. Hated the way he treated you and the way he thought he could demand things from you and always get submission.

More importantly, would you say yes?

"Are you going to say yes?" He tried to say coolly, but he knows that you feel him tensing against you.

You frowned, he could barely see it but it was there, and said, "Say yes? To stop spending time with you? Are you kidding? He doesn't get to make me choose like that. He may be my boyfriend, but you've been a billion times better to me today _alone_ than he ever has."

Yoongi could see the pink creeping onto your cheeks from your confession, felt something warm swarm in his chest before scattering out into his body. He couldn't find himself capable with any words other than "I love you" so he responded with a smile and a kiss to the top of your head.

 

* * *

 

  
Yoongi watched your figure swiftly weave through the makeup artists, crew members, and managers with a clipboard in hand and your eyes searching for him. Sure, he could've just called out to you from the other side of the room, but he would much rather watch your curious gaze dart from corner to corner and your steps uncalculated.

When you finally spotted him, he just smiled mischievously and you shook your head.

His shirt had several threads peeking out from the sleeve and if it wasn't fixed, it would probably completely unravel on stage. And so there you came, with a needle, thread, and scissors in your hand.

You sighed lightly as you placed the things on the makeup table beside you, gesturing to Yoongi's shirt. "Okay, take your shirt off."

Yoongi raised his brows teasingly, "Wow, even in public? You know, if you wanted to undress me, all you had to do is ask."

You gave a ghost of a polite smile, getting the needle and thread ready. "Yoongi, don't make me embarrass you in front of all these people."

He grinned, but shrugged off his shirt nevertheless. He wasn't brave enough to let your sewing skills take place on his arm.

 

* * *

  
_It really was an accident._

_He knew that you had no ulterior motives._

His heart beat so hard in his chest that he was sure you could hear it.

The concert went a million times better than Yoongi had expected. He had more fun than he had in a while and rather than being exhausted when he came off stage, he was still feeling the post-concert thrill and he couldn't stop himself from running up to you and sweeping you into a massive hug. You giggled in surprise, your only choice being to hold him just as tightly.

"You did amazing!" You piped, enthusiastic from the obvious (good) difference in his performance. You pulled back to kiss him on the cheek, but it was uncoordinated and he turned to look at you and accidentally, a brief peck landed onto his lips.

It was an accident, and you were immediately pulling away and apologizing with a giggle in your throat, hand over your mouth, eyes wide. Jungkook had caught your attention then, asking you something about joining them for dinner tonight, but Yoongi was still frozen. Idly, his tongue poked out to swipe over his lips, over the spot that your lips had touched his. He actually sighed in bliss when he could taste whatever had been on your lips, something sweet.

It took Yoongi _so_ fucking much self-control not to take you right then and there.

 

* * *

 

When Yoongi woke up, it was in the dorms, on the couch, with your head on his stomach and your hands folded underneath your chest, trapped snugly between the two of you. He smiled a bit, glancing at his watch, but making no move to get up and meet Hoseok at his studio. He'd understand if Yoongi was just 20 minutes late, right?

Unfortunately, his plans (watching your shoulders rise and fall in time with the breathing in your sleep and mapping your closed eye lids like it was the first time) were ruined when you began to stir. You rolled onto your side a bit, hands coming out from underneath you to hang limp off Yoongi's side.

Even in the goofy and somewhat childish position, you were still the most beautiful person he'd ever seen.

Slowly, as if you could sense his stare and his consciousness, your eyes opened and were already staring back at his when they did. His breath caught in his throat, cheeks a lovely shade of pink but he couldn't bring himself to look away. Something twinkled in your eyes, maybe a shift in the air or a change in your breathing, but Yoongi briefly thought you were going to ask him to kiss you. He could just see it, feel it, but he wasn't sure. He hoped, god, he hoped.

But alas, you cleared your throat and Yoongi finally tore his gaze from your eyes to notice the adorable flush on your cheeks, much more noticeable than his own. "D-Don't you have to help Hoseok with, um... whatever it was?"

Yoongi laughed lightly at your stammering figure nearly on top of him, earning a sheepish smile from you. "Yeah, I probably should at least head his way. See you at the benefit?"

A flash of realization that _oh yeah, that's going on tonight_ , crossed your features before you nodded and reluctantly pulled yourself off of him and the couch, fighting back a wince from the loss of warmth.

As Yoongi gathered his things, made his way to the other side of the building, joined his fellow member in his studio and began working, his mind kept drifting off to that moment. Looking back, it felt like it stretched on for _hours_. The stare was held for at least 20 seconds, but the indication that you wanted Yoongi to kiss you was so brief that he questioned if it was even there.

People _do_ say that if you stare at someone for longer than six seconds, you are either going to fall in love with them or murder them.

Yoongi hoped it was the latter.

  

* * *

 

  
It wasn't Yoongi's fault, he _swears_.

Everything was too romantic, too private, too intimate for Yoongi to pretend like he wasn't painfully in love with you.

It was after a late-night appearance on a TV show, when the moon was already raising in the sky and the air was cool. Yoongi was very tired, but couldn't sleep. As if you could sense his distress from the other side of the building, you had texted him and asked him how everything went. You wanted to watch from backstage, but you had to meet with some managers that represented another entertainment company last minute to solve some problem they had with trainees.

He had texted immediately, telling you it went fine and asking if you were still in the building.

Your message came in a few minutes later: _Ah, I wasn't actually expecting you to respond. You should be asleep, grandpa. Meet me on the dorm lobby balcony?_

And that's how Yoongi ended up in this situation.

You sat on his lap in a very old and slightly dirty armchair and rested your arm around his shoulder. He eventually let his head fall onto your collarbones because his neck was too tired but he still craved to watch the moon and hold you in his arms. He sighed in bliss.

No words were exchanged for a long, long time, before you said, "You've got all day off tomorrow."

It was soft, a reminder to help ease his stress.  It crossed his mind that the way you knew him was borderline scary; the way you could translate a flicker of his eyes, the pattern in his breathing. He's never had someone care or understand him enough to not demand words from him like you do. You made life easier, made breathing easier for him. You knew the ins and outs, could tear him down with a flick of your wrist if you wanted to.

But you never did.

Instead, you used your understanding of his ways to lift him so high, remind him that he hasn't come so for for nothing and that the future is what he makes it. It was a little terrifying to think about how he's become so addicted to you that he just might die from withdrawal if you left his side.

Yoongi gave a late hum as a response, mind traveling atop the grey clouds in the night. The moon was so bright that it outlined any exposed skin. You were practically gleaming.

Yoongi tried desperately to fight off his sleep, watching the glow on your face and the smell of fresh, cool air surrounding him. But alas, he could feel himself sinking into a puddle of unconsciousness with the image of you at the front of his mind.

 

_If he was being honest, Yoongi didn't really know if this was a dream or not._

He stumbled behind you and laughed airily at himself, his head light but his body heavy. You were in front of him, leading him by the hand through the dorm hallways until the two of you got to the front door. You paused to fish out your spare key but Yoongi wrapped his arms around you from behind, lips landing on your neck.

Maybe he was high? Or drunk? He felt odd. It seemed like his memory was corrupted because nothing was reminding him that he was pining over a taken woman. _No,_ you were his girlfriend, in his arms and not the least bit fazed that his lips were dancing on your skin.

That's what his _mind_ registered, anyway.

He heard a quiet but sharp gasp from you when his tongue peeked out to press into your neck and his hands gripped your sides under your shirt. He slowly turned you around, in a trance, and kissed you.

It was soft but passionate, his hands exploring any piece of your body they could reach. Almost immediately, you pressed back, cupping his face and brushing his bangs out of his eyes. He smiled so hard, he couldn't help it.

Surprising him, your tongue dipped behind his bottom lip quickly, coaxing a hoarse moan from him that you swallowed down.

Just as things started to really pick up, you pulled away from his lips with a soft smack, breathless and dazed, and turned around to quickly open the door for him. You pulled (pushed) him inside and shut the door quickly, leaving him to stare at the hard surface as the reality of the situation encompassed him.

That was _not_ a dream.

 

* * *

 

 

The morning came with silence. Normally, Yoongi would listen to some of the other members getting ready and shuffling around before he rolled out of bed. But they were off today, and everyone was still sleeping as much as they could. Yoongi, however, was not.

His mind was running, running, running until it ran over itself about what the hell he was going to say the next time he saw you. Or if he could say anything, really. Also, he still wasn't 100% sure that was real. It was confusing and his mind was so foggy with sleep that he couldn't be positive. But as soon as you closed the door behind him, he realized, _'Oh. Well, fuck.'_

What was he going to say? "No, that was an accident, I don't find you attractive whatsoever, like you're gross. me? have feelings? for _you_? Nah, not me."

He couldn't lie to you. He's been in love with you for so long now, he doesn't know if he could push this opportunity of confessing these burdensome feelings away. If you ask, he might just cave. But why wouldn't you ask? He had basically devoured you like your toes were in the water and he was a goddamn piranha! And even--

Wait a minute, you... kissed _back_...?

Yoongi visibly shook his head to himself. Why did he have to go and make things so fucking complicated?

 

* * *

 

 

Most of Yoongi's day was spent in his room, lounging and watching TV, not answering his phone and opting to stay in the confines of the dorms as to not run into you.

Those plans, however, were ruined when he felt his stomach rumble. He'd already eaten once today but it was a bit past dinnertime and his stomach was aching for something fierce. He sighed to himself. You probably weren't around the halls anyways, either set to work in the studio or at Sejin's office at this time of the evening.

So Yoongi stretched his limbs, wincing at the faint cracking and pulling. But it felt good. His body deserved to be motionless for a while because for someone thought to be so lazy, he sure did work a lot.

That's what he's sure you'd say, anyway.

Yoongi continued to leave his phone untouched because he knew you had probably tried to get a hold of him for something. His mind felt just a bit clearer when he stepped into the hallway, the air a little lighter and more fresh. He took his sweet time, honestly.

When he heard your voice around the corner, in the break room, he froze. Truly, he didn't mean to eavesdrop, but he suddenly found the topic quite interesting.

"Seriously, ___, stay here for a few days. There's always the empty dorm rooms, over there by Media Production." A voice Yoongi couldn't quite recognize spoke.

Then, your voice, "I don't know. I just don't want to put anyone out. I know how expensive it is to open them."

What the hell were you talking about? Staying here?

"Please, you aren't putting anyone out. Everyone thought he seemed way out of line, and dangerous, too. The last thing any of us want is you getting hurt. We've got your back, and I wouldn't be surprised if Sejin himself offered a room in his house for you to stay in," The unknown voice joked. Were they talking about Yoongi?

No, that doesn't make sense. So, _what_?

"Yeah, me neither. Don't worry about the dorms, though, I'll probably just sneak into Yoongi's studio and sleep there," You giggled, followed by a long pause. "Thanks, by the way. I'm sorry that he caused such a scene. I'm gonna head downstairs and see if Jin-ah wants this. Let me know if you see Yoongi, yeah?"

For whatever the reason, Yoongi did not register that _hey, that means she is coming your way, better move if you have any hopes of avoiding her!_

And so you rounded the corner, nearly running straight into Yoongi with a surprised expression on your face. You smiled, giving him a questioning look. "How long have you been standing here?"

Yoongi tilted his head down a bit. "Sorry, I didn't mean to listen to your conversation."

You snorted, "Uh-huh, some accident. Oh, where have you been all day? I mean I figured you were resting those rusty bones of yours but I--"

"Who were you guys talking about? Did something happen?" Yoongi didn't mean to come off demanding, but you were being too normal and Yoongi just knew that something was up. You tended to make yourself appear completely unaffected if something was bothering you, like a habit, but Yoongi saw right though it like you saw through his bullshit. You didn't seem surprised when he interrupted you, either. You sighed, liked you had been expecting it.

"We'll talk later. I wanna run this down to Jin," You held up a small container with a pastry, where the hell it came from Yoongi doesn't have a clue, and continued, "And then I'm going to your studio, so meet me there if you so choose," You smiled cheekily and brushed past him in the direction of the elevator.

As Yoongi waited for you in his studio, he wondered why you weren't being weird with him.

Had last night truly been a dream?

Before he could answer his own thought, his studio door beeped and you were shuffling in with a bag on your shoulders, bigger and bulkier than the light one you usually take around, your necessity bag, if you will. You offered him a small smile before dropping the bag onto his couch.

"Uh, you good?" You quirked an eyebrow at him when he just kept staring at you wordlessly, trying to figure out if the heated exchange last night was real or not.

Should he ask?

"Did something happen last night, at the dorms?" Well, I guess the answer is yes because he's already tilting his head at you. Your eyes averted, pink creeping up your cheeks.

"Ah, well," You laughed nervously, "Yeah, I'm surprised you even remembered that."

His brows furrowed and before he could stop himself, he said, "Why wouldn't I?"

Your gaze snapped back to his. A smile stretched on your lips, more comfortable that the shaky one from earlier, "You were exhausted. I just figured you'd forget about it and crash."

Yoongi gave an "Oh," that was followed by silence, up until you cleared your throat.

"Look, about that, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make it weird, I know you were barely awake and probably weren't completely aware of what you were--"

"I was," He says, far more calm than how he was feeling inside. Honestly! He has _no_ idea where that came from! He watched you freeze for a moment, eyes wide.

"You, uh," You stammered, looking unsure and conflicted, but Yoongi watched your lips twitch up and resist the grin threatening to take over your pretty lips. Hope sparked in his chest.

Your eyes met his again. Softly, you said, "I love you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: leaves the story on a cliffhanger  
> me: don't worry guys the next chapter is literally gonna be out tomorrow
> 
> me, walking back from the target bathroom after re wiping my ass: haha yo whats good it's been fuckin years
> 
> im so sorry djslkalfa first i just lost motivation and then i was trying to write but my goddamn laptop BROKE so i had to rewrite the entire chapter. either way, hope you guys enjoy it. i take a long time to write smut but it still isnt good lmao oops

You _what_?

 

No, Yoongi must have misheard.

 

All he could do was sit there, his eyes wide and lips parted a bit, heart threatening to climb up his throat and explode in his head.

 

"W-What?"

 

Are you fucking kidding me?! Great one, Yoongi, hit her with the stuttering " _what_?". Perfect, not like you should say, oh I don't know, that _you love her too_?! Like, _so_ much?!

 

Your cheeks flushed a deep shade of red as you held your own hand nervously, but there was a sort of determined glint in your eye, albeit a bit defeated.

 

Yoongi doesn't know what he expected from admitting that he wanted to kiss you the way he did last night, but it wasn't you telling him that you love him!

 

"I'm sorry. Uh--" You giggled nervously at yourself, "I just-- well, there--" You stammered, eyes focused on anything and everything but Yoongi. He would have found (did find) it devastatingly adorable, your stuttering figure and your unsure words, if he wasn't still trying to comprehend the situation.

 

How could you just fucking throw that out there?! You really... you actually love him? You _said_ that?

 

You took a deep breath, no doubt to steady yourself after Yoongi's response, or lack their of. Then, it all came spilling out. "Yoongi, honestly, I just... I'm in love with you. I know this is sudden, really I--" You laugh breathlessly at yourself before continuing, "I didn't even plan on telling you this, especially not now. I know you're probably a little freaked out right now, but the most important thing to me is that I don't lose you. The _last_ thing I want is to push you away with this," You frowned, voice pleading a bit. "But I think I should tell you. It's... unhealthy, to keep this to myself. I tried to pretend like I didn't feel this way with you and tried to project it onto Caye, but, well... I don't love him. I love _you_..."

 

Yoongi felt like you were going to say more, but you visibly swallowed the words down.

 

And, suddenly, he gets it.

 

He gets it, because the determination in your tone, nervousness in your eyes, it was all what he imagined himself to look like if he confessed his feelings for you like he had considered so many times.

 

Honestly, he feels like a fucking idiot.

 

All this time, he could have had you, because you were just as whipped as he was.

 

Well, okay, he doesn't think you could be as whipped as he is for you, but you get it. He still can't believe that you're confessing this to him. He always pictured himself confessing to you, so much that this wasn't even something he considered. He was just too much of a coward to put his heart out there, so you went and got a boyfriend, yet you were still chasing after him--

  


He doesn't know where he got the courage, but suddenly he's striding over to you, cupping your face in his hands, and kissing you.

  


This time, he's not delirious with sleep. No, his intentions are loud and clear and he doesn't know how he missed just how amazing it is to kiss you. Truly, Yoongi has never been one for cliches, but now he thinks he actually understands what it's like to feel fireworks go off from a kiss.

  


It crosses Yoongi's mind that this isn’t the first time he's kissed you, technically it's the third, but he's so much more aware and this just feels like the first time and he doesn't want it to end--!

  


Yoongi keeps claiming he isn't some cheesy romance novel but he sure is fitting that shoe when it comes to you.

  


Your response to his sudden touch is almost immediate, much like last night, and it amazes Yoongi that you're so ready for him to touch you. But, seriously, if you asked _anyone_ , they'd tell you that Yoongi couldn't and didn't keep his hands off you. It was just something he craved subconsciously, like breathing or blinking. Innocent things like laying his head on you or resting his hand on your body whenever next to you, even holding hands while walking, all slowly became pulling you into his lap, intertwining his fingers where his hands join around your waist, frequent back hugs.

 

So, this should be no different, but it is. Because he knows that it means something.

 

His heart stutters because _holy shit, you love him?!_

 

Much to Yoongi's surprise, a cluster of giggles bubble out of your throat and into his mouth. He pulls away from you with confusion written on his face, and you only laugh that much more. He watches, unknowingly smiling along with you.

  


"Sorry, _shit_ \--" You bite your lip, clearly trying to hide your amusement. For fucks sake, Yoongi was just kissing you like his life depended on it and you're _laughing_? "It... I mean, I know it's just you, but it's like... I don't know... I'm just happy," You finally conclude, voice sounding rather small from your confession.

 

Goddammit, Yoongi is fucked. He loves you so much.

 

Yoongi smiles and dips his head to kiss your neck, his hands smoothing over your lower back. The world spins just a little faster when he hears you moan softly, quietly, as his lips dance around and figure out the spots that you're most sensitive. He pushes your top to the side to suck a mark into your pretty skin possessively, insides stirring when you gasp lightly at the pinch.

  


Yoongi pulls away from your neck to admire the mark through half-lidded eyes, the spot already a dark red. His gaze flicks up to yours. Fuck, you look amazing, cheeks flushed by their own accord, pupils blown the fuck out and your figure clinging to him as you pant softly. Yoongi's already almost fully hard-- shit.

  


"I--" He breathes out, "Is this okay? I get if it's too much, I just--" Instead of finishing, he just presses his waist into yours, letting you feel his erection through his pants. Your breath hitches, he hears it.

  


"I want this," You blurt, starting to feel lost with all of the sensations that are facing you with nothing but pure pleasure. You want more.

  


Yoongi bites his lip, one of his hands dipping past the hem of your pants. "Yeah?" You nod slowly, eyes fluttering closed as you focus on the way he's touching you, as if you were the biggest treasure known to man.

  


Gently, Yoongi guides you to the other side of the room. He pulls you over his lap to straddle him on the couch and drags his lips over your ear, feeding off your heavy breathing. Subconsciously, your hips begin to grind down onto his lap, slowly and uncalculated.

  


"So impatient," He croaks with a grin, voice noticeably deeper than normal. His hands come to grip your waist tightly as he watches you, on top of him and already so fucked out. "needy," He emphasizes, but it's not demeaning. You'd imagine getting told you were needy would be an insult of sorts, or that you'd feel ashamed, but the tone of Yoongi's voice makes you feel like it's the best way to be. His long fingers curl around the bottom of your shirt and begin peeling it off, whispering as he does, "Let's take this off, hm?"

  


You comply, lifting your arms and allowing him to undress you. You arms don't even get to lower before his hands are skimming across your newly exposed skin. He's impatient, but you're even more, rutting against him like a teenager.

  


So quiet you almost don't hear it, Yoongi swears under his breath and whispers against the skin of your chest, "I finally get to have you? Be _inside_ you?"

  


Suddenly, Yoongi feels a wave of emotion wash over him. How long has he been wanting this again? Does he even know? His sexual attraction for you came before the emotional attachment, before he started to fall in love with you. And you're here, in his arms. Not because he's some last resort, not to make you forget another, not to chase a relief that _anyone_ could provide for you. No, you're here for him and only him.

  


Yoongi isn't stupid, and neither are you. Both of you are well aware that there could be serious consequences regarding both of your careers, yours more than his. But, neither of you can bring yourselves to even consider it. It feels too good-- too right to stop and let anything push you apart for a second longer.

  


"You're so beautiful," He rasps as your bra falls to the floor somewhere. You smile shyly. You feel beautiful. He's looking at you like it's all he'd rather do until the end of time, touching your skin as if it was made of precious gems; how could you not feel pretty now?

  


"Yoongi, please," You're not sure what you're begging for, just more. Horny and impatient, you tug at his shirt.

  


Yoongi pulls back, showing a massive grin on his face, and pulls his shirt over his head, discarding it without focus.

  


Then, greatly surprising you, Yoongi hooks his arms around your legs and stands, lifting you up with him, before turning around and laying you down softly. It's not that Yoongi was weak. Honestly, a lot of people misjudged his shape. Sure, he was a little short and lanky, pale, was assumed to be lazy. But truthfully, he wasn't anymore out of shape than Taehyung or Namjoon, or most of the other members really. He just didn't _show_ displays of strength like that, is all.

  


There's not much time for you stare at his bare torso in awe before he's crawling back over you and hooking his fingers into your pants. He looks up at you for permission. "May I?"

  


You smile fondly and nod, raising your hips to help him slide them off, and immediately Yoongi's lips are on your thighs. He kisses up closer to your panties, smiling a bit against your skin when he can hear your unsteady breaths.

  


"Gorgeous," He praises softly when he leans back, observing your nearly-naked body, your chest rising and falling quickly, eyes starting to droop from blind want, lips kiss bitten and shimmering in the dim light of his studio. You smile like an idiot, heart pounding at his worship of you.

  


"All laid out for me," He continues, fingers ghosting over the thin fabric of your underwear.

  


"Yoongi," You pant, almost whine, encouraging him to help you find some relief. You're also slightly annoyed that you've only got underwear on and he's yet to take off his pants.

  


"What is it that you need so badly, hm?" He hums before leaving wet kisses on your bare stomach.

  


"I just," You pant, unfocused. "anything."

  


Yoongi pulls back from your body at that, now leaning back and resting all of his weight on his knees. "You're so hot like this," he breathes, shaking his head in disbelief, leaving you shy. What was so insatiable about you? You'd barely even done anything. _He_ was the insatiable one!

  


You chanted that in your mind for a bit, his words whirring in your head, until he spoke up again.

  


"So needy," He repeats. He's already got his mouth hovering over your panties when you come back down to Earth. "Why is that, hm?" He slowly, so slowly peels them away and keeps his eyes locked with yours. You want to look away, because it's so intimate and it gets you flustered, but for whatever reason you're in a trance, staring back at him like it's the only place you could look in this moment. “Gets me so hard. Seems like you want me so badly," He rambles idly.

  


You gape for a moment, before saying, "I do want you!" And it comes out like a whine, a defensive protest and Yoongi can't help but laugh at your strong reaction. His semi-silent laugh calms whatever nerves you had before because _come on, it's Yoongi. He loves you, you're safe._

  


But wait... _does_ he love you? He never actually admitted it. You confessed your feelings and now you're here, shockingly naked and at the mercy of his body and dirty words and you don't even really know if he loves you too.

  


You guess you were wearing your emotions on your face because now Yoongi is crawling back up your body and cupping your cheek. "Something wrong, babe?"

  


Your heart flutters at the name without your permission. "I uh," You start, swallowing thickly. "I know this is stupid to ask, especially _now_ , but you never actually told me how you feel..." You trail off, embarrassed by your sentiment. A look of realization crosses Yoongi's face.

  


"Baby, _this_ is me telling you how I feel," He gestures between the two of you. You smile gently, but his response also stirs fear that rises in your throat. _Why is he avoiding the question?_ "...Don't look like that."

  


"Like what?" You frown.

  


"Panicked. Or like you're overthinking," He tilts his head gently, settling himself more comfortably between your legs.

  


"Maybe I am panicked."

  


"Are you?"

  


You pause for a moment. "Why are you avoiding my question?"

  


Yoongi scoffs, "Asks the person who just avoided mine. And what question? You made a _statement_. I heard no question."

  


You roll your eyes and blurt, "Do you love me?"

  


It may have been said evenly and calmly, but Yoongi can see the vulnerability behind it. He feels it in the air. He presses a long, sweet kiss to your lips that catches you off guard before murmuring, "I love you, so fucking much."

  


He knows his hands are shaking, heart is pounding so hard you can feel it, blush is on his pale cheeks, but he also knows you need to hear it. He knows you deserve to know how much you actually mean to him and that you need that validation just as much as he does.

  


Now it's your turn to kiss him, an attempt to hide your grin, but Yoongi can still feel it against his lips.

  


What even is this? This reaction? You feel like your eyes should be bulging out of your head, you shouldn't be able to comprehend it. Yoongi felt more shock than you are but yet it still feels like it isn't enough. Everything just feels so goddamn familiar and you briefly realize that maybe you didn't need to admit your feelings. Perhaps somewhere deep down, both of you just understood. Maybe it was built into you over time that the two of you were for each other, seeing as you behaved like a literal couple. You knew every piece of each other. Maybe it was just inevitable. Love is odd like that.

  


But neither of you were willing to focus on the ifs and maybes. Right now, lips locked and skin against skin, confirmation of feelings settling in your chest, all you can do is enjoy it and pull each other closer.

  


Yoongi hums against your mouth as he feels your hands smooth down his shoulders, chest, stomach. They linger just above the band of his jeans, feather-light touches starting to drive him mad. Somehow sensing his impatience, you finally take the zipper between your fingers and undo it before pulling the button free. You can feel his thighs tense against yours when you sneak your hand into his boxers.

  


"Fuck," He curses when you gently ghost your fingers over his erection. " _Careful_ ," He warns into your mouth, teeth digging into your bottom lip to tell you to stop teasing him. Trying to focus around Yoongi's tongue invading your mouth, you finally wrap your hand around him and tug a few times, making him jut his hips and moan sweetly.

  


You never saw yourself as someone who drooled over cock, honestly the thought was just taboo and unlike you. But you hadn't even seen Yoongi's and somehow, the weight of it in your hand had your thighs tightening on either sides of Yoongi's own leg.

  


Yoongi finally broke from your lips with a wet sound to pull your hand out of his boxers and shed his jeans, unable to stop himself from palming over his painfully hard crotch. When he starts to settle himself again, you subconsciously spread your legs for him-- a natural reaction when he's climbing towards them because you could never feel unsafe or embarrassed around Yoongi--and it has him giving a particularly hard tug to his cock through his boxers.

  


The only thing that gets Yoongi to pry his hand off his erection is the sight of you, sprawled out, cheeks flushed and legs spread as you wait for him to crawl between them. He does, shimmies up your body and presses an intense kiss to your mouth, greedily shoving his tongue past your lips. Not that you mind, because you're already meeting the muscle with your own.

  


Yoongi feels something in the air shift and somehow he knows you're going to urge him on, that you're getting impatient, so he takes it upon himself to slide his fingers over your entrance. It's a filthy mewl that comes out of him when he feels how wet you are. "Shit, you're so wet, babe. S'this all for me?" You moan and nod. He doesn't even think you realize it when your hips roll onto his fingers, silently begging him to give you relief.

  


Maybe he has pity on you, or maybe he's just as horny and impatient, but now he's slyly slipping his middle finger into your entrance, curling it without warning. It seems to have the desired effect, making you arch your wack wantonly and gasp hotly. "Jesus sweetheart, you look amazing. Can't even stop squirming for two seconds, huh?"

  


He was right, you couldn't hold yourself back, caught between chasing the feeling and running from it, even more when Yoongi slipped in another finger. But it's okay, because you don't have to think. Yoongi has you, he'll hold you in place, take responsibility for your pleasure. Gladly.

  


Yoongi digs his teeth into the lobe or your ear, grinning devilishly when you outright mewl. "Answer me, baby."

  


Yoongi has stopped the movement in your heat, his free hand pressing your hips down as he waits for you to give him what he wants. And you're so desperate, it's all so hot and teasingly good; you're nodding and breathless before you know it. "Yes, yes, I-It's all for you, can't stop squirming."

  


He licks a filthy stripe up your neck in reward, pumping his fingers into you with more enthusiasm. And oh, it's so embarrassing, but you feel the buildup between your legs, the lightness in your limbs.

  


"O-Oh fuck," You whine, "Please, don't stop, 'm gonna cum, _oh_ \--"

  


"Already?" Yoongi teases you and you whine in shame, but it's clearly doing something for you because now you're panting and shifting. "Can't help yourself?" Yoongi dares to lift his thumb and apply pressure to your clit, and it's really just about game over. You barely register him pulling himself off your neck and moving about, instead just dismissing it because you're so close, just _this_ close--

  


A wet, soft sensation blooms between your legs, pure pleasure, and when you whip your gaze back down, there's Yoongi. Fingers working you open, arm holding you down, tongue lapping at you and it absolutely slings you over the edge. Your hands fly down to pull at his hair, arching your back, rolling your hips and moaning Yoongi's name filthily. Distantly, you can hear Yoongi cursing under his breath, but there’s no room to focus on it when he’s just given you the best orgasm of your life with his fingers, his tongue, still lingering.

  


He doesn't stop once you've cum, instead taking a few moments to help you ride out the feeling, the bliss of it all, and it makes the climax feel like an eternity until you're really shying away and gently moaning at the sensitivity. He complies and climbs back over you, delivering you a very sweet kiss that you can't help but smile for.

  


Yoongi parts from your mouth to glide his lips over your shoulder. "All those jokes about my tongue technology are biting you in the ass now, huh?"

  


You giggle, goosebumps raising on your skin when you feel him smile against the skin of your arm. Such a long time ago, it feels like. Before they made their big break, you could say. Yoongi had made the joke initially about having serious tongue technology, but you had teased him and accused him of being full of it, all in good fun of course.

  


"Ah, I remember those days. You were even scrawnier back then--!" Yoongi gives a warning nip to your collar bone, cutting you off. Then he raises up, listening to your chuckle and brushing his nose against yours. "Yah! You'd set me up with your loser friends back then, too!"

  


Yoongi's jaw dropped and he cried, " _They_ asked _me_ about you! And besides, I can't help if my friends were losers. I was kinda one myself."

  


"Yeah, you were," You shrug in agreement, earning a sharp look from Yoongi that makes you giggle before continuing, " _but_ that you was doing his best. And that guy changed a lot. But he's still there, I know it. I love him just as much as I love all the other parts of you. Still my Yoongi."

  


Yoongi suddenly wonders how long you had harbored feelings for him. It was hard to tell these things. The two of you were already so close, sometimes it seemed like the line that separated friends and lovers was blurred for you both. And he knows it should feel overwhelming, everything that’s happened since you walked through the door of his studio, but he’s too happy, too immersed in the thought of you to distract himself from the blissful feeling that comes with having you naked in his arms.

 

And you're giving him the most genuine, bright smile, the glint in your eyes match it, your fingers reaching up to card through his hair sweetly, and Yoongi thinks he might cry. He really, really does. It seems you sense that you've struck a chord, too, because then you're cupping his face with a genuinely worried expression.

  


"Oh god, don't start crying. You're literally almost naked on top of me and you're so _pretty_ when you cry-- I don't want to get turned on from that!"

  


And then Yoongi is laughing, deep from his chest and he has to curl over your shoulder with the weakness it brings. He feels the vibrations of your voice when you say, "Don't laugh at me! I'm serious..."

  


Yoongi swallows down his laughter somehow and pulls back to look you in the eyes again. There's some embarrassment in there, but mostly just amusement and fondness. He leans down slowly to share a romantic kiss, slower than all of the ones before, truly blissful.

  


Yoongi raises an arm to brush your hair our of your face and cup your cheek, his other arm holding himself up. That's when you feel that he's shockingly still at least half-hard. "Damn--" You manage against his lips, "You're still hard?"

  


Yoongi laughs softly and hums, "Can't help it. You're stunning."

  


Your heart flutters for a moment, leaving you at a loss of words. But Yoongi doesn't even leave much room for you to say anything because suddenly he's saying, "Don't worry about me, though. Just wanted to make you feel good."

  


You smile and lift your knee to nudge the half chub between his legs that gets his breath to hitch. "Sure you don't wanna fuck me?" You tease.

  


Yoongi groans softly and breaks the kiss to look at you, a grin slowly growing on his lips. "Sure you can handle it?" He grinds his hips into you, making you tense for a moment.

  


You narrow your eyes and bite your lip, leaning dangerously close to his lips, before murmuring, "Can _you_?"

  


It's so low and teasing, dancing the line of a challenge and a pure invite, and it's what makes Yoongi scoff breathlessly before tugging at his cock a few times, which has gotten fully hard just because you're _you_ and everything you do drives him crazy.

  


Soon he's crawling off of you to grab a condom, impatiently fumbling through his things. You watch him pull out his phone, your brow furrowing in confusion, and pop off the case. Out falls the foil package. "...You--" You begin, cut off by Yoongi.

  


"Yes, I keep a condom in my phone case," He nods, smiling a bit sheepishly as he strides back over to you.

  


"Fair enough," You say, voice trailing off as you watch him roll the condom onto his erection. Fuck, he looks so good.

  


Yoongi is suddenly rather impatient, sliding his hands up and down your legs in quick motions, kissing you with raw need, intentions clear as day. Pressing his knees into the couch, he adjusts and gets closer to you, his skin tingling in every place that your bareness grazes his.

 

His heart beats maniacally against his chest as he takes the sight of you in, already so fucked out but still squirming for him. “So fucking beautiful,” He rasps. You smile, dazed and pampered by all the praise he gives you so easily.

 

Yoongi pulls his hips against you, happily swallowing down the moan you let out before repeating the action, his dick grinding across your pelvic bone. It’s so dirty and desperate but he can’t help himself, listening to your shallow breaths and feeling your hips raise slightly in search of more friction.

 

“Fuck—Yoongi,” You whine, obviously urging him to finally be inside of you.

 

He smiles slyly. “You want me to fuck you?” He knows the answer. He wants to hear you say it out loud.

 

You nod breathlessly, caught between being annoyed at his teasing and being pushed farther into desperation. Yoongi’s fingers grip your hips, stopping your movement, and he leans back.

 

“Mm, beg for me a little,” He looks down at you, underneath him and panting.

 

He looks so domineering now, towering over your figure and holding you in place, demanding that you beg for him to fuck you. It’s a sharp contrast from his usual demeanor, one quiet and calm, but Yoongi always held a sense of authority and straightforwardness, so it isn’t a _big_ shock that he commands the control in bed.

 

Yoongi seems to be getting off on your plain desire for him, the way you react to his touch is absolutely driving him mad. And if he wants you to beg and boost his ego, feed his desires, you’re more than willing because he’s sure as hell done it for you.

 

“Please, Yoongi,” You begin, cutting yourself off with a small whine when Yoongi presses the head of his cock to your entrance. He waits for you to continue instead of pushing in. “--w-want you so bad, want you to fuck me--!” At this point, you really mean it, he’s drug everything out and made you desperate, more than anyone has before and you think you might cry if you don’t get some relief.

 

To Yoongi’s credit, he’s had so much patience, especially considering that all he’s wanted is to fucking ruin you since the first moment you kissed, but he’s starting to run out. He finally pushes in, slowly, and he feels himself twitch as he watches you arch your back, mouth falling open.

 

“Oh fuck,” He breathes, then a murmur of your name, bottoming out. “You feel so good, _shit_.”

 

On your end, it seems more like he’s giving you a moment to adjust. But really, he’s trying not to cum in two seconds flat like a teenager getting his dick wet for the first time. He tries to get a hold of himself. It wasn’t his fault! This is something he’d imagined, fantasized about for years, before he even caught feelings for you.

 

A roll of your hips startles Yoongi, his gaze snapping down to the spot where you’re connected then up to your face. Your bottom lip is held by your teeth and there’s a challenging glint in your eyes, the lift of your hips urging him to move.

 

He does, rocks his middle into you slowly. He let’s out a shaky exhale at the pleasure it brings. “ _God_ , do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted this?” He’s speaking without filter, unable to focus and process the vulnerability of his words.

 

His confession pulls a rather loud moan from you, and soon you’re back at it again, pushing yourself against him because of his teasing pace.

 

Yoongi chuckles, breathless. “Not enough for you?” You hum and shake your head with a smile.

 

Then suddenly he’s snapping forward, sheathing himself into you like it’s his job, his grip tightening on the flesh of your waist. It causes you to cry out, one hand flying forward to wrap around his forearm. “Yoongi--!” You moan out his name, mostly in gratitude. When you pull your gaze up, you meet his gaze.

 

His eyes are dark, maybe because of the way they’re shaded by his bangs, which are wet at the tips with sweat and dangling low. His brows are slightly furrowed and his lips are parted to let out tiny breaths as he fucks you into paradise. He’s quite the sight to behold and it has you exhaling shakily the moment you see it.

 

“Mm, shit, so good,” He mumbles, barely heard over your moans and the slap of your skin every time he slams himself into you.

 

“ _Fuck_ ,” You gasp when he pulls your thighs up, causing a change in position. He’s found your sweet g-spot. “Right there, please, _oh_ \-- m’gonna cum again.”

 

Yoongi has a shit-eating grin when he says, “Damn, so soon?”

 

He’s right. You’ve never come so fast before, not by his fingers and not now, when he’s just started fucking you right after a mind-blowing orgasm. You feel ashamed but are still so turned on and you don’t know if the mix is good or bad. “M’sorry, can’t—can’t,” You ramble, eyes squeezing shut as you try to hold off your orgasm.

 

You had thought Yoongi would slow down at hearing you admit that you’re so close, but instead, he just speeds up, churning his cock inside you every thrust. It has your chest heaving, eyes involuntarily filling with tears.

 

“Aw, sweetheart, so horny you just can’t help it?” His patronizing attitude is only making it worse, your insides jumping with desire as he spews filth right into your ear. He even dares to flick his tongue over the shell of it before murmuring, “Come on, babe. Cum for me, I won’t stop until you do.”

 

And just a few thrusts later, you’re finally tumbling over the edge. Your clit was even completely untouched. Yoongi watches your mouth fall open in a silent scream, your thighs clench around his body. You get so fucking tight, gripping him so hard he’s forced to slow down.

 

He curses under his breath. “So tight— _fuck_.”

 

He stays thrusting shallowly as you come down from your insane high, his own not to far around the corner. You moan with soft breaths and meet his gaze, pulling him down for a hot kiss.

 

“Aren’t you going to cum for me?” You ask lowly, and he grunts against your mouth. He pushes himself into your heat faster, meeting the pace from before.

 

He’s not holding his release off anymore and now it’s so close, his thrusts are sloppy and doing just enough to pull his orgasm out of him. “Oh— _yes_ , yes, close,” He rambles, getting lost in the feeling. His eyes close and you moan in response, waiting for him to give it to you.

 

“Please, Yoongi,” You croak, voice hoarse from exhaustion. “want you to cum.”

 

Yoongi’s eyes pry open, dragging them up your body and to your eyes. “Yeah? Fuck, _yeah_.”

 

You tug a bit hard on the roots of his hair before kissing him again, teeth digging into his bottom lip. His dick twitches, his hips stutter several times, hands grip your sides so hard you’re sure they’ll feel sore later. “Shit, shit shit, m’cumming, so hard--!” He spews filthy nonsense and finally comes undone, the pure force of his orgasm leaving him to stiff to keep thrusting through it, so he stays buried deep and fills the condom to the brim.

 

“Mmm,” He sighs blissfully. “Yeah.”

 

When he finally pulls out, he’s fully sated and so are you. He tosses the condom but he’s too lazy to dress or clean either of you up, not like he has anything to clean with, so he just pads back to the couch. You are, much to his amusement, still in the exact same position, eyes closed and slightly wet lips fallen open. He smiles to himself before leaning over you.

 

He presses a soft but sloppy kiss to your cheek before mumbling, “Stand up for just a minute babe. I’ll pull out the couch.”

 

But you aren’t so sure. You inch your eyes open, a dazed and goofy smile on your face. “Yoongi, that’s cute, but if you think I can stand right now, you’re wrong.”

 

Yoongi snorts at that, peering down at you, who has not moved a muscle by the way, and he loves you so much. He thinks those words all the time. He just feels the mass affection he harbors in his heart for you and thinks, _‘fuck, I love her so much.’_

 

Yoongi hums. “Well, how about,” He begins, wiggling his hands under you and hoisting you up bridal style. That wakes you up a bit, hands flying around his neck to steady yourself and making a short sound of surprise. “--we do this.”

 

With you still being impressively held up, Yoongi takes his foot and digs it into the back of the couch, then uses it to pull and unfold it. Once he gets it halfway, it just stretches out on it’s own. Yoongi lays you down on it, kissing your forehead, before grabbing a blanket from across the room.

 

It’s just a small TV blanket, but the two of you never minded before, and definitely don’t mind now, naked and basking in the afterglow of the best fucking orgasms of your lives. Yoongi had loved you for a long time, and you him, but neither of you had expected to have such incredible sex.

 

Yoongi settled himself against you, under the small blanket, physically feeling your body heat on him when you wiggle yourself closer to him. You dip your head to rest on his shoulder and he almost misses the little smile on your lips.

 

He’s almost slipped into sleep when he hears you whisper a soft, _“Love you.”_

 

He tries his best to say it back, and it comes out a slur before he’s sunk into the most peaceful sleep he’s ever had, a smile on his face and your breath grazing his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't to forget to drop some kudos if you like it so far or smth... xx


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a kinda short chapter i guess (3.5k words?)
> 
> i really hope everyone is enjoying it so far, i've been pushing my motivation more lately so yeah, yeehaw

Yoongi knows he’s had good sleep when he wakes up with little crust at the corner of his eyes.

 

He wipes it off and then turns his attention to the cause of his wake, your phone, ringing out a very annoying alarm tone. Thankfully, he’s able to stretch and end it before you really wake up. Yoongi looks down at your sleeping figure, who totally stole the blanket not even an hour after being clocked out. He sighs softly as to say, “What am I gonna do with you?” before smiling like an idiot. Fuck, he’s _really_ got you here, naked and curled against him, sleeping like a baby. He scoops you up more, wiggling against you, slightly in hopes of getting more than the little sliver of blanket you’ve left him. His movements cause you to stir, and he’s not really sorry, since he figures you had that alarm set for something, but he presses a sweet kiss to the top of your head anyway.

 

His brain retraces everything that’s happened, and he’s suddenly aware that the whole reason you came to his studio was to tell him about whatever happened that caused you to need to stay at work. Yeah, that conversation he overheard yesterday.

 

You twist your body to look at him, causing your head so scoot farther down his torso, practically on his stomach as you pry your eyes open. You offer him a lazy smile and close your eyes again before stretching like a mad woman.

 

Finally, Yoongi watches you fall limp against him again, your muscles nice and satisfied.

 

“Good morning,” He says with a lift of his brow. You smile cheekily.

 

“Morning.” You pull yourself off his torso to lay next to him properly, taming your hair a bit along the way.

 

"Sleep well?" He turns over to his side, draping an arm over your middle.

 

You lift your eyebrows and smile again, looking him in the eyes. "Mhm, slept like a rock."

 

"Tell me about it," He laughs, pulling you closer. A comfortable silence falls onto the both of you before he finally speaks up about what's on his mind.

 

“Hey, you never told me what happened yesterday?” He knows it’s a bit early in the morning but he’s very curious all of a sudden. He had gotten so swept up in your confession and everything that happened last night, he didn’t even have a minute to think about why you were there in the first place.

 

Yoongi watches your eyes avert, an obvious change in mood for you. You’re silent for a long time and he’s suddenly worried that maybe he shouldn’t have asked, but finally you say, “Caye and I, uh, broke up.” Another long pause. “He made a huge scene in front of everyone. Honestly, I’d never seen him so mad. We’d been arguing in that room, you know, the one with the laundry room-type counters? Then he stormed out and yelled like an idiot. It was so embarrassing.”

 

Yoongi felt unease try to climb down his throat and into his stomach. But he shook it away. You and Caye weren’t together anymore, and Yoongi trusted your confession. He knew you wouldn’t just say something like that. He just hated the thought of you with that prick.

 

So, to overcome that, he pushed the subject further. He needed to know these things, instead of just pushing it away because he didn’t like the idea of it. You deserved more than that. “He was still mad about you not moving in?”

 

You lifted a brow and shook your head, “Not really. He found a new problem in our relationship so he stressed that instead. He dropped the idea of me moving in a little bit before we ended things.”

 

“What he was so upset about then? Or what were you upset about?” He makes sure to include that last question, despite his doubt. All the times you were stressed with your relationship, it was always because your boyfriend was mad at you, not the other way around. But who was he to assume? You could be pretty ruthless when you were mad.

 

You’re still not making eye contact when you say, “It’s not important.”

 

Yoongi scoffs, “Of course it is.” He knows it’s important to you because you don’t want to talk about it.

 

“Well, actually,” You hesitate, but Yoongi stays silent, waiting for you to continue. “...We fought about you a lot. I mean, more like the relationship I have with you. I think he knew...”

 

“Knew what?”

 

“Shut up, you know what I’m talking about,” You whine, head tilting back some. He laughs.

 

“No, I don’t.” And he actually doesn’t. What did Caye know? That Yoongi was in love with you? How close you two were?

 

“I think he knew,” You sigh. “that I was in love with you. And that I wasn’t fully his. To his credit, I feel like shit for it, I know it was horrible to be with someone you don’t love. But he also went about it horribly.”

 

Yoongi feels like he isn’t in his own body. It’s so surreal. He hates that you went through such a messy breakup, but god, it’s so fucking satisfying in some twisted way to know that your heart was with Yoongi when you were dating Caye. Yoongi had been so goddamn jealous, so it was a nice turn events to know that you wanted him, not Caye.

 

Yoongi doesn’t know what to say, so he just kisses you. It’s surprisingly soft and lazy, a sharp contrast to his thumping heart.

 

You respond with the same lax movements as his until his hands begin skimming down your naked body, down your sides and over the swell of your ass. Then he presses his tongue to your lips, and you easily open them without a second thought.

 

“We have--” You gasp against his mouth when his hands begin to drift between your legs. “--to meet Sejin soon.”

 

“So we’re late, he’ll be okay,” Yoongi dismisses, shifting his weight over yours.

 

You’re about to protest when you feel he’s already a little hard against your thigh, and with him thumbing the inner patches of your legs, you cave.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thankfully, you and Yoongi weren’t as late as Jimin and Jungkook, so Sejin wasn’t too judgmental. Yoongi had been all over you the whole way to the conference room, kissing at your neck and pulling your backside flush against him in hopes that you’d say fuck it to the meeting and just go for the dorms. He couldn’t help it.

 

Once he got his taste, he couldn’t get enough. He felt like the two of you had to leave the studio prematurely; he needed more time to lay with you.

 

You brushed him off on the way to the meeting, but it was hard to resist the temptation. You wouldn’t just bail on a meeting, though. It wasn’t like you, and Yoongi was well aware. So with one final tug at your ass, he quit pushing. You glared at him for the gesture, but you were no actress. He could see the amusement in your eyes.

 

“Well, nice of you to finally join us,” Sejin says flatly when you pass the threshold of the room.

 

You give him a sheepish smile. “Sorry, we overslept.”

 

Yoongi hums from beside you in agreement, knowing damn well that you’ll pick up on the insinuation. You resist the urge to roll your eyes.

 

Sejin glances between both of you and sighs, “Well, Jimin and Jungkook-ah are late too. They’ll be here in a few minutes so we’ll just wait for them.”

 

Yoongi is slightly nervous that everyone in the room can somehow sense that you’ve just fucked the night before (and just before you both left the studio) somehow, but nobody is fazed. And Yoongi realizes that to everyone else, nothing has changed. The two of you slept in the same bed? Nothing new. When that happened for the first time all those years ago, everyone had been shocked and concerned. But you both insisted it was platonic, which it was at the time, and it became known that you and Yoongi just had a friendlier relationship than most.

 

So he relaxes, because this is how it’s always been. To everyone else, at least.

 

You give Sejin a nod and start to drift over to the table, and Yoongi naturally follows. You at least bothered to change before coming here, since you had packed clothes anyway. Yoongi wanted you to wear the big, dark grey hoodie he had been wearing, but you told him that it’d be too obvious.

 

When you both were on the road for long periods of time, you sometimes would wear some of the members clothes because they were bigger and bulkier than most of the things you wore and _fuck_ if they didn’t bring enough clothes to have some to spare. Honestly, they could dress orphanages with what they brought on the road. But you weren’t complaining, not if it worked in your favor.

 

You usually liked to borrow one of Namjoon’s big ass coats when he didn’t need them, especially this neon one that he never wore but it was so warm and big that you couldn’t resist. You actually might not have given it back… it could still be at the bottom of an unpacked suitcase somewhere, you’re not sure.

 

But oh, the first time you had worn something of Yoongi’s, it was the first major thing that gave him a clue of his feelings for you. They were in Japan for The Most Beautiful Moment In life pt. 2, it was late and everyone had crashed in their rooms, including Yoongi’s roomie at the time. So he had decided to leave the space and step out into the hall for a walk around the hotel to clear his head.

 

When he had rounded the corner at the end of the hallway, he ran _right_ into someone, that someone being you, and you almost lost your balance so he reached out to steady you. That’s when he realized, with both of his hands on your arms, that you were wearing _his_ hoodie. How you got it? He didn't know, he didn't care. And at the time, he was just starting to see more than the sexual attraction. So it was a confusing mix of _wow this is adorable, look how big it is on her_ , and _fuck that’s so hot, I don’t care if I’m possessive anymore._

 

He’d told you with hot cheeks that he was sorry before speeding back to his room and taking a very _unhelpful_ cold shower.

 

“Of course I’m coming. I worked on the time sheets for it, so I better at least get to see the interview.” Yoongi’s brought back down to Earth when he hears you joking to Seokjin. Oh, yeah, those time sheets you had been stressed about. They were for the schedules for an interview and a sponsor consultation in Wuhan. He remembered you mentioning that you’d be joining them mostly just to go, since Sejin suggested it as a bit of reward for helping him with so many things lately.

 

“Ah, that’s good. You’ll have to go eat with the kids. Taehyung and Jungkook-ah haven’t seen you much lately,” Jin says, as if he’s been told that. He probably has. The younger members had always been fond and a bit clingy when it came to you, since you were all just as close as the members themselves, but the difference being that you didn’t get to see them as often.

 

You just smile and nod, lean back in your chair more, and just a few moments later, said boys are walking through the door and greeting Sejin, more guilty than you had been. Sejin just waves them off with a stern look. It’s not like you were on a strict schedule today, anyways.

 

Then you’re diving into the meeting, Sejin briefing the boys on the next couple of days before they all leave for Wuhan and you discussing management and all the preparation you’ve been doing for it with other staff attending the meeting. It’s not very many people, just enough really, so that word will get out and everyone can set to work.

 

A little under an hour later, the boys are free until the afternoon. You, however, are still stuck in the meeting, so Yoongi decides to go back to the dorms with Hoseok, Namjoon, and Jimin to hang out for a while.

 

Everyone, including Yoongi, has practice in a couple hours. So he decides to have leftovers that Seokjin made last night, when he had been at the studio with you, and talk with the other members. It’s been a while, they’ve been pretty busy doing separate things.

 

It’s the calm before the storm. Except the calm is as much work they can get in before they’re on schedules and the storm is a comeback.

 

Seokjin has seemingly been very relaxed lately, which was nice to see. Yoongi always admired how the oldest could just go and go, usually keeping up with the maknae line when they were feeling a little energetic so that Namjoon could focus on the important things.

 

Yoongi always takes this time between comebacks for songwriting, but he’s really been at it lately. He’s had a lot of inspiration, probably stemming from what’s been going on with you. He wonders now that since you know how he feels about you, if he should tell you about all the lyrics he’s slipped in about you over the years and even in the songs he’s been working on lately, writing them with you sitting just a few feet away and completely clueless.

 

“Hyung, how’s the songwriting going? You’ve been at your studio a lot lately,” Jimin looks up at Yoongi, ever the person for small talk.

 

Yoongi’s lips quirk up at that, Jimin’s words reminding him of exactly why he’s been at the studio so much, aside from music. “Yeah, just have motivation I guess. Getting it out before I don’t have any,” He chuckles lightly. But, if things continue the way they are with you, then he’s sure he’ll have inspiration for years.

 

“That’s good,” Namjoon pipes up. “___ helping you?”

 

Yoongi smiles a bit bigger and nods at the mention of you. All hidden meanings aside, you really have been helping him work through his overthinking and writer’s block. You always do. You bring a different view of producing music and taste, and sometimes the two of you don’t agree, but all the other times you can help him see the other side of things. He doesn’t know much about what you’ve been working on separately, but he’s sure you must not be getting very far with how much you’ve been helping everyone else.

 

It’s comical, Yoongi thinks. You’re a music producer essentially, but you’ve been doing so many things out of those lines lately that you could very well just be one of their managers. It sounds like a stretch, but you take any responsibility you’re handed and help out with a lot; it wouldn’t be _too_ surprising if the company renewed your credentials as a manager.

 

“She’s been busy these days, hasn’t she,” Namjoon asks, taking a seat at the table with Yoongi and Jimin.

 

“Yeah, Jungkook-ah said he heard something happened between her and that guy,” Jimin mentions, furrowing his brows and lifting his gaze in search of answers. You were never very chatty or open about your personal life, despite all of you practically being family. In the end, you were still a little reserved.

 

The only people that knew you were dating “that guy” was Yoongi, Namjoon, and Seokjin.

 

“Don’t worry about it Jiminie. It wasn’t a big deal,” Namjoon nods over at Jimin, his response oddly instant. Did Namjoon know exactly what had happened? Yoongi feels like he’s the only person who doesn’t, he had cooped himself up in his dorm and apparently missed it.

 

“Really? Because Jungkook told me the same thing. Apparently she seemed upset when it happened and he was really mad. What was his name?” Hoseok suddenly cuts into the conversation, still leaning against the counter with some shitty instant noodle cup. Why he eats that when he could just heat up something much healthier that Jin made, Yoongi doesn’t know.

 

Suddenly Namjoon seems a little irritated. “Guys, I said don’t worry about it. It’s none of our business. You know she wouldn’t want us gossiping over something small like this.”

 

But Yoongi doesn’t think it’s small. Not with the way Namjoon clearly knows something that Yoongi doesn’t.

 

* * *

 

Yoongi would be lying if he said that he would love nothing more than to just fucking crash after practice, but he fought it in favor of asking Namjoon about you.

 

Namjoon had ended the conversation about it before, but Yoongi was just hoping that was because Hoseok and Jimin didn’t know just who and what “that guy” was to you.

 

So he pulled his leader aside in the hall, suggesting that they take the long way to the dorms so Yoongi could talk to him.

 

“What’s up?” Namjoon finally spoke up after a few beats down the hall.

 

“I just wanted to ask about ___. I mean, we weren’t really talking much when Caye and her fought--”

 

“That was not a _fight_ ,” Namjoon interrupts, already a little worked up about the topic again. What the hell was his deal?

 

Yoongi takes a moment of silence before saying “...Okay, then, what was it?”

 

Namjoon sighs but rushes his words out, as if he’s been dying to talk about this. But it’s okay, Yoongi’s dying to know, especially because his leader seems so passionate about the subject. “That was just him yelling at her and ___ trying to calm him down. I’m not gonna lie, Yoongi-ah,” Namjoon shakes his head, honorifics be damned. “I wanted to punch him right in the mouth for saying some of the stuff he said.”

 

Yoongi swallows. Namjoon was not a violent man. In fact, Yoongi doesn’t think he’s ever seen or heard of Namjoon wanting to hurt anything in his life. But he gets it, even if he doesn’t know exactly what Caye said. You were special to all of the members, and they felt for you like family because that’s what you did from day one.

 

“You were there?”

 

“Yeah, I was there. I was the only one of the boys that _was_ there, and somehow they _all_ know about it. I just told him respectfully to leave and then came back over to ___ and she was starting to cry. I wasn’t sure what to say so I just pulled her aside, away from all the people that had gathered and just kinda sat with her. I hadn’t seen her that upset in years, not in front of me.” Namjoon quiets down when they pass some staff, the topic not exactly for anyone to hear.

 

When the person has rounded the corner behind him he continues, “I _told_ Jin that guy was weird, he fucking held the back of her _neck_ when she introduced him to us, remember?” Yoongi remembers. And he remembers the older members, the only members that met him, being skeptical of him, too. But nothing could’ve foreshadowed something like that.

 

“Did she talk to you about it?” Yoongi’s voice was a little unsteady but he was determined to get as much as he could because the dorms were literally around this corner.

 

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t think I should repeat the conversation we had, but she was okay by the end of it all. She always is,” Namjoon sighs, already fishing out the dorm key.

 

Yoongi felt annoyed. He didn’t know why exactly, but he was. What was said that Namjoon couldn’t tell? He knew that you and Yoongi don’t really keep secrets like that, so what?

 

And why hadn’t you mentioned any of this before? You never said anything about Namjoon even being there, let alone being the one who held you during the aftermath. Yoongi thinks that’s a pretty big detail to leave out.

 

As if on cue, his phone pings with a text from you.

 

_(8:47 P.M.) Goodnight, if you’re still awake. And sleep well because we’re getting lunch tomorrow. Love you._

 

Despite the current things that have come to light, Yoongi still feels his heart flutter and cracks a little smile at the gesture. It wasn’t rare for you to do things like this, a short “rest up, you’ve got lots to do tomorrow” text every now and again, especially if you hadn’t seen each other much, like today. But they definitely didn’t have the admittance of _love_ in them.

 

_(8:48 P.M.) Goodnight, babe. Looking forward to it. Love you._

 

And then Yoongi’s clicking off his phone and crashing in his room, practice tiring him out before 9:30 has even hit.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some good old fluff
> 
> i have an ANNOUNCEMENT! 
> 
> for the week of the fourth of july, i'm going on vacation, and i most likely wont even have wifi if i wanted to post. so i'll try to finish another chapter before i leave, but if i don't i'm sorry. i'll try and write but damn man my kiddo relatives are a lot to keep up with
> 
> if you're enjoying the story so far i hope you'll drop some kudos or leave a comment if you have any requests or think i could improve something. thank you guys for reading and caring about the stuff i put out, it means a lot

Yoongi sees you coming down the stairs to meet him, dressed and already smiling when you see him, and he realizes something.

 

He wants to do these stupid, cheesy couple things with you. He wants to hold your hand and make you laugh, he wants to kiss you until he can’t breathe, he wants to tell you dumb pickup lines that only Seokjin would dare to use because he knows you’d cringe but deep down you’d love it.

 

When you’ve both gotten in a car, Yoongi is all over you with the privacy. He kisses you like he hasn’t done it in years, gripping your thigh and cupping your cheek. You’re a little taken off-guard since it’s a bit risky, but you kiss back anyway, smiling like an absolute idiot.

 

“Mm,” You hum against his lips. “Calm down, lover boy.”

 

Yoongi grins because he can’t help it. “So where are we eating?”

 

“You’ll see,” You chirp, squeezing his hand that still rests against your cheek.

 

* * *

 

Yoongi figured that the two of you would be going to the place you eat regularly, what with knowing owners and having an easy, discreet location to eat at on the spot. But you had something different in mind apparently, handing Yoongi a mask and putting one on yourself before stepping out of the car at the restaurant’s front.

 

It’s nice, is Yoongi’s passing thought. He doesn’t have much time to look or think because you’re soon dragging him along, careful not to hold his hand on instinct. This place was a little more public, he could tell with the way you’re hurrying to get inside and to a private room.

 

He follows you blindly, distantly hearing you greet someone in English before walking down a narrow hallway.

 

He finally has a moment to look up from under his bucket hat at the pretty white walls in the hall, modern lamps hanging from the ceiling and lots of doors littering the way down. There’s a woman, which Yoongi only now notices, that’s ahead of you, dressed in a classic black attire, hair pulled back tightly. She turns and opens one of the many doors with a key, stepping aside to let you in.

 

When the room comes into view, Yoongi realizes it’s a private dining area, nothing too fancy, but it wasn’t like Yoongi could eat out in the open in a place like this.

 

You speak to the woman again, but Yoongi’s brain doesn’t work fast enough to translate your English, so he just takes a seat instead. Just a few moments later, you turn back to him and offer him a small smile before slipping into the chair opposite of him. A silence falls until the bodyguards slip out behind the woman and stand outside the door.

 

Usually, Yoongi would find the whole ordeal a little draining and too formal. He prefers to just chill around the dorms or in his studio, eating takeout and watching some shitty drama that neither of you actually care about, but use as some sort of excuse to spend time together. Going out meant getting permission and that comes with a scheduled arrival and return that has to be followed to a T, designated drivers and guards-- no matter how many times he had gone through the whole ordeal of just going out to have a meal with someone, he would never get used to it.

 

But today, he just feels plain happy. It feels like a gesture of sorts.

 

“Well, if I didn’t know any better I’d think this was a date,” Yoongi grins cheekily before pouring some cheap champagne for the both of you. It’s simple, really. You know Yoongi prefers this because it’s what you prefer, too. The room is small and plain, and they probably only put decent alcohol out because they knew _Yoongi of BTS_ was coming to pay a visit. He hopes you bring him here more often.

 

“It can be a date if you want it to be,” You match his grin, bringing the glass up to your lips for a sip.

 

“I do,” He shrugs. You raise your eyebrows, but you don’t look shocked. “Obviously I know you treat the other members to meals and stuff like this, but I wanna do it more often. Kinda feel like being cheesy romantics.”

 

You’re slightly red from his sudden confession, and he can barely spot it in the shitty lighting, but it makes you look beautiful. He briefly wonders if the lights are supposed to be romantic or if they’re just cheap.

 

“You _are_ a cheesy romantic, what are you talking about,” You giggle, crossing your legs and tugging the tablecloth out of the way.

 

Yoongi gasps in mock offense, “I am not!”

 

Your jaw drops open, smiling, as you chime, “Oh you so are. You don’t like to admit it, but you’re a sap.”

 

Yoongi rolls his eyes but huffs in amusement, raising his hands in defense. “Sue me if I’m affectionate with my girlfriend.”

 

Your eyes widen a bit at that, hands stilling around your glass of champagne as you freeze.

 

_Oh shit._

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean--” He’s backpedaling, he said it without thinking, you’re probably wondering what the hell he _was_ thinking, “I uh, that just kinda--”

 

A small burst of laughter cuts him off, your hand reaching out to grip his gently, pure amusement in your eyes. “Yoongi, calm your ass down. You’re fine.”

 

His eyes flicker over your face, still unsure for a moment, but slowly, he grins and relaxes. “Sure?”

 

You hum and nod, still smiling. God, you look so beautiful, all Yoongi wants to do is feel that smile against his lips.

 

“So, then, you wouldn’t mind being my girlfriend?” He’s pushing, that little edge in his tone that lets you know he’s not too serious, but that he’s still taking in your response.

 

You pause for a moment and Yoongi thoroughly panics. Did he read you wrong? Were you just looking for a sexual relationship? Suddenly he’s ditching all the utterances of love you had--

 

“Jesus, Yoongi, I’m fucking with you,” You breathe out. Your eyes are wide when Yoongi looks up at them. “Of course I wanna be your girlfriend. Damn, I thought maybe you’d seen a ghost.”

 

Yoongi scoffs defensively, but you know he’s joking. “Yeah, me too.”

 

“Which part?”

 

Yoongi looks up from the appetizer with questioning eyes. A moment passes before he realizes, the crease in his brow smoothing. “Oh, both.”

 

You smile, shyly, and the shyness is a rare sight but you’ve had it a lot lately around him, and it’s painfully endearing. “Really?”

 

Yoongi laughs at your schoolgirl antics but nods nevertheless. “Of course, babe.”

 

He doesn’t miss the way your cheeks flood with pink and your eyes suddenly find your lap very interesting. You mumble something, but he doesn’t hear it.

 

“What?”

 

Your eyes dart up, almost as if you didn’t know you had spoken. Your mouth opens and then closes before you shake your hand and wave him off. “Nothing.”

 

“What is it? Why have you gotten so shy all of a sudden?”

 

It’s amusing, Yoongi thinks. You were never very shy, but he’s been getting you so flustered lately and he can’t help but let it go straight to his pride.

 

“I’m not, I’m not,” You defend. “I just said that I think it’s cute… when you call me babe so easily.”  


Oh.

 

Okay, well, he wasn’t really expecting that.

 

Quickly, Yoongi smirks and decides the opportunity is too good not to tease you. “Are you sure cute is the right word?”

 

You meet his eyes now, unimpressed, and roll your own. “Shut up and eat.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

By the time you’ve made it back to the dorms, Yoongi is tired of talking, his belly pretty full and his heart singing your name.

 

During lunch, you’d brought up rules and cautions with staff and the other members, and a sort of awkwardness settled after the conversation. Yoongi was reminded of the dangers of everything; dating a producer with the company. It’s easy to forget because you’re like family, with Yoongi _and_ the other members. It’s hard to keep in mind that you work together in the end.

 

He knows he should feel unprofessional, but he doesn’t. This more than fucking a coworker. He’s in love with you, and you love him. He wouldn’t regret it for the world.

 

Yoongi at least has the awareness to glance down both ways of the hallway before pulling you in for a kiss, hands gripping your waist. He knows it’s a little dangerous, but not a lot of staff is even allowed in the area and he just can’t help himself. His skin begins to tingle when you mindlessly drag your hands from his chest to his stomach, then fisting in his blue sweatshirt. He moans, ever so softly, and he knows you’ve heard it when your breath stutters.

 

“Yoongi-” You exhale against his relentless mouth. “--Don’t start something you can’t finish.”

 

Yoongi digs his teeth into your lip purposefully. “Who said I can’t finish this?”

 

You take a minute to recover from the harsh squeeze on your ass, pulling your body flush against his. “Surely someone’s home,” You whisper.

 

Yoongi pauses for a minute to think about it. Namjoon is helping Jungkook cover an English song in the studio for the _100 th _time this week, Hoseok and Jimin are out with some actor friends that Yoongi has yet to meet. That just leaves Taehyung.

 

“Stay here,” Yoongi hisses into your ear, giving the shell of it a quick peck before slipping off of you and unlocking the door.

 

He shuts it softly behind him, not sure why he’s trying to be quiet, and peeps around the corner to scan the kitchen and the living room, thankfully empty.

 

“Hello,” He calls out when he’s in the hallway. He waits a few moments, and when he’s met with silence, he opens everyone’s doors.

 

He actually exhales in relief when Taehyung is nowhere to be found and takes long strides back to the front door.

 

“Good news, we--” Yoongi cuts himself off when he sees Taehyung standing right there next to you, clearly in the middle of conversation. “ _Oh_ , hey Taehyung-ah.”

 

Taehyung’s face looks oddly worried, but he’s got his phone charger and wallet in his hands, so Yoongi can conclude that he’s probably came back to the dorm for a while.

 

It’s not logical to be disappointed. A dorm with 7 residents is almost never going to be empty, but he’d gotten himself well excited at the thought of having you in his bed, and not just to watch TV or brainstorm lyrics like in the past. He wants to _have_ you on his bed.

 

“Hey, hyung. You two going somewhere?”

 

Tae’s voice is still weirdly cautious and Yoongi doesn’t know what the reason for it is. But it’s making him nervous.

 

“Uh, yeah, probably the studio,” He says, and it’s not a lie. The next best thing would be the studio since the dorms are about to be occupied.

 

Taehyung nods in understanding before he says, “Well, just take care of her,” Tae nods in your direction, and Yoongi’s heart leaps into his throat because he doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about, but Yoongi is definitely taking it the wrong way.

 

Taehyung doesn’t elaborate, just tells both of you goodbye before walking into the dorms. Yoongi’s already walking away with you when the door clicks shut.

 

“What did he mean, take care of you?”

 

You laugh quietly, cover your mouth with your hand the second he asks that. “Um… well, you went inside and just like, one minute later he comes up to me and I guess I looked a little… disheveled, so I just told him I felt ill.”

 

Yoongi’s lips part as he remembers your quite obviously turned on expression, out in the open hallway, and Taehyung had thought something was wrong. It’s a dangerous game the both of you are playing, but it’s good, too good to stop.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Weeks blur and Yoongi gets progressively natural with you. It comes easier to pretend that you're just friends in front of others, and it comes easier to flow as a real couple when you're alone. Yoongi's just forced to separate public interactions from private, because it's not exactly like he could kiss you in front of his managers or something. This is just how it is.

 

One very (too) late night in the studio reminds him or how much he just needs you in his space, in his life, filtering his air.

 

 

“Fucks sake,” Yoongi grumbles. He tears off his headphones and nearly slams them into the desk, swiveling in his chair to run his hands through his hair in stress.

 

“You’re gonna go bald.”

 

He’s not getting anywhere. How many days had he been trying to wrap this song up?

 

It started from a real place of inspiration, but once he discovered that it would be a hit, everything was suddenly too forced. Forcing himself to finish it and arrange it perfectly, even though the inspiration died out the second he laid down the basic melody.

 

And even still, as he hears your warning voice next to him, his hand still locked in his hair, he still forces it because he needs to finish it _needs to finish it._

 

“I can’t fucking help it,” He exasperates, squeezing his eyes shut in stress.

 

“Yoongi, you’ve been trying to finish this track for weeks,” You say.

 

“Yeah, _pretty sure_ I’m aware,” He snaps, tone sharp and overly fed up. You let a silence fall between you because you know it’ll weigh heavy.

 

And it does. Yoongi isn’t frustrated with you, he knows you’re just pointing that out to encourage him to either shut it down or try something new.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

But your hand is already reaching out and smoothing over his shoulder in understanding. You get it. Of course you get it.

 

“I don’t deserve you,” He sighs dryly, eyes still closed.

 

He feels you shift closer to him, getting out of your own chair and slowly resting into his lap as you’ve done a million and one times before. “Shut the hell up,” You scold, but he knew that kind of response was coming anyway.

 

But Yoongi lets himself relax, let you flood his senses, break through the film of stress and the lose-lose equilibrium that’s been plaguing him. He focuses on your right hand, which rubs soothing movements into his sore muscles, your left hand that gently pulls his own hand out of his locks, now messy with the raking.

 

He lets his hand, now free, fall onto your thigh and you press a long, reassuring kiss to the top of his head.

 

The both of you sit in comfortable silence, the patters that Yoongi draws on the meat of your thighs not really making any sense but speaking as a silent thank you for the distraction. It gets so quiet, in the studio. It’s soundproof, and that means that the people on the inside can’t hear much on the outside either. But it’s welcomed silence, it gives Yoongi something to focus on instead of the impossibly loud thoughts that bang off each other in his head as he builds music.

 

“Can I have a listen?” Your voice is soft, because you know Yoongi needs the calm now, the gentleness. He gives himself such a hard time.

 

“Sure,” He responds shortly, reaching up for the mouse. But you push his hands out of the way and lean forward instead.

 

You pick up the formerly slung headphones and put them on, reaching over to play the track so far.

 

Yoongi watches your expression, deep in thought clearly. He likes this. Watching you do what you love.

 

It just _happens_ to be that you share this love for music and producing it, but Yoongi promises that no matter what passions you have, he loves to watch you work them.

 

When the track rolls to a stop after a few minutes (those few minutes fly by for Yoongi) your eyes flicker over the software for a moment. He can practically see your mind lighting up with possibilities and patches to fix whatever the fuck it’s missing.

 

A good minute passes of you just sitting, in silence, on his lap, staring at the sound waves in contemplation. Then your hand is on the mouse and you’re zooming out to examine the whole track. You’re moving quick, adding something and then deleting it immediately, a trial and error.

 

Without being able to hear what you’re playing, he’s a bit lost, so he just settles on watching the functioning of your creativity that shows in your eyes. He shifts his gaze from your eyes, your lips, your nose, your brows, cheeks, ears, jaw, chin, lashes--

 

“This isn’t much of a change, but have a listen. I think you’re trying too hard to go for _one_ theme. Open your options up,” You startle him out of his gazing and hand him the headphones. He arches a brow at you curiously and you just motion the headphones forward again.

 

Yoongi takes them, puts them on, and you press space to start the track. For the first, maybe, 10 or so seconds, nothings changed. But then the beat comes in and something is… different.

 

He listens carefully, trying to pinpoint it, but ditches it in favor of just _listening_ to the way it sounds now. You gave it a new vibe with the same melody and beat structure, and you’re right, it’s making him look at it kind of differently.

 

As the track comes to an abrupt end, he thinks that’s where his stress was stemming from. He was focusing too hard on a single tone and putting himself in a box, never a good thing but somehow always happening. And you save the day again, he thinks.

 

He chuckles at his cheesy thoughts.

 

“What?”

 

You’re smiling down at him on his lap with tired eyes, and he just has to, so he slips a finger under your chin and pulls your mouth to his for a lazy kiss. You sigh into it, your hand coming up to cup Yoongi’s jaw.

 

You’re pulling away from him too soon in his opinion. He’d gladly kiss you for hours on end. “So?”

 

Yoongi licks his lips, tasting you. “What did you even do? I couldn’t single it out.”

 

You smile softly and shrug, and Yoongi hates how casual you look when you’ve possibly just solved a problem he’s been struggling with for weeks. “Just added some synth. And reverb to your melody. _Oh_ and added a few classic snares,” You say, making the _magnifique_ hand gesture. He just rolls his eyes at your antics.

 

Yoongi’s sure you did more, the pieces that you mentioned being considerably basic that it’s hard to believe you changed the whole tone, but he doesn’t say anything. He’ll look later.

 

"I like it. Definitely not the finished product, but you have stuck true to your word and opened my opportunities up," He sighs dramatically. 

 

You smile, clearly pleased. "Good."

 

“Can we work like this from now on?” Yoongi motions to you sitting on his lap, fingers still idly brushing over the fabric of his shirt.

 

It’s your turn to roll your eyes and scoff. “You wish.”

 

You say that, but make no move to get up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> goddammit i've gone soft


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise bitches!1!1
> 
> yes, i have updated before i leave for vacation and get wasted
> 
> i will most likely NOT be updating while i'm away because ^^ you hear that? wasted I said. so please stick around, if i don't have something written, i'm sure i will once i get back in state and at home.
> 
> enjoy some short smut btw!! mwah

Yoongi could sense something was wrong with you the second you met at the airport.

 

You board the jet late, one of the managers just behind you, bag in hand and something solemn in your features.

 

If someone asked Yoongi to write down on paper exactly how he knew something was off with you, he wouldn’t be able to. As always, he just feel it in the air, in your presence.

 

He watches you shuffle to the back of the jet, heading straight for the bunks, it seems.

 

They’ve got a whopping 12 hour flight ahead of them, all the way to London. So Yoongi pads in behind you, awkwardly sliding past a staff member in the hallway with a mumbled “excuse me”. He pushes the little doorway curtain open.

 

Yoongi doesn’t really know why he was expecting you to be agitated, but it’s a nice surprise when you reach your arms out like a child and motion for you to hug him. He smiles a little and does, without even thinking. You hug him tightly, squeezing and burying your head in his neck with a long sigh. His heart flutters.

 

You’ve been officially together for months now, but you still give Yoongi butterflies. He wonders if he ever gave you this feeling, and if he still does.

 

Yoongi raises his hand and strokes the back of your head softly, closing his eyes and relaxing in your smell and your embrace. He can almost see your shoulders sagging with an effort to try and hold up whatever is stressing you. He’ll hold you up so that you don’t have to, if you let him. He figures you must just be tired; it is early and you _surely_ spent too many hours at the studio because you knew you wouldn’t be in it for a few days.

 

“Oh, am I interrupting something?” Jimin startles the serenity bubble around the two of you, waddling into the small room.

 

But you still clutch to Yoongi, shaking your head no. You reach your arm out to Jimin, flicking your wrist and urging him over. The younger lifts a curious brow but steps closer, and once he’s in reach, you’re tugging him forward by the material of his sweater. He stumbles into the hug, but gets the idea and soon he sidesteps some, practically sandwiching you between him and Yoongi with a quiet giggle.

 

Yoongi just smiles oddly at the situation. You’re being so clingy and needy, and while one part of Yoongi wanted to tell you to suck it up, the other wanted to indulge. That part was just stronger. _It feels good to be needed._

 

“Well this is nice,” Jimin says comically, and you release a little laugh.

 

“We probably look like weirdos right now,” Yoongi says, blowing air on Jimin’s face just to tease him. He makes a face.

 

You huff into Yoongi’s shirt, “So what?”

 

You finally release Yoongi, leaning back to signal Jimin to let you go as well. You offer Jimin a little smile before sighing out, “Thanks, think I needed that.”

 

“Anything for you, milady,” Jimin says with a little bow and walks over to the corner of the room.

 

Yoongi watches you roll your eyes at his band mate and immediately make for the bed.

 

“Jimin-ah,” You call, ditching formalities. “When you go back to the seats, ask if anyone plans on sleeping on the bed, because if not then I am.”

 

Yoongi would bet all his money that you’re going to ask him to nap with you. You could easily take one of the bunks and not worry about it, but the bunks can barely fit one person. And where would that leave Yoongi?

 

Jimin nods at you, picking up a blue bag and swiftly avoiding a collision with Yoongi, who was already crossing the room to slide into the spot next to you, too impatient to test his theory.

 

You mess with your carry-on and pull something out, setting it on the floor and leaving it there as you roll back onto the bed. On reflex, Yoongi’s arm lifts and you settle on his shoulder.

 

“Guys, feel free to sleep. We’re all staying in here for a while,” Jimin chirps, peeking his head around the corner at the two of you.

 

You give him a sweet thank you, and Jimin even tugs at the tie of the curtain, letting it fall and give you some sort of separation from the rest of the jet.

 

It’s so early that it’s still kind of dark out, but there’s only two, very small windows in this part of the aircraft anyway. Your breathing is quiet when you pull yourself away a bit to arrange the pillows better, easing back into it with a satisfied sigh.

 

You turn to look at Yoongi, who’s just watching you. “You ok, babe?”

 

You smile a bit. Him calling you “babe” seems to be really growing on you. You lean forward and kiss him as a response, softly, but surprisingly deep.

 

He’s a bit taken back by it, but he’s kissing back nevertheless, hands coming up to slide into your hair. You sink farther into the bed, on your back, so Yoongi just follows your movements with his lips on yours.

 

He’s practically on top of you, slipping his tongue between your lips, and you surprisingly let him in. Yoongi gets goosebumps when your hands rub up his sides, making his shirt ride up some.

 

“I missed you,” You mumble against his lips.

 

His heart swells at that, because god, he missed you too. You haven’t seen each other for a week and a half, a sharp contrast to spending almost _all_ of your time together. Yoongi remembers seeing you for the first time after you had been working with a solo artist as a bit of a workshop for the newbie. He remembers how bad he just wanted to kiss you, to do a lot of things to you, with you. But there were several people in the room, and he couldn’t just get you alone until everyone had boarded the jet. And yet, there’s _still_ people here.

 

“I missed you,” He repeats, sliding his leg between yours.

 

You moan very softly, and that’s when Yoongi realizes how much you both need each other.

 

“Yoongi, we can’t--” You begin through Yoongi’s kissing. “There’s-- in the next room,” You whisper, breathing becoming shallow.

 

“So?” _Let them hear_ , Yoongi thinks, a little shocked at his own intensity.

 

You grunt quietly, and Yoongi pulls away now, going for the places he knows you’re sensitive, riling you up.

 

“So, we can’t get caught like this,” You pant.

 

Yoongi sighs wearily, dipping his head down and purposefully breathing into your ear, “Guess you’ll just have to be quiet, then.”

 

Your breath hitches. Yoongi likes that, dragging his lips across the side of your face until he brushes them against your mouth, not quite kissing you the way you’re expecting.

 

That’s when he feels your legs opening for him, spreading as a reflex. He slithers his hand between your legs, skillfully undoing the button and dragging the zipper down.

 

Suddenly you’re gripping his wrist to make him stop, and he panics that you _are_ going to shut it down, but thankfully you have other plans. He sits back and eyes you curiously as you tug the comforter back and slip your legs under it, motioning for him to do the same.

 

“Come on, I’m feeling exposed here,” You giggle, but it’s strained because Yoongi’s already worked you up.

 

“Someone’s eager,” Yoongi quips with a shitty grin, getting comfortable under the blanket. He loves it, loves knowing how hot he gets you, especially when all you have to do is _exist_ and you’re all he can think about.

 

He lays on his back now, pulling and guiding you on top of him, so that you’re laying on your back, stacked on his body. You’re pressed completely together this way, and Yoongi almost has full control of your body if he wishes to. You’re confused about the odd position, he can tell, but it vanishes when his hands begin to slide back between your legs and his lips are wetly kissing your neck and shoulder.

 

His fingers lift your underwear, lace-- he can feel it, and it has him humming in satisfaction. “Were you preparing for something, beautiful?”

 

You make a small squeak and it catches in your throat, trying to remain quiet, but give no answer. Yoongi gives a gentle tap to your clit to prompt you and hums in your ear again, “Hm?”

 

You jolt from the new, prickly sensation it causes, saying lowly, “N-No.”

 

Yoongi’s eyebrow quirks in interest. “No?” He’s curious now. He slides his fingers across your folds, speaking directly into your ear. You squirm just a little, but he can tell you’re trying to keep your movements under control. In this position, he’s everywhere; under you, around you, his hands are on top of you, between your legs, and you could never think of anything else. Not that you want to.

 

“Just wanted to dress up?” He presses you. He finally slips a finger past your entrance, curling it unfairly and causing you to gasp sharply.

 

“I--” You try, pausing to hold your breath. It comes out in a little huff once you realize you were holding it. “M-Missed you.”

 

Yoongi chuckles quietly, pressing small kisses behind your ear. “Babe, what does that have to do with your underwear?”

 

Yoongi slips another finger into you, pumping them faster, and it has you stifling a moan, hand gripping his forearm. He’s surprised when your voice comes out rather steady, albeit a little strained. “I-It’s the same I wore, first time,” You rush out at the end when Yoongi’s thumb attaches to your clit.

 

Yoongi’s brows crease in ponder. He lifts his head more, using the hand that isn’t occupied to lift the flap of your jeans up more and sure enough, peeking out is the familiar material that you had worn the first time you ever had sex with Yoongi. It’s simplistic, and it’s not all lace, Yoongi recalls. There’s a lining of it at the hem and then it’s cotton. He remembers you being slightly embarrassed when sliding them on the morning after, even though they were a little dirty, because you claimed you hadn’t been prepared, called them uninviting. Yoongi shook his head at you, scoffing because _you don’t have to wear something for me to like you. You make me fucking weak as it is._

 

And here you are now, wearing them, because you _missed him_. Honestly, Yoongi could marry you now.

 

He shifts a bit to try and look at your face, straining his neck because of the close proximity. You’re blushing deeply, chest heaving a bit and your bottom lip pulled between your teeth.

 

You turn your head, meeting Yoongi’s gaze, heart beating so hard you’re sure it’s gonna fucking explode because you’re about to admit something _so_ embarrassing.

 

“I touched myself yesterday night with these on,” You breath, and it hits his face, taunting. He freezes up, eyes locked onto your lips as you speak. “Couldn’t do what you do,” You whine quietly, starting to lose track of your words as the stimulation vanishes in his shock. “Need you to.”

 

If he wasn’t holding himself back, Yoongi could’ve cum right then and there, with your ass still shifting on his dick and his fingers in you. But he didn’t, growled out quietly to ease it instead, pumping his fingers into you once again. You’d never let him live that down, cumming in his pants, untouched, like a little boy. He tried to form coherent words but his head was still fucking spinning.

 

“Don’t worry, babe. I’m here now, gonna make you cum now-- _properly_ ,” He grits out, and his voice can only be described as aggressive. The image of you with your hand between your legs, missing him and his touch, burns into his mind. “ _Fuck_ , you don’t know what you do to me.”

 

You’re getting close, he can tell. Your back arches again and again as his thumb finds your clit once more.

 

He flicks his tongue over your ear lobe before whispering, “So pretty, my needy girl. You really did miss me, huh?”

 

You whine at that, squirming more than ever on top of him, and the sound is so loud that Yoongi almost pauses to see if anyone heard it. Instead, he takes his free hand and places it over your mouth, surprising you a bit. But apparently you’re into it, eyes screwing shut and thighs flexing.

 

“Gotta keep quiet, babe,” His voice is low and rough, baritone, and he knows what it does to you when he speaks like this.

 

You had been listening to BTS on shuffle, and when Outro: Tear had started, you were bopping your head along. Then the part came at the end of Yoongi’s verse, where his voice gets low like this, and you had spluttered in front of Yoongi that it “sounded good”. Yoongi knew what the blush on your cheeks meant from _“sounded good”._

 

The occasional whines against his palm are really driving him up the wall; he almost bucks his hips into your backside.

 

But he holds himself back, because he feels how close you are, the way you’re rolling into his hand without any care of how desperate it looks. He can feel the hot breaths that huff out of your nose and skim his hand.

 

“Gonna cum?” He asks lowly, and you nod, skin thrumming with anticipation. Yoongi snickers into the skin of your shoulder. “Never met anyone that cums as fast as you, babe.” And he hasn’t. But he absolutely loves it, feeds off how fast he can drive you to the edge.

 

If your skin wasn’t already red hot, he’s sure he’d see you blushing. Instead, he hears a low, embarrassed whine, muffled by his hand.

  
“Come on then, cum on my fingers,” His voice is taunting. “--with everyone _just_ in the other room.”

 

Your head falls back against Yoongi’s shoulder at that, and upon seeing how hot the idea makes you, he presses it further. “So reckless,” He makes a sound of mock disappointment. “What if Sejin came in here and saw you all sweaty, on top of me? Or poor little Jungkookie, catching the sight of my fingers working you under the blanket?”

 

And that does it, your whole body tensing, back arching off of Yoongi’s chest, walls pulsing and tightening around his fingers. He groans softly; you always get so, so tight when you cum, so sensitive. And fuck, you’re moving so much on top of him, hips jerking into his hand, ass literally stroking his dick and that’s the end of him.

 

You don’t feel it in the sea of pleasure that you’re floating on, but his teeth dig into his lips so hard he draws a little blood and he’s cumming in his pants like a fucking teenager.

 

“ _God_ , fuck,” He whispers as he comes down, still lightly moving his fingers against your walls. You’re heaving breaths, sweaty and spent. Just experimentally, Yoongi scissors his fingers once, and you positively jerk, a stunned noise of pleasure catching in your throat. It makes Yoongi chuckle, fucked out.

 

You attempt to turn over on him, but he holds you in place, because he’s sensitive and embarrassed; doesn’t want you to see the mess he’s made of himself.

 

And you whine, like, actually whine. “Hng-- stop _it_ \-- I want to kiss you goddammit,” you squeak, and Yoongi thinks you might actually cry if you don’t get to kiss him now. He feels kind of bad; you always have this need to kiss him after you cum, whether it be the first or second (possibly third) time. He doesn’t know why you need it so bad, but he’s curious.

 

Despite the little twinge of guilt for not giving you, his precious thing, what you want, he still finds himself snickering in amusement at your childlike ways. “Baby, what is so important that you must always kiss like this?”

 

You huff out a breath of air in annoyance. “I don’t know, it just makes me happy!” You pause, letting silence set in while Yoongi thoughtfully noses against your shoulder. “...Reminds me that it’s not just sex...”

 

Your voice is quiet, so quiet that Yoongi really almost misses it. But he doesn’t, he hears it loud and clear, and his chest tightens.

 

“Hey,” He says, a frown on his features as he shift you on top of him to look at you better. There’s vulnerability in your eyes, he can see it, can still hear it in your voice that has long stopped talking. “What are you talking about?”

 

Your eyes avert and you shake your head as you turn away from him, beginning to try and pull yourself off his body. “Nothing.”

 

Yoongi’s brows crease deeper and he reaches out to you again, catching you before you slide away from him. “Babe, you think that—that this is just sex for me?”

 

You sigh in mild aggravation, blinking rapidly. “No, Yoongi, I know that’s not how it is. Sometimes I just feel off.”

 

Now Yoongi sits up, letting you sink off of him and onto the spot next to him. You’re not making sense. If you know that’s not how it is, then that’s the end of it. Clearly something is giving you doubt.

 

“I don’t understand what you--”

 

“You don’t have to,” You interrupt him, and he doesn’t know why you’re suddenly so distant. Seriously, he’s clueless. “I didn’t even want to bring it up,” You snap, eyes trained on the wall.

 

Yoongi doesn’t know what to say, so a silence rises. He wants to say he’s sorry, but he doesn’t know what he’s sorry for, doesn’t know what he’s done wrong.

 

“I’m sorry,” You apologize instead after a long while, voice uneven and shaky. “I didn’t mean to-- it isn’t your _fault_ \-- damn... I am just the _best_ at taking shit out on you,” You choke out, and now Yoongi leans forward to peek at you, sees your eyes are welling with tears.

 

He calls your name softly, turning you over to hug you, worry in his heart making it thud and thud.

 

“Babe, we take shit out on each _other_ ,” He jokes, tries to lighten the suddenly dark moon. You offer him an amused scoff, followed by a sniffle. But it’s true. The amount of times that Yoongi had gotten just plain bitchy and rude with you for things that had nothing to you was embarrassing. And when he was in his deepest state of being hopelessly in love with you, without you having a goddamn clue, he’d take that out on you too, with cold shoulders and short replies, even though you wouldn’t know it was because he just couldn’t take being in love with someone who had no idea.

 

You didn’t do that shit to him near as much as he did it to you, but then again, you were always more in control of your emotions than he was. But lately, since the two of you have been together, that’s not been the case.

 

It worries him. He feels like he’s doing something wrong.

 

“I’m sorry,” You repeat, still clinging to him. “I’ve been so shitty lately.”

 

Yoongi makes a sound of discontentment and pulls away from you at that, looking you in the eyes. “Would you stop that? We all have our moments. I sure of hell have. Stop beating yourself down and just talk to me, tell me what’s up. I know you’ve been upset lately, so spill the beans. I won’t drop it until you do.”

 

You blink at him, gaze looking rather dreamy for a moment. Then, just like Yoongi said, you spill. “I feel like this is all too good to be true. And I know it’s stupid and fruitless to worry about us, I know you love me and you aren’t just some guy ready to throw me under the bus if It comes down to it. I just… can’t help it,” you sigh heavily, like it’s been on your mind for years.

 

“Look at me,” Yoongi orders in a soft voice, itching to kiss you. So he does, when you turn your head, kisses you at a pace which he hopes communicates whatever fucking feeling he has right now. Unfortunately, he has to pull away because he has something to confess, and you chase his lips cutely. “I love you so fucking much, ___. I probably should’ve told you this sooner, but fuck-- it’s been about two _years_ since I realized it, and who knows if I loved you even before that?” He pauses, watching your eyes get wetter before continuing, “And throw you under the bus? Babe, I am not some superior being to you. We’re in this together. We go down, we go down _together_. End of story.”

 

By the time he’s finished his outburst, his heart feels like it might be loud enough for you to hear, and a single tear drips out of your eye. It makes his chest even tighter, which does no good for his thumping heart which _clearly_ needs more room.

 

“ _Ugh_ , fuck--” You mutter and wipe away the stray tear that has fallen. Yoongi can barely think before you’re tugging him down and kissing the absolute daylights out of him.

 

But he just enjoys it, cups a hand around your cheek gently and sighs into your touch. “Oh,” You giggle and pull away abruptly, leaving him a bit breathless. “Are you still hard?”

 

_Oh no._

 

“Um, well,” He tries, shame coursing through him so fast that he can’t even begin to get the words out.

 

But he doesn’t have to, because your gaze is already dropping down to his crotch to see a very faint stain against his sweats and a very soft cock, still uncomfortably sticky inside.

 

“Oh, my god,” You gape, jaw dropped, amusement twinkling in your eyes. “You didn’t.”

 

Yoongi scoffs, or is it a whine? It’s a weird sound of rejection to the subject. He tries to roll away from you, but you’re immediately grabbing his shoulder and keeping him still.

 

“Aw, is my Yoongi blushing?” You tease and poke his arm. Yoongi groans out something inaudibly but you’re hushing him in a second. “Oh stop. Babe, it’s kind of hot, actually.”

 

(Yoongi likes how the term of endearment, “babe”, has starting coming from you after hearing it so many times from Yoongi himself)

 

Now it’s your turn to be bashful at the quirk of his eyebrow, the twitch in his lips.

 

“Oh don’t look so smug-- you know what, forget I said that,” You laugh with a roll of your eyes. Yoongi joins your laughter and finally pulls himself off of you.

 

* * *

 

Once you’re both cleaned up and redressed (and Yoongi gets one good grope of your ass before) you finally join the others in the middle of the jet.

 

When you’re passing the second row of recliners, turbulence strikes and you hit the side of the chair with it, awkwardly stumbling into poor Sejin. Like, all of your body weight resting against his side. He rips his earphones off in shock and you immediately straighten yourself with your cheeks ablaze, apologizing over the sound of Yoongi’s cackling. Sejin joins him, and so does everyone one else who saw the incident, making it all the greater for your embarrassment.

 

“Oh shut up,” You grumble playfully, and Yoongi knows how much willpower it must have taken you not to swear in front of the few staff littered in the back.

 

“You good,___-ah?” Hoseok peeks his little head into the isle, revealing his very round glasses and a teasing grin. He’s got cards in his hand, and across from him sits a very fluffy-looking Jimin doing the same.

 

“Peachy,” You chirp. It only makes his smile all the bigger. Yoongi has a sudden urge to wrap his arms around you from behind, and almost does, but he refrains and pops his fingers to keep him busy. Yoongi watches you make your way into the kitchen (a single counter top the size of a movie tray and a mini fridge) to get a snack so he plops himself in one of the empty chairs across from what appears to be a sleeping Seokjin.

 

Yoongi quietly slides open one of the windows and peers out at the clouds, and before he knows it, you’re handing him an American brand of chips that you know he likes. He honestly wasn’t even in the mood for them until you dropped them on his lap.

 

You lean over slightly, bending at the waist, and lightly nudge Jin awake. The eldest rises far too calm and looks at you in question, and damn, he looks tired.

 

“Go, sleep in the bed. You’ll get a stiff neck,” You added that last part when he looked like he was going to lazily dismiss the idea.

 

Seokjin grunts with the effort of getting up, but still does anyway, managing a soft thank you and a kiss to the side of your head as he slips into the isle.

 

It makes Yoongi smile.

 

In the early years, _god_ , it made him _so_ jealous. You and his hyung had such a strong relationship, and Yoongi wasn’t able to fathom why you’d act such a way with Jin and not him, why he couldn’t get to that point with you, what it would take to get there.

 

It eventually became clear that Seokjin really was a big brother to you, possibly even a bit of a father figure if you didn’t take so much care of him too.

 

But that wasn’t to say that Yoongi was _never_ jealous or possessive of how close you are with the other members. Especially when Jimin was feeling rather bold or Hoseok was being needy for your attention. And it was hard to be mad at you because you did anything and everything for these boys, including Yoongi. It’s just how you _are_ ; it’s part of your job. Yoongi just wishes he could leave marks for everyone to see or be able to kiss you in front of everyone, just to let it be known.

 

“You alright over there?” Your voice somewhat startles him from the seat beside his.

 

“Peachy,” He quips, repeating your line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ps: i'm really about to write a sugar daddy min yoongi x reader because i am so feeling it


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i'm sorry this took so long and it's not even a proper chapter, but i've had a bit of writer's block.
> 
> if you have any requests of smut of fluff or just little drabbles you want me to write involving this storyline and this coupling please don't be shy!! No request is weird or not worth my time! I want to start on them now, so i can publish them after the initial storyline.
> 
> thank you guys so much for sticking with me this far. i promise, the next chapter WILL be a proper one. in the meantime, drop some requests or feedback! i love to hear what my readers think and what they want <3

“So, let me get this straight: you get shitfaced and think it a good idea to stumble into _my_ room, on _my_ bed?”

 

Jungkook just lays there, unresponsive for several moments, and Yoongi has just huffed out a breath of defeat, sure the boy had passed out, when the youngest speaks up, voice gravelly and sleepy. “I was lookin’ for noona.”

 

At the mention, Yoongi’s gaze jumps to you, on the other side of the bed, surprised and disheveled.

 

Let me explain.

 

Only moments ago, the two of you were tucked into Yoongi’s bed soundly, for the second time. The first had been a fail, because it’d been days since Yoongi even laid his hands on you, so the second your body was pressed against his, his dick decided it didn’t want to sleep.

 

Thankfully, Jungkook had stumbled in _after_ this, drunk and throwing himself on Yoongi’s bed. The two of you had just enough time to hear Jungkook’s slurred calls of Yoongi’s name and “ _noona_ ” from down the hall, throw on enough to look decent and push yourselves from the sheets for Kook to take your spots.

 

“Why are you looking for me, gguk?” You decided to play along for now, since Yoongi was thoroughly aggravated and might snap at the boy for waking him up from his precious slumber. But the adrenaline of almost being caught was still coursing through his veins.

 

Jungkook hummed absentmindedly from his very comfy spot on Yoongi’s bed before replying, “Help me with somethin.”

 

Yoongi sighed out of his nose, ready to spit some strings of _“for fuck’s sake kid go to your own bed, some of us like sleep, you know?”_ but you held out a hand to stop him, so he restrained himself, bit his tongue.

 

“What do you need help with?” You asked softly, as to not rush his intoxicated brain. Yoongi could see the patience in your eyes, even in the dark lighting, even from across the room.

 

At this, the boy lifted his head and looked at you with heavy lids. “Song,” was all he said.

 

“Ah, okay, Kook. I’ll help you tomorrow, mkay?” You leaned over to catch his straying gaze, heavy with the temptation of sleep. Jungkook hummed from the back of his throat and nodded, starting to drop his head again. “Hey, this isn’t your bed, pabo. C’mon, Yoongi-ah is gonna help you into your room, yeah?”

 

You looked up at him and Yoongi just scoffed, shaking his head with a look on his face. You rolled your eyes and started tugging the youngest member off the bed, murmuring little encouragements. No wonder Jungkook acts like he’s still a teen, if this is how he’s treated!

 

“Here, gguk, let’s go to your own bed,” you said, letting him follow you out of the room. Yoongi let out a relieved breath as he sunk back into his own bed to be swallowed by sleep again, distantly hearing you take Kook down the hall to his room.

 

Yoongi knows it’s just Jungkook over-compensating for all the years he couldn’t drink, while watching all his hyungs do it. Now, when alcohol is involved, he likes to go all out.

 

You come back to bed a few minutes later, slide into the spot next to Yoongi. He doesn’t really care, you could be Jungkook, you could be Seokjin; he doesn’t even open his eyes to check before he’s wrapping his arms around you and burying his face in your neck.

 

“How do you _not_ yell at him,” Yoongi murmurs into your neck sleepily.

 

You chuckle very softly, carding your fingers through his hair, and Yoongi is about 60 seconds from sleep. “You have to have patience with _children_ , babe,” You joke, and Yoongi huffs out a laugh.

 

Some silence passes, and Yoongi’s about 20 seconds away when you speak softly, “Just go back to sleep.”

 

And as if you had reached behind him and flipped a switch, he’s cutting 20 seconds into 2, falling asleep with you pressed against him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi there, long time no see
> 
> as you can see, i have not abandoned this story, it is still very close to my heart. however, the next chapter will probably be the last, in terms of plot. but!! wait!! i have several drabbles that i'm in the process of writing, from smut to angst to just general peeks farther into the storyline. 
> 
> i really hope you guys are enjoying it so far. love you all xx

If Yoongi hadn’t spotted the reflection of your bobbing head in the black screen, he honestly didn’t think he would have noticed you.

You slithered into the conference room, head low and eyes lower to avoid drawing attention during a meeting you were not involved in.

Yoongi watched, unabashedly, as you leaned over to whisper something in Taehyung’s ear and then moved to Sejin to do the same. He couldn’t hear you, and you had covered the action with your hands, so all he could do was observe the look in your   
eyes. It was that look when you worked, professional and focused. It was a good look on you. It was hot.

But even hotter was your outfit choice for today.

Yoongi remembers you mentioning that you had to wear more than just casual attire for some meeting about a trainee workshop—he hadn’t really been listening. He was still sleepy from the sweet morning sex just moments ago, draped across his bed and drawing mindless patterns on your bare thigh while you slipped on the sweatshirt he’d worn the night before. He’d grunted something about wishing you didn’t slip out of bed so soon and made his way to the bathroom to get dressed for an early morning practice. He was out the door before you were dressed and besides, you had to wait for everyone to leave for practice before making your exit. Getting caught was not something you anticipated.

Now, the choice to not prepare himself had regret settling in his bones.

He supposes it isn’t too fancy, a very subtle dress, a touch more attention to your hair than usual, a dab of makeup that was a little on the rare side for you. And the dress… Your legs… wow.

The voice of the media director faded into white noise as Yoongi wondered how the actual fuck he was supposed to focus on anything with you looking like that. Now all he could think about was standing up, storming out, dragging you into his bed with bad intentions.

“Yoongi-ssi?” The voice of his staff member broke him out of his trance.

“Yes, I- uh, sorry,” He apologized clumsily. Yoongi could feel your eyes on him, could see you make your way out of the room from the corner of his eye.

The director paused a moment to make sure he wasn’t going to lose attention before continuing with his concerns on blah blah blah.

Yoongi’s mind was still with you and your body.  
  


* * *

 

When he had finally made it back to the dorms, surprisingly, you were standing next to his hyung in the kitchen, dicing tomatoes.

Neither of you noticed him coming in, both your backs to him.

So he takes the opportunity. Shoes still on, bag still hanging from his shoulder, door barely closed behind him. He just watches.

Seokjin is preparing something, Yoongi can’t tell what from this distance, and you’re cutting up tomatoes, shoulder to shoulder. There’s a peaceful silence, and then both of you are busting into laughter. Yoongi doesn’t know why, it could be some lame joke Jin made or the way you’re cutting the tomatoes, but it’s such a beautiful sound. It’s a beautiful sight, his hyung looking so content to have someone next to him in the kitchen, you looking just damn sweet, happy to be around and helping.

This is the stability that he had looked for all his life. When he was a kid and life was a little rocky, leaving him to his own defenses, this is what he had been craving. A home. He realizes now that with everything that has come with fame and money will never compare to this.

A house means nothing until there are people in it who you love and who love you.

And he does. Yoongi loves you, both of you, all his bandmates, a number of people that have been by his side all these years.

“Oh—Yoongi? What’re you doing? Come he—“

“I love you,” Yoongi blurts, interrupting you. Your actions come to a halt, knife halfway through a cherry tomato, eyes wide as Jupiter. Yoongi’s heart picks up pace when Seokjin freezes too, turning around slowly. He flickers his gaze to Yoongi, then to you, then back to Yoongi.

Nobody says anything.

With eyebrows high and eyes comically wide, Seokjin turns back to the pot in front of him.

“Um…” You begin, unsure.

“Yoongi-ah, come inside. You can help with cutting the vegetables,” His hyung calls over his shoulder, as if Yoongi had said nothing at all. But he did, didn’t he? He wouldn’t know by Seokjin’s demeanor, who oddly pretends that he hadn’t heard it.  
So, shooting you a glance, who just stares back as if to say “I have no idea either”, he kicks his shoes off and slides them into his spot, drops his bag in his room before coming back into the kitchen and joining you.

The rest of the members arrive just a bit later, just a few minutes before the food is really finished, so everyone decides to just hang around until it is.

Look, Yoongi at least has the decency to recognize that the staring is probably not appropriate, but goddamn.

You had yet to change and that dress was far too tempting.

Once everyone had settled at the table, Yoongi was genuinely exhausted from trying to pretend that he didn’t want to drag you down the hall and fuck you stupid. But he made brave and enjoyed the food he helped prepare.

He tried to listen to Taehyung explaining that he might be getting to work on a solo song instead of giving into the temptation of slipping his hand under your dress.

But when the food was eaten and it was acceptable for everyone to get up, Yoongi was already hauling you into his room with   
the excuse that he helped cook, so he shouldn’t have to clean.

The door clicked behind him with the lock, and then he was all over you. Before you could even ask him why he was being so weird he was kissing you hungrily, hands instinctively on your waist.

You at least made a squeak of surprise, hands slowly coming up to rest on Yoongi’s forearms, his hands cupping your jaw. But you had gotten somewhat used to this, Yoongi pulling you away randomly to flood your senses and demand your attention when you had the time. Which was becoming more and more rare, with a comeback around the corner.

“Yoo—“ You stutter against his mouth. It takes a few attempts before actually succeeding and pulling away completely. “A-Air is good, you know.”

Yoongi doesn’t comment. He just drops his head to the crook of your neck. You can feel him taking in the smell of your skin before the sensation of his lips forming syllables ghosts your neck. “What do you expect, looking like this?”

You can’t even think of how to respond before a jolt of pain shoots up your neck, your skin pulled between his teeth. Then he’s whispering, “Fuck, I really don’t mean to be that asshole, but… you made it very hard for me to care about anything else today, sweetheart.”

And you seem to be at a loss for words, but Yoongi doesn’t mind. He doesn’t need you to respond. He just needs you.

“Yoongi, are you insane?” You can feel his hands slithering up your thighs. “You know we cannot have sex here, I mean last night was risky enough—oh!”

Your voice catches when Yoongi, who is not really listening to your common sense, slips his hand under your dress and ghosts over your panties. Lace, he notes with a noticable feeling of tightness in his jeans.

“Y-Yoongi, _please_ , everyone is awake. They’ll hear—“Your please are cut short again when Yoongi pushes, punishingly, into your clit.

“Dammit,” He swears, and really, it’s just a raspy sound from the bottom of his throat. Had you really gotten him this worked up by wearing this stupid dress? “This is driving me crazy.”

You frown at that. You know it’s difficult. Never having much time alone, sometimes being too exhausted to show each other much attention, and when you do find yourselves needed affection, sexual or not, it’s never the right place or time.

“I know,” You say in a low voice that you hope is soothing, because you really think that if you don’t calm Yoongi down, he’ll fuck you right against this door. And you are weak-willed. “What if—“

“Hey, Yoongi, ___, you guys done getting your shit together? Seokjin needs you to take him to Hoseok’s studio,” Taehyung calls through the door, right on the other side. Your pulse jumps. Here you are, legs spread a bit, your dress bunched up where Yoongi still has his hands on your hips, back pressed tightly against the wood of the door. The door that Taehyung is literally just a foot away from.

“Uh… Can’t Sejin take him?” Thankfully, Yoongi has enough glue still holding him together to respond, pretending he isn’t already half-hard and pressing into you.

“No, Sejin is driving Jungkook to get his hair cut. And, ___?” Taehyung suddenly calls your name. “Hyung said to invite your shadow.”

You can hear the humor in his voice and it takes you a second to realize he’s refferring to Yoongi, making you snort, despite your still-lewd position. “Got it, Tae. Tell him we’ll be out in ten.”

Taehyung makes a sound of acknowledgement through the door before the sound of his fading footsteps can be heard.

“I’m going to kill all of them,” Yoongi says flatly, finally prying himself away from you.

You give him an amused scoff, pushing yourself off the door and bending over to pick up the bag you’d dropped when Yoongi ambushed you.

Then, a thought crosses Yoongi’s mind. “Do you think Jin want’s to talk about, you know, what I said earlier?”

Your face drops at that, seemingly catching on as well. “…Fuck.”  
  


* * *

 

“Bring back something good to eat later!"

That’s the last thing you hear from Taehyung before the door is bumping shut behind the three of you.

You lead the two idols to the car in the private parking garage, silently getting into the drivers seat as Yoongi slides into the passenger.

Logically, it’d make more sense for Jin to sit in the passenger seat, since he’s oldest. However, it’s already been made a habit that if you are driving, Yoongi is right there next to you.

You’ve barely peeled onto the road when Seokjin breaks the silence. “So, is nobody going to talk about Yoongi’s outburst?”

At the mere suspicious tone, Yoongi’s heart pounds. Would he tell Sejin? Or possibly farther than Sejin? Would he keep it a secret?

Is there any way to avoid this?

“What’s there to talk about,” You suddenly ask, eyes calm on the road in front of you. Yoongi thinks it’s better if he just keeps his mouth shut.

“ _Gee_ ,” Seokjin sighs dramatically, “I don’t know, you tell me.”

What the fuck is happening right now?

“Um, Yoongi told you he loves you?” Oh… _ohh_. “C’mon, are you trying to embarrass him?”

Yoongi doesn’t dare turn to look his hyung in the face and figure out what he’s thinking. He remains stone in his seat.

“Oh, come on—“

“I don’t know, Jinnie. You’re really starting to get old.”

Yoongi is purely in awe at your acting skills right now. How are you so calm, brushing it off like this? Fuck, Yoongi isn’t even really sure what _he_ heard anymore.

But one glance in the rearview mirror tells him that Seokjin is not so convinced.

He seems to drop it for now, 10 minutes of silence passing, and only 10 more until you’ve reached the building. Then he speaks up again, damning Yoongi.

“Listen,” the eldest begins, and here it comes. He’s about to deliver a speech. “Honestly, I’m not an idiot. I’m not even that surprised. Who is? Everyone is still convinced that there is something between you two, even if you’ve spent years denying it. I just want you guys to be real with me. I’m not going to go shouting it from the rooftops, but I’d like to be informed. This isn’t the safest working relationship, as convenient as it may be. You two let this get out to the younger members, or, god, Namjoon? ___, your career would be as good as gone.”

The silence was as chilly as his words. It’s the truth.

“I know.”

It goes quiet again, and Yoongi feels so, so guilty.

Why were you risking so much for him? This was your passion, your dream, Yoongi fucking knows because it’s his, too. He can’t imagine putting it on the line.

As disgusting as it is to admit, in the eyes of the company, Yoongi is irreplaceable. You are not.

He doesn’t have to risk his career, because he’ll keep it (almost) no matter what. The company won’t think twice about tossing you out.

“Then, be more careful, you idiots,” Seokjin grunts, somehow managing to make Yoongi crack a smile through all the tension.

“Tell that to Mr. Sharing Is Caring over here. He’s the one that outed us,” You defend, but your lips are quirked up still.

Yoongi’s nose scrunches in embarrassment. “Sorry… I don’t know what came over me.”

Jin hums in understanding. “So, how long have you guys been officially together?”

You’re first to answer, “Almost 5 months."

It seems like such a short amount of time for things to have gone this fast. But how can you take things slow when you know each other better than you know yourselves?

Seokjin makes a wierd sound. "What? Really? Come on, don't bullshit me. It must be at least a year or two now."

You glace at him through the mirror, pulling the car into the parking garage. "Nope, honest."

Seokjin looks over at Yoongi as if to confirm it before sighing in acceptance and swinging himself out of the car. The sound of three sets of footsteps can be heard echoing on the concrete as you make your way up to the building.

It's mostly silent as your trio strolls the halls to Hoseok's studio. Once you're finally in front of it, Jin offers you thanks for the ride before slipping inside to join Hobi in whatever they had planned.

Yoongi's already taking you by the hand when you start down the hall to his studio.

"You really think he isn't going to tell anybody," Yoongi asks you.

You hum with pursed lips. "No. There isn't much to worry about. Namjoon knows anyway."

"Wait what?" He freezes in his steps, a shocked expression on his face.

You turn to him now, a small smile forming. "Yeah, told him months ago, before we even confessed. I told him about my feelings for you." Upon Yoongi's scandalous expression, you explain further, an amused smile on your lips. "I was upset about Caye, remember that? I just kinda spilled it to him. He was the one who told me to go for it."

Yoongi remembers Namjoon telling him...

 

_“You were there?”_   
  
_“Yeah, I was there. I was the only one of the boys that was there, and somehow they all know about it. I just told him respectfully to leave and then came back over to ___ and she was starting to cry. I wasn’t sure what to say so I just pulled her aside, away from all the people that had gathered and just kinda sat with her. I hadn’t seen her that upset in years, not in front of me.” Namjoon quiets down when they pass some staff, the topic not exactly for anyone to hear._

_When the person has rounded the corner behind him he continues, “I told Jin that guy was weird, he fucking held the back of her neck when she introduced him to us, remember?” Yoongi remembers. And he remembers the older members, the only members that met him, being skeptical of him, too. But nothing could’ve foreshadowed something like that._

_“Did she talk to you about it?” Yoongi’s voice was a little unsteady but he was determined to get as much as he could because the dorms were literally around this corner._

_“Yeah, I mean, I don’t think I should repeat the conversation we had, but she was okay by the end of it all. She always is,” Namjoon sighs, already fishing out the dorm key._

 

"Oh my god, so Namjoon is _okay_ with us?" Why is he the only person that doesn't know what's going on, for fucks sake?

"Yeah, more or less. He said we've been good at not making it obvious. As long as it's kept low-key, he won't stick his head where it doesn't belong, his words. But he knows we aren't stupid. There is no way in hell the public would find out." You sigh heavily, "Said I'm the one risking my job, anyway."

And there it is again.

Yoongi will never get over that.

"Hey, no long faces," You suddenly say, eyes flickering over at Yoongi. He sighs. "C'mon, you better be in a good enough mood to finish what you started earlier. We're almost to your studio."

Okay, he can do that.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the final chapter...
> 
> angst warning mwahaha
> 
> i'm not quite sure why i wanted the last chapter to be angst with a happy ending but here we are

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can't believe i've reached 2k hits... wow... i am so grateful and i honestly don't know why people are enjoying my messy-ass-writing but it makes me so happy that i can create something that you guys have genuinely found interest in and spent time reading. do remember that this isn't the FINAL final chapter, i'm still taking requests for smut, angst, fluff, whatever kind of drabble you might want, just drop a comment and i'll be more than happy to write it
> 
> thank you if you've made it this far and if you've read this novel of an author's note, i hope you guys have found something in this. i love u all so much, xx

The fight comes in his studio.

You're asking him to take a break, to watch a short episode of this drama and just hang out with you. But he refuses, too consumed in his work and his knawing thoughts on how to fix this track before him.

"Please, Yoongi, literally just 10 minutes is all I'm asking for," You say across the room, waiting for him to just surrender.

But he doesn't. He doesn't even look in your direction.

"...Seriously? Come on, I need to talk to you about something. I haven't seen you in weeks."

Yoongi turns to you now, wearing a tired expression, as if you were a petulant child. "I'm just in the middle of something, okay? Can't it wait?"

He knows he should be more sensetive with you because you aren't being unreasonable and you're already getting frustrated but he doesn't think. And if he looks closer, he almost wants to say you look sad but it's hard to tell and Yoongi is jaded.

"No," You reply, bluntly, flatly.

"Really, ___? So I'm just supposed to put everything on hold and be at your beck and call," He asks, head still caught in the heavy focus of his work.

Your eyes narrow at him and usually he'd cower at this, realize his mistake, and backpedal. Now, it's only pissing him off more. He just wants to goddamn work in peace.

A part of him knows he's being irrational, but the other part, the dumb one, is clinging on reasons to defend him.

You scoff, "Don't you think I deserve 10 minutes?"

"Oh for fucks sake," He strains. "Here we go. _Please_ , proceed to make everything about you."

Yoongi is already turning away from you in his chair, saving and closing his programs. He's too mad to do anything with them now, and the thought only adds fuel to his fire.

He can hear your voice behind him when you say, "Are you kidding? I come to your studio all the time to just fucking check on  _you._ "

Yoongi whips around to you. "I'm doing great," He yells sarcastically. "Would've been a lot better if you knew when to butt out."

He can tell that one hits, the way your face falls immidiately. Then, your voice goes soft and Yoongi should know. He should face the fact that that means you're serious. "You can be so selfish sometimes, you know that?"

You turn away from him, as if preparing to storm out. Yoongi ignores the feeling sinking in his chest and masks it with anger. "If I inconvenience you so much, then just fuck off," He spits, aggressively snatching up his bag from the floor.

Now you seem to actually be mad, turning back around to face him and hurt resting in the pit of your eyes. Yoongi almost wants to back down. Almost. "What the fuck has gotten into you? You understand this is what happens when you work nonstop like you have been?" You watch slight confusion flash in Yoongi's eyes and continue, "Yeah, Joon told me how you've cooped yourself up while I've been away and I j--"

He interrupts you, exhasperated. "Who gives a fuck?! I don't need you lecturing me on how to live! Pretty sure I've been doing it own my own for quite a while." He doesn't really know what he's talking about anymore, why exactly he's so mad, but he's spitting out words on autopilot.

 

" _I_ give a fuck!" You're raising your voice now, something he's rarely seen you do. Yoongi keeps his gaze averted and feigns disinterest as you speak. "That's kinda why I'm here, asshole."

"Good for you. You know what also matters? What _I_ want, and that is some fucking space," He mumbles before finally storming out, leaving you behind. Anger is pulsing at him, even though he can't really pinpoint why, logically, that he got mad in the first place.  


* * *

 

It's the next couple of days that make Yoongi realize he must have fucked up. Neither of you speak, not really, and you just pretend he isn't there.

He can't remember what he said exactly, but being blatantly ignored is really starting to make him irritable.

It's the day after a concept shoot, and for whatever reason, Yoongi finds you to be around when they're doing second takes with the details tinkered. He's not needed at the moment, so he lingers in the background instead of going for the break room.

Maybe it's the way that the lighting is literally perfect in here, maybe it's the sudden calmness of the moment, but Yoongi is suddenly really noticing you.

You've got dark bags around your eyes and your skin looks kinda puffy, as if you just woke up, but it doesn't seem natural.

He finds time to pull you into a deserted, far-back hall, and you were so reluctant he honestly thought you were going to refuse to talk to him.

"What?" You ask, and it's more tired than anything.

"Um, everything ok? You look rough," He says flatly, and kicks himself for it. Why can't he just be straightforward, tell you he misses you?

Tell you he's sorry lingers in his head, but he pushes it away. He doesn't think he's ready to say sorry, as childish as it may be.

"No, everything's not ok, my boyfriend is an ass. Thanks," You mutter, turning to walk away, and Yoongi wants to reach out and stop you, but he finds himself watching your receding figure instead.  


* * *

 

Yoongi wants to at least say something before they leave for some performances overseas, because it's going to be a month before they get back, but he can't seem to find you around, and you aren't answering his texts. So he shoots you one more, the distant shell of a farewell before leaving for the airport.

And it kinda sucks. A lot.

Yoongi is a professional, so pretending to be completely 100% fine when he feels like shit is something he can do easily when he's on stage. But then when he's laying in his hotel room, Jungkook's faint snoring and the annoying hum of the AC driving into his ears, he sinks.

He misses you. He really does. And for the hundredth time tonight, he checks his phone. And just like all 100, there's nothing new.

He's ready to say he's sorry and mean it.

* * *

 

When they're finally back in Korea (longest month of his life) Yoongi seeks you out. He calls you, but you don't pick up. So, with Sejin's direction, he finds you in his studio. Wrapped in a blanket, clutter everywhere. You don't look good, you don't look like yourself. You're skinnier, noticeably so. And pale, and your skin is bloated, lips are chapped. And you're breathing very heavily, and Yoongi's chest feels like it could cave in.

It's probably a head cold, and Yoongi hates to disturb your rest, but he can't help it.

He gently shakes you awake, allowing himself a private smile at your sleepy frown. Eventually your eyes inch open, glassy and a little red, and suddenly he wishes he'd let you keep sleeping.

"Hey..." He whispers. You seem pretty confused, but he's not bothered by it. "I'm sorry," He blurts. "I miss you and I was a selfish jerk and if you'll let me, I'd really like to take care of you."

And his heart finally starts to slow down at the beginnings of a smile on your sickened face. "It's okay. I missed you too. And I'm sorry. My mom was just in the hospital when all that happened and I was already on edge."

Now Yoongi's heart is really slamming against his chest. " _What_? Your mom was in the hospital? What happened?"

However, you just purse your lips and shake your head. "Later. Just take care of me for now."

Yoongi smiles, and before he can resist and think better of it, he leans down presses a soft kiss to your lips.

"You're gonna get sick," You whisper into it, but Yoongi doesn't care.

"Worth it," He quips cheesily. A silence falls while Yoongi absently but tenderly combs a hand through your hair, and then he says softly, "I love you."

A smile tugs at your mouth. "A horrible decision, really."

He laughs at that, kissing your forehead as you murmur, "But I love you too, you idiot."

It gets rough sometimes; it's hard to maintain a relationship in this line of work, with all eyes on Yoongi, fights come and go.

But Yoongi will always love you, more than you could dare to imagine. And there's nobody he wants to have old married couple fights with other than you.

So, with a sigh that feigns boredom, he stands up and tucks you in, wondering how he got so lucky.


	9. Drabble #1: What conversation did Namjoon and reader have?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What did reader and Namjoon say exactly after her ex-boyfriend made an unwelcomed visit?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have a lot of planned drabbles that i've been cooking up, but i'm not going to take requests for much longer. i want to have this fic finished or at least have the amount of additional chapters i'm going to have up for you guys to see.
> 
> basically, if you have any requests, smut, angst, fluff, crack, whatever, please don't be shy because soon i won't take them. 
> 
> i love you guys so much, if you're still sticking with me. xoxo

  
You barely had the time to let a tear fall before Namjoon was tugging you away from the hallway, an arm around you protectively after he had made Caye back off. The tears were falling, thankfully away from everyones sight but Namjoon's. The humility and hurt, as well as the shock, just stirred inside you until they were pushing out in the form of hot tears.

When Namjoon pulled you into him, your head pressing into his chest, his hand smoothing down the back of your head, it just made you cry more. You were grateful for his comfort and for the fact that he wasn't making you speak or look at him in the eyes while you were crying so much.

"It's okay," He murmured, the vibrations of it felt against your cheek, which you kept pressed against him. And it was admittedly comforting, the way he just held you wordlessly, it even reminded you of Yoongi in some ways. The thought made your chest warm, despite the trails of tears that were still not dry.

You wanted to listen to Namjoon in his kind words, even if they were an empty, practiced response. You wanted to feel like it was going to be okay, but it wasn't. Everything was fucked.

"Everything's fucked now," You sniffled, voice wavering. You made no move to back away from Namjoon. The contact was the only thing keeping you grounded.

"___," He called in a chiding tone. "I know you liked him, and I'll pretend I understand why, but come on. If that's how he acts, even in a professional space, you are much better off."

You scoffed, though it died off at the end. There was a war within you, the two sides battling for which made you feel worse: the one that began a relationship with Caye when you didn't really like him, and the other, which is so desperately in love with Yoongi, someone who is very much out of reach.

"It's not his fault," You said finally, voice shaky like a lost child. "It's mine. I told myself I liked him, and I-I... I don't, at all. I love someone else, and I can't have him either. I put myself in this situation, Joon," You sighed. "It sucks, too."

Namjoon slowly released you from him with a frown on his face. He held you by the shoulders, looking into your red eyes questioningly. "So, let me get this straight. You didn't really like Caye?" You nodded. "Good. Now I don't feel so bad about absolutely hating him."

The stern voice he said it in had you cracking a small smile, even under the circumstances. It felt good to know that after the man had embarrassed you like he did.

"You know, everything is not _fucked_. You're in love with someone, huh?" Namjoon stepped back and leaned against the wall and you did the same to a counter behind you.

"Yeah." The tears had dried and left stains after you hadn't bothered to wipe them off.

"Who is it," He asked, genuine curiosity in his voice.

You shot him a look. "I can't tell you."

Namjoon just rolled his eyes at that. "Alright, fine. It's just, you've never mentioned being in love with anyone before. How long have you loved him?"

Oh. Well, that's a hard question. You thought about it hard. When did it start? It's been a long time, long enough that you feel like it runs forever, like you never existed without holding love for Yoongi. It has to have been at least years now, hasn't it? Your lips are noticeably chapped, you realize.

"I don't know," You say finally. You're not used to talking with Namjoon like this. He's so patient, waiting as long as you need to answer such a simple (not) question. Yoongi would be encouraging you to get on with it by now. Why does he keep popping into your head? "A long time."

Namjoon hums thoughtfully, his eyes still on you, like he's trying to figure you out or something. "And why can't you have him? What's stopping you?"

This is the part where you have to get creative in rephrasing your response. The last thing you would want to do is expose yourself. The members have enough suspicion as it is. "Um, well, he just sees me as a friend. And it's just not really... convenient, I guess."

Namjoon raised a brow at you. "He could like you too."

"Pfft," You snorted. "Please."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Oh, Yoongi could get anyone--" You stopped, gasping, halting in your tracks.

_Oh my god oh mygod ohmygodohmygod-_

Namjoon was just staring back at you with his eyebrows reaching for his hairline, not saying anything, so you stammered and stuttered.

"Um, w-what I meant..." Oh fuck oh fuck, this is it. You're going to get fired and that'll be the end of your career, Namjoons gonna spit on you and people are going to throw rotten tomatoes at you as you leave with your things--

"___, if you think I didn't know, I'm insulted," He chuckled.

Wait, he's not going to yell at you? Or tell you he's sorry and that he can't allow this, all the things you fear when you lay awake at night?

"Y-You knew?" Your eyes were still wide, hands unsteady as they braced your body against the counter.

Namjoon just nodded, looked so calm, like this wasn't something he should most definitely fire you for. It made you want to be calm, but you were still freaking out a little, you couldn't help it. "I actually didn't know for sure, but it's obvious there is something there. And seriously, you think Yoongi doesn't love you? The man practically makes heart eyes every time he sees you."

What? Yoongi? No, that doesn't sound right. You would notice something like that. "I don't know about that."

Namjoon sighed. He pushed himself off the wall and shuffled up to you before speaking softly, "I know I should be more worried about this, but the truth is, I'm not. You and Yoongi really are the kind of thing we write about, the stuff that teenagers dream about. I mean, sure, you guys have some rough edges," He said, causing a small huff of laughter to escape you in acknowledgement. "but if there's a chance there, you should go for it."

"Wait so," You tilted your head up at him, a skeptical look on your face. "you're telling me to tell Yoongi I love him, as the leader of bangtan?" You paused, but not long enough for Namjoon to answer your rhetorical question. "Aren't I the sort of thing that you're supposed to, like, hate?"

You aren't sure what it was exactly that you said, but it had Namjoon truly laughing, and the sound made you feel better. You were still trying to comprehend all of this. Namjoon smiled, "Maybe, according to the company. But you've managed to avoid exposure for years now, when you've already acted like a couple. It's not up to me if you want to risk your career for this, and I know you're smart and you've been doing this long enough to keep Yoongi out of the line of fire."

You found your eyes watering at this. Namjoon put so much trust in you, and he seems to believe you've earned it. It feels good. Validating.

"Thank you, Namjoon," You said softly, trying to look at him through your teary eyes. His blurry figure smiled and pulled you into another hug.

"Of course, ___."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soft for namjoon hours :(


	10. Drabble #2: What happened when reader found out about the diet?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the longer wait for this chapter
> 
> this is the LAST chance if you wanna request any drabbles. by the time i post the next chapter, i won't be taking any more.
> 
> also, my friend mentioned that i tend to really define the reader in my stories and that it's not very relatable. if you struggle with this, then remember: the reader is as much of a character as, say, Yoongi is. you become the character, not relate with it.
> 
> i'm having fun with this story and i love u all! xx
> 
> (this chapter is unedited since i just wanted to get it out and i've been busy, so apologies for any grammar errors or spelling mistakes)

"No thank you, noona. I'm not hungry."

That's what you had heard for the millionth time this month. Jimin just sat in the background, watching everyone eat around the table. Seokjin took the liberty of making sure everyone else ate, but didn't seem to eat anything himself. Yoongi picked at his food like a child.

It would've been comical, how obvious it was, if it weren't for the simple fact that they weren't eating, and they hadn't been for weeks. You knew it wasn't particulary your place as a staff member to mention something fairly private; these were stressful times for the members. It wasn't like you didn't understand, you just knew that the lack of nutrition was starting to show, and something had to give.

But you didn't say anything, you kept your distance, eating alongside the members and being as patient as possible.

You looked up when you felt eyes on you, finding Jungkook staring back. He averted his eyes as soon as they met with yours, the bridge of his nose blushing cutely.

It wasnt exactly that Jungkook was terrified of girls, no, you didn't want to put it that way. He just lacked the confidence and he was... well... kinda terrified of girls.

You didn't particularly know why he wasn't sure of himself. Sure, 16 and a little scrawny with a baby face, but he was an amazing kid, inside and out. His hair could use a change, perhaps something that made him less of a cocounut boy. But he had that adorable smile, the crease above and below his eyes, and a noticeably kind heart.

Seokjin excused himself barely ten minutes into the meal, and while Jimin and Yoongi stayed, they didn't properly consume anything either. It was all you could think about, as you ate the food before you, wondering if it was just the stress of things, or perhaps something else. Everyone else was eating properly, it was just those three that weren't.

It was no secret that you were very fond of the members. You felt a strong need to be protective of them, because while they were very important to the company, the company was also important to them. The kind of people who work until they can't anymore, that are kind and respectful, that don't push things, are the kind of people that get taken advantage of, and not just in this line of work.

You had already worked with them for a while now, and you could practically feel the talent radiate from them. Unfortunately, this industry does not favor slack, and you were familiar with that truth. You just felt as though you owed it to the members to make sure that they weren't getting used up more than they had to.

So, over the quiet lunch, you decided you would at least go and see Jimin later at the dance studio. You already knew the boy faced some confidence issues, the way he picked himself apart and listened to all the things that were "wrong" with him until that was all he cared about. Even a year into the group, the members were still not very close behind the cameras, so you decided that maybe Jimin could use someone outside of that to talk to. If not, you at least wanted to remind Jimin that if he's going to make any progress, robbing himself of nutrition is not going to help him get there any faster.

And so, two hours later, you closed in on the dance studio, strolling down the halls in an untimed effort. But as you reached the fork in the hallway, you could clearly hear someone retching in the men's bathroom. It was unsettling, but you weren't sure exactly who it was, so you made for the studio. When you opened the door and found it empty, a feeling akin to panic settled in your stomach.

You made your way back to the bathroom, where it had now gone silent, at least for a moment.

"Hello," You called through the wood. "Are you alright?"

There wasn't an answer for several long moments, and it made you nervous, question if they had already left, but finally a familiar voice called back, "Y-Yeah."

"Jimin?" There was no way you could not recognize his, or any of the other members, voice. The amount of hours spent recording back then... "Can I come in?"

There was a short silence, and just when you felt like he was going to reply, you heard more hurling through the door. You just decided fuck it, I know I wouldn't want to sit alone, throwing up into a toilet, knowing someone was on the other side of the door.

You pushed the door open and felt your heart seize up at the sight of Jimin, resting his panting figure against the wall, legs folded around him on the tile. You were sinking down to him before he even realized you were there, a hand rubbing down his back. To your lack of surprise, there wasn't much that he was throwing up. It was more of a hacking, his stomach trying to give up something he didn't have.

"It's okay, Jiminie, you're okay," You said softly in a moment of silence. Jimin leaned back, away from the toilet. That's when you noticed the tears that streamed his cheeks.

With a permanent frown, you wiped them away with your thumb in a way that was oddly motherly. It only seemed to make Jimin tear up more, his lip quivering. It made you want to put a bubble around him and keep him warm, safe from anything that might hurt this precious boy.

You pulled yourself away from him and grabbed a rag from under the sink. With the wet cloth, you lowered yourself back down to the floor, your heels digging into your backside. "Hey, look at me for a second," You instructed, but you were already reaching out and stretching a palm over his cheek to turn his head in your direction.

You didn't know where this maternal instinct was coming from, but Jimin seemed grateful. You had truly grown to care for these boys, and you had a strong feeling that something was very wrong. Jimin was still crying.

After you had Jimin's attention, you raised the rag to gently, briefly wipe the corner of his mouth before folding it to a clean side and bringing his hand up to hold it to his face. He took it, pressing it to his cheek, and you let your hand fall away from him.

"What's going on, huh?" Thankfully, Jimin's stomach seemed to relent, whether it was just for now or not you couldn't tell. "I mean, you're not eating, and now you're getting sick?"

Jimin had a different look in his eyes, one you'd never seen before. It wasn't guarded and distant, he wasn't worrying about how people were looking at him. For the first time, he seemed like he had let down his walls. "I-It's just a part of the diet, it's normal to get sick. I don't mean to worry you. I need this, I need to get in shape."

So many thoughts whirred inside you, you didn't know how to separate them. You had questions about every single thing he just said. "Jimin, what diet?"

Jimin sniffled, wiping his nose on the rag. "The one that Mr. Ahn made. And that other guy. They said I might get sick, but it's normal."

Mr. Ahn? Who the hell is Mr. Ahn?

Wait... "You mean, those guys Hitman Bang knows?" Jimin nodded his head, eyes red and cast down.

You felt anger shoot through you, but just as it came, you let it go. You would deal with that later.

"They told you to do this diet?" Jimin nodded again, looking like an injured child.

"Me, Yoongi, n' Jin-hyung," He said, voice shaky from his tears, scratchy from throwing up.

You sighed heavily, "Jimin, look at me." He listened, eyes flickering up to yours. They were red and glassy. Tired. "They don't know what they're doing. You saw the shape their idols are in. You don't need a diet--"

"Okay, except I do," Jimin suddenly snapped. His eyes started flooding again. "Why would they say something if I looked perfectly fine? Everyone notices, especially me. It's impossible to not notice! All the other members are so skinny, and I'm just not. They had a fucking point."

Without being able to help it, you found your own eyes watering. It wasn't surprising, per say, that Jimin thought of himself like this. It was a little new to hear him curse, especially towards you, though. He's always had these confidence issues, little insecurities peeking out here and there. It just hurt to see someone with such a bright soul tear themself down to what they think other people see.

"You listen to me," You said, tone serious, in a way that it's never been with him or any of the members. It almost sounded angry, but your words held no malice. "You are amazing. If anyone gets the idea that you are anything but what you're supposed to be, then it's because you're pointing it out and making it obvious. Those guys? They have some bullshit definition of what beauty and perfection is. They like to tell other people how they're supposed to look. They don't even know the amazing guy we do.

"It is not worth it to live like this, Jiminie. You deserve to be comfortable and happy. And I swear to you, I am going to yell at those fuckers until I'm blue in the face, even if it gets me fired."

By the time you had finished your speech, Jimin had let a few more tears stream the drying paths on his cheeks, looking at you almost like you were an alien. As if nobody had taken the time to try and lift his spirits before, even though they have. You didn't quite hit all the points that you wanted to hit, but your thoughts were restless and tangled. There were so many things you wanted to say, do, decide.

Jimin didn't offer a verbal response, since he seemed to be at a loss for words. Instead, he leaned forward and wrapped you into a hug that he put a lot of emotion in. You could just feel it, the words he couldn't quite form, and you honestly thought that if you lost your job over stopping this train, you'd be fine with it. From this moment alone, you knew you were fighting for the right cause.  
  


* * *

 

Obviously, this was a delicate situation. If you handled it wrong, you could lose your job, or get the boys in trouble. You knew it wasn't something that you could just expect to be fixed if you voiced it.

So, naturally, you found yourself practically stomping up to the two men in question. After you had talked to Seokjin and Yoongi, which was another emotional affair altogether, you had tried to get in a meeting with Hitman bang. Unfortunately, these were busy times, and he never seemed to have an opening.

Since that was the case, you decided to go straight for the source. The puppet masters.

"Excuse me, Mr. Ahn?" You had spoken over Yoongi, who was trailing behind you and trying to get you to 'see reason'. Nothing about this was reasonable.

The taller man, with charcoal hair and matching suit, turned his attention to you. He held a cup of coffee in his hand and a tired expression on his face. "Yes?" He furrowed his brows, as if nobody has ever approached him before.

"Who do you think you are," You had blurted before you could think better of it. Well, it seems like you're just going in, then. No point in beating around the bush, you guess.

Mr. Ahn seemed to take you seriously then, flicking his gaze between you and your shadow, Yoongi, with stunned confusion.

Yoongi didn't even try to insert himself into the conversation. He stayed slightly behind you, like a child who has told on another kid and is watching his mom scold them.

You briefly wonder exactly what was said to make Yoongi retract from these men like he was.

"I'm sorry?" The man next to Mr. Ahn spoke up in their confusion, leaning forward as if he had actually heard you wrong.

"You will be," You quipped, arms crossing in front of you. Then, you laid into them, properly.

The problem was settled in a matter of hours.


	11. Drabble #3: What happened when reader and Yoongi got back to his studio?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Literally just smut and a fluffy end for this one, set in the middle of chapter 4 after Yoongi and reader get back from their date and go to Yoongi's studio, since Taehyung was at the dorms. i've realized, belatedly, it seems a little out of place so i'm sorry if you have to look back at chapter 4 to gain better context or mood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, i know, feel free to scream at me!!
> 
> guys, i'm so sorry for not publishing anything for this fic for this long. so many things just literally came up at me and i've actually been too busy to write much. school has been taking up all of my time and i've had like several auditions that i've been preparing monologues for, i've been working on a lot of my music and getting my crap together for this recording arts school-- it's been a lot
> 
> but i'm managing my time better!! i haven't given up, i promise. i'm trying to set aside time where i can write properly and i've come up with a few ideas for additional fics if you're interested in that at all, so stay tuned. i also hope this chapter doesn't feel rushed or forced. it's like, a little over 2,000 words i think. my writing style literally changes every day but whats new. and please leave me feedback because i most likely wouldn't find motivation if it weren't for you guys, whether you tell me i need to fix something or if you enjoyed it
> 
> anyways, thank you if you read my messy ass apology/explanation. i hope you enjoy this chapter, i was feeling especially lonely when i wrote it because i crave affection 24/7

There’s something to be said about how quickly the mood changed once both you and Yoongi made it into the studio.

 

Yoongi came in, dropped his bag on the couch, sat in his chair on reflex, and swiveled to face you. As if he had no other choice, he found his eyes wandering up and down your body, helplessly fixed on your ass as you bent over to plug up your phone.

 

You saw him, of course. Truthfully, you were a little surprised he hadn’t pounced the moment you walked through the door. He was too.

 

Yoongi didn’t even avert his eyes from your thighs as you turned around until you cleared your throat obviously. You were grinning, and Yoongi loves when you look like this. Prideful. Not that he’d seen it very often.

 

“You want something?” Your voice came, along with a challenging quirk of a brow.

 

There was nothing to stop the smirk that stretched across his lips. Eyes looking up at you through his lashes, he purred, “I think you’re well aware, darling.”

 

You snorted then, crossing your arms and staring him down. “You owe me an apology for leaving me out in the hallway alone. That was embarrassing,” You pouted. It would have made Yoongi coo on the spot if it wasn’t filled with dangerous intent.

 

“How can I _ever_ gain your forgiveness,” he spoke, carefully and properly to better prompt whatever you had in mind. Played along.

 

You feigned contemplation with a tilt of your head and a soft hum as you strode closer to him, slow and calculated.

 

Yoongi braced himself, arms flopping outwards in preparation of you coming to sit on his lap, but was greatly surprised-- and pleased –when you sunk down to your knees. In his slouched position, he spread his legs further for you to fit. “I’m sure we can work something out,” you said, nonchalant even as you slid your hand up his thigh, over his jeans.

 

Yoongi knew-- you were aware of just what you were doing. You knew how to ruin him just as much, if not more, as he knew how to ruin you.

 

And he _wanted_ you to do it.

 

The thought of you dragging him over the edge of bliss by your own accord makes him wholly satisfied and eager.

 

“Then by all means,” he laughed a little, unable to keep it in as he watched the hungry way you stared below his belt. He gestured to his lap. “I can’t have my beautiful girlfriend resenting me.”

 

You glanced up at that, tonguing your cheek as if you were about to slap him. Thankfully, you didn’t, and instead, gripped the thick material of his belt.

 

You undid it expertly, now having much practice since oddly, Yoongi wears a lot of belts lately. You didn’t bother pulling it out of the loops before slowly unbuttoning his jeans. Then the zipper, pulling the flaps of the black fabric out of the way to examine the way he was already pressing against his boxers a bit. It made you swell with a sense of achievement from the effect you always seemed to have on him.

 

Exhaling steadily, Yoongi watched you lean forward and run your tongue, slow and warm, up the outline of his dick through his boxers. He moaned loudly before he could help it, head tilting back a bit. Clearly, you were just diving right in. But there wasn’t really a need for foreplay, since just the thought of you anywhere near his crotch is enough to get him going.

 

But, god, you haven’t even kissed. Yoongi loves it; you’re obviously eager, though you don’t show it on your face. He’s fully hard now, there’s no denying it. You’d barely even _done_ anything.

 

You pull your tongue back into your mouth, staring Yoongi in the eyes. The absence of the wet warmth leaves a tingling sensation where your saliva on his boxers meets the open air. “What has gotten into you, hm?” He tilts his head at you, even while his voice is breathy and a little shaky. Tries to act composed. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were _anxious_ ,” he murmurs, challenging you with his eyes.

 

You, however, just smile, reach your hand farther up to grip his boxers and jeans, pull them down far enough that his cock is exposed. You pull it out the rest of the way as you retort, “I’m anxious to shut you up.”

 

Then your tongue is on him, darting out and pressing against the head. Yoongi completely loses what you had said and takes a sharp inhale, tightening his lips in a thin line as he tries to keep himself in one piece. Tentatively, his hand raises to sweep your hair away from your face, then rests his fingers in the strands. Not pulling or tugging, just there. You’d think it was impossible for him to be gentle when all he wants to do is jerk his hips up into your mouth.

 

You lean forward so that you’re hunched over his lap with better access. Abruptly, without warning, you part your lips and take him down to the base. “Oh, shit--” Yoongi blurts out, teeth digging into his lip when you hollow your cheeks. He has to throw his head back for a few moments, breathing gone irregular. The muscles of his thighs clench under your hand.

 

Slowly, you drag the wet, hot suction up the length of him until you’re pulling off with an actual _pop_ sound. Yoongi makes a small noise in the back of his throat.

 

“Yoongi,” you call, voice a little airy but otherwise unfairly controlled.

 

“Yeah, sweetheart,” He replies, lifting his head up to look at you again, admiring the way you gently silk your fingers over his erection.

 

You’re amused when you hum, “Eyes on me.”

 

With a hard swallow, Yoongi nods. Truthfully, the turn in attitude is definitely doing something for him. He doesn’t know quite where it came from, but he doesn’t really care all that much. He has a sudden desire to feel like putty in this chair, under your hands, your mouth.

 

With his gaze trained on you, just like you ordered, you duck back down again. Licking a thick stripe up his dick, your hand that isn’t holding him in place sneaks down to rub curiously over his balls.

 

“Fucking--” Yoongi begins, cutting himself off with a _whine_. Subconsciously, his head begins to loll back, but you’re adamant. You press your thumb into his balls and pull your mouth away, just for a second, while he regathers himself and looks back at you.

 

Once his attention is solely on you, you are back at it. It’s so hot, so _fucking_ hot he can’t think straight, feels his cock twitch lewdly against your lips. He can see the way the corner of your lips quirk up as you slide him into your mouth again.

 

Yoongi watches the sides of your cheeks hollow a second time as he moans from the corresponding feeling it gives him. He fights with his body to keep himself from bucking up into the feeling of you, wet and warm, wrapped around him.

 

He’s breathing heavily, helplessly watching your stretched lips, when he feels you push out your tongue. Then you take him as far as possible, and swallow.

 

“Holy _fuck_ ,” He exclaims, shooting up and gripping your hair. He’s throbbing, hot and heavy, in your throat, as he feels the wet muscles there contract and the suction practically pulling the life out of him.

 

You don’t seem to mind his outburst; apparently it spurs you on, and you swallow twice more, throat surely burning and salivating from your gag reflex. He doesn't know how you aren't choking, coughing, gagging, fucking dying of a lack of oxygen. Yoongi is no stranger to experimentation-- he's sucked a dick before himself, knows how difficult this is. But that's another story.

 

Yoongi is on the brink of writhing, squirming in his chair as his stomach muscles clench and unclench. He doesn’t want to cum yet. It’d be embarrassing. You hadn’t even set a steady rhythm on him, but holy fuck, if you kept doing that he was going to spill down your throat in an instant.

 

Thankfully, you have to relent to finally cough and splutter, taking in gulps of breath. “ _God_ , shit-- you’re amazing, truly one of a kind, babe,” He breathes, laughing at himself as he fondly runs a hand over your head. Your commitment and exertion is definitely admirable. He catches a glimpse of how hot and heavy you’ve made him, the tip of his cock an angry red, irate and impatient.

 

You smile up at him, looking a little dazed. There are spots of drool gathered at the corners of your mouth and your eyes a little teary. You look absolutely, “Gorgeous.”

 

You roll your eyes at him, sniffling before your mouth is on him again, a desperate attempt to hide your embarrassment. He never fails to leave you speechless and flattered. You drop your head back down.

 

You trace wicked patters with your tongue on the underside of his cock before you set a pace, bobbing your head up and down, up and down. Yoongi moans continuously, unable to even think about sparing his pride. He grips the sides of his chair instead of your head because he’s too afraid he’ll just lose all control and fuck himself down your throat.

 

Watching the way you blink up at him, the shine of your saliva on your lips against the lighting, he rasps, “Y-You-- _dammit_ , you’re killing me, babe. Look at you. Fucking beautiful.”

 

And Yoongi is looking. It’s hard to tell whether it’s because you told him to or if it’s from the inability to look away. He’s rambling, losing track of what he’s saying, mixed curses of your name, _yes, fuck, just like that, sweetheart, you’re doing so well._

 

His words are clearly getting to you-- no surprise there -–as you start moaning, softly, every so often, and Yoongi is a mess. He’s shuddering a little, head swimming, cheeks hot. He’s close, he can feel it as he whispers filth and uses all his strength to keep himself from wrenching his cock forward.

 

“Fucking hell, ___, I’m gonna— _cum_ ,” Yoongi manages to grit out. He can taste blood in his mouth, metallic and bitter, from where he clamped down too hard on his bottom lip and broke the soft skin.

 

You don’t pull off, don’t slow down or relent in any way. Instead, you hum around him, sucking him down with renewed vigor.

 

He can feel himself slipping, very slightly rolling his hips up as he pants your name. Then, you do the unthinkable, and slide him down into your throat. You swallow two or three times, tears squeezing their way out of your eyes.

 

“Oh my _fuck_ \--” It’s the end of Yoongi. He moans, long and drawn out, before cutting off into a silent scream. His gut clenches tight as the first spurt of warm cum hits the back of your throat. You do choke then, but make no move to pull off and it has Yoongi cumming the rest of the way. Soft, wet, warm, he spills down your throat with actual tears pricking the corners of his eyes.

 

Yoongi’s practically panting as he comes down, heartbeat beginning to slow now. You pull of him gently, apparently having swallowed his cum, which is a whole other thing that Yoongi wants to think about. But right now, all he can focus on is you, how you make him feel, the dopamine and Oxytocin in his brain releasing. He’s smitten and satisfied.

 

“C’mere,” He murmurs, dragging you up to him. He sees you smile a bit before he kisses you, slow and passionate. He can’t help but moan into your mouth contently.

 

You kiss for a long while, Yoongi pulling you up further to sit in his lap after he tucks himself back into his jeans so he can wrap his arms around you, feel you close. He finally pulls away to comb his fingers through your hair and say, sugary and serious, “I love you.”

 

You smile again, eyelids falling shut as he kisses the tear stains down your cheeks and his hand soothes your scalp. “Man, blowjobs really make you happy, huh?” Of course you can’t help but tease him.

 

“ _You_ make me happy,” Yoongi corrects. He laughs when you shove his shoulder and scoff, but he sees the way you fight back a smile and your cheeks go a little darker.

 

“God, you’re so _cheesy_. I just sucked your soul out through your dick and you’re still at it,” you groan, but you both know you love it.

 

Yoongi grins. “Of course. And you really did suck the soul out of me. I think I might need a refraction period of a day,” he chuckles, kissing your neck sweetly. You tilt your head, granting him full access.

 

“Hm, what a shame. I got so _worked up_ sucking you off, I guess I’ll just have to take care of it myself...” you sigh in mock disappointment.

 

Yoongi makes a sound similar to a growl and nips at the soft skin of your collarbone before he can think better of it. “Not in my world, darling.”

 

You giggle as he stands with you in his arms. He lays you down on the couch and slips his hands under your shirt, tongue warm against your jaw.

 

You smile at victory.


	12. Drabble #4: An unpleasant night to an unexpected morning...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst, fluff, vmin, and jealousy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....... hello
> 
> i told you guys i would try to keep writing. i actually am almost done with another drabble but i came to a bit of a block with it so here's this angst!! and i might work on a halloween special, but if i did it would probably be late since im pretty booked in the next few weeks
> 
> hope you guys enjoy and feel free to yell at me for the angst in this one but in my defense--! i gave it a justified ending...

Yoongi knows for a fact that this situation should have gone much differently.

 

It all began when everyone decided to come back to the dorms from the club. It was only about 2am, and Seokjin had suggested taking their designated group away and let loose in a comfortable way. Party like rock stars-- in their homes.

 

Yoongi still calls it the dorms, because even though the new building is very nice and separate and they all have their own luxurious apartments, it’s still just the dorms to him. That might just be because everything is changing around them and their careers are soaring so fucking much lately that if he were to lose one of the biggest constants he’s had since their debut, it might be too much too fast.

 

Seokjin seems to have no problem with flaunting his apartment, which is why Yoongi figures he invited everyone back.

 

So, of course, their group was very pleased by the idea. They all began to pile into those damn 2019 Ford Expeditions pulled up to the back entrance.

 

The problem was, there were only two of those, and they only seat 7, not including the driver and their manager in the passenger seat. That leaves 5 seats.

 

Somehow, their manager was apparently fine with a few people sitting on a few laps. He probably just wanted to get them safely in the cars in any fashion. Several people were maybe, just a little, barely, drunk. You could say that. It was a wonder it went as smooth as it did.

 

Yoongi had already dropped his ass into a spot, followed by Taehyung and then Jimin in the back row. The middle row was filled by Sooyoung and Baro; truthfully, Yoongi only knew his stage name, but he was Jin’s friend anyway. The other car had Seokjin, Namjoon, Jungkook, Hoseok, and Kihyun. That was two people too many since they had a few security people in the car as well.

 

That’s when you peeked your head into the vehicle. Now, Yoongi had wanted to offer his lap. Of course. But it would have been better to just out and say that he’s recklessly in love with you to the other people in the car.

 

So he didn’t say anything.

 

Even as Jimin, the cheeky fucker, generously granted you a seat on him, Yoongi kept his mouth shut. But his eyes were likely going to burn through you with how hard he was staring at you two as you climbed up and gently, a little awkwardly, lowered yourself to the tops of Jimin’s thighs.

 

He watched on as Jimin grinned, ear to ear, and happily let you settle atop of him.

 

“ _Gosh_ , noona, you could have just told me you wanted to sit on my lap,” Jimin nudged, eyes squinting up into little crescents and he took glee in the situation.

 

“Jimin, leave the poor girl alone,” Sejin called from the passenger seat at the front. Though, you were hardly looking _poor_ in that moment, middle finger raised and looking at Jimin, impassive.

 

“Oh come on, Sejin. She is no angel back here,” Jimin laughed.

 

Yoongi couldn’t look away as they finally pulled onto the highway and you began to relax, intentional or not. You leaned your weight back a bit, not even blinking as Jimin’s arms draped over your thighs.

 

It’s foolish. Why is Yoongi getting worked up over this? It’s _Jimin_. And it’s _you_. Yet the way you lean into Jimin, the two of you giggling like middle-schoolers, gets him boiling. You haven’t even had much to drink, and neither has he.

 

However, a quick glance to Taehyung sitting beside him reassures him. The boy has his jaw clenched, Yoongi can see the ridge in it as the streetlights bounce off his skin. His gaze is pointedly avoiding you and Jimin all cute in the seat next to him. The irony of the situation hits him like a truck; his girlfriend and Taehyung’s – boyfriend? Best friend? With benefits? Who knows with them at this point—are putting them in the same boat.

 

So maybe he isn’t crazy. And-- goddammit, why is Jimin’s hand on your waist? Yoongi forces himself to look out the window instead, trying to think of anything else.

 

But then you bust out laughing from something that Jimin had whispered, and when Yoongi looks back, it’s a shy kind of look that’s on your face. Your cheeks have darkened a little, your hands weakly coming up in an attempt to cover your face. “Oh my _god_ , please shut the fuck up,” You breathe, all schoolgirl, and Yoongi honestly feels like he could put a hole in this window.

 

For fuck’s sake, he’s sitting right here! It’s not like he’s never witnessed flirtatious encounters between you and the other members, but this is different. You’re practically pulled into Jimin’s chest at this point, and his hands are still _fucking_ there, on your waist, and you’re still _fucking_ laughing.

 

 

The party picks right up again when they finally make it to the apartment, unsurprisingly. Jin just gets the concierge to send some food up and immediately sets to playing some music. It’s not as loud as it was at the club, which is nice, but you can still dance to it if you so choose.

 

Yoongi hadn’t even looked back when he pried himself from the SUV, too ready to get out of there and with some alcohol in his hands.

 

He flopped on Seokjin’s expensive couch not long after everyone began to filter around the room. It’s much more tolerable now, the 11 people instead of the masses. Distantly, Yoongi’s eyes swept over the rest of the room. He could hear Jungkook swearing something crude from here, then watched as Seokjin practically slapped him upside the head and scolded him like a golden retriever.

 

Then there was Namjoon and Hoseok, comfortably leaning against the wall that stretched in Yoongi’s direction. There was little conversation between them, since they both seemed kinda drunk.

 

As if he couldn’t help it, Yoongi looked back to where you were, hovering over the edge of counter and trying to find your cup. You seemed to give up after a few moments, mindlessly wondering into the living room. You caught Yoongi’s gaze, and smiled a little. Apparently you decided to come his way.

 

You were the only people in this end of the room, but you didn’t seem to care that it could cause suspicion.

 

“Hey,” you said, as if it were just another day. Clueless.

 

Yoongi didn’t say anything, only lifted his drink and savored the burn.

 

Seokjin sent Namjoon to respond to the buzzer and Namjoon returned with the food that the concierge sent up; pizza and some two-liters of soda. Hoseok set to mixing some drinks with that.

 

Then your voice came again after the long moment. “I’m gonna get some pizza, you want me to bring you a slice?”

 

Yoongi pressed his lips together in a tight line as he leaned forward, setting his cup on the coffee table. Why was he even here anymore?

 

Yoongi shook his head. “No, think I’m just gonna leave,” he said flatly.  


Your brows furrowed out of the corner of his eye, but he paid it no mind as he stood and turned around to look for his phone. “Damn, it’s barely 3am.” He gave no response. “Your schedule doesn’t start again for another two days,” you added.

 

Yoongi made a small noise of disinterest and slipped his phone in his pocket.

 

“Is something wrong?” Your voice was quieter this time, as if trying not to include the people on the other side of the room. Like they weren’t entertained enough.

 

“I don’t know, you tell me,” he mumbled, even as he strode away from you.

 

Yoongi could sense you were going to say something again, but at this point, he was in earshot of Jin and Jungkook and Kihyun and whatever it had been died quickly. He made a short statement of exit, to which they all whined and complained and asked him to stay.

 

Yoongi managed to wave them off and finally dip away from the area. He distantly heard your voice behind him but he ignored it in favor of reaching the hallway. The air was pleasantly lighter and a little cooler than in Seokjn’s apartment. It made him feel better, even if not by much.

 

“Yoongi,” you called.

 

Yoongi turned, a little confused. You were standing there, seemingly leaving the party in his trail. Briefly, upon seeing your concerned expression, Yoongi feels guilty for being the reason you left the party because he knows these are the few moments where you can really let loose without being at work. But then he remembers your sweet smile and Jimin’s teasing tone, so he doesn’t feel utterly _horrible_.

 

“What?”

 

There was a pause after his short response, like you were taken back by his tone. “What’s wrong?”

 

Yoongi sighed, feeling more than a little tired. “Just go back inside. Maybe Jimin can help you figure it out,” he sneered lightly, already beginning to walk away again.

 

Was he being a little childish? Maybe. Did his point still stand? Absolutely.

 

Suddenly, followed by thumping feet, there was a hand on his arm, ceasing his movements and turning him around. The sight of your face came into his view and he stared at you, annoyed.

 

“Yoongi, what-- Jimin,” you asked, trying to figure out his angle. He didn’t really appreciate the way you seemed like you were suddenly the one offended. As if he didn’t just watch you and Jimin practically go on a date in the back row of their ride. “Did I do something?”

 

“Oh, I don’t know, it depends,” Yoongi tilted his head, mocking casual conversation. “Do you remember me at all? Hey, I’m Yoongi, I’m friends with your boyfriend, Jimin. Nice to meet you.”

 

There wasn’t a moment where your confusion dissolved while he was speaking, not from the moment you came into the hall. Only then did you seem to catch on, your features falling into something a little softer at the realization. “This is about me sitting on his lap?” You ask that, instead of just say it, but it’s fucking obvious that’s what he’s mad about.

 

“ _Woah_ there, Sherlock, take it easy.” In the back of his mind, Yoongi knows he’s being a bit of a dick. Okay, maybe a much bigger dick than he _needs_ to be about this. It’s just, the voice that controls his jealousy is louder.

 

You cross your arms at his tone, looking at Yoongi like you’re disappointed that he’s acting like this. “First of all, I never deliberately tried to piss you off, so I feel like I don’t really deserve the shit attitude. Second, what else was I going to do? Sit on your lap? Cuz that would have been _such_ a good idea,” you said, voice dripping with sarcasm.

 

“I would have rather suffered that than watching your giddy ass all snuggled up to Jimin’s chest and laughing like he was the funniest man on Earth,” Yoongi glowered. He shifted on his back foot as you looked like you were ready to fire back with a response and stopped you in your tracks. “Save it. I’m going back to my apartment, and you can go do whatever the fuck you feel like doing. Hopping on Jimin, maybe,” he shrugged, betraying his sharp tone and even sharper words.

 

Yoongi didn’t allow himself to catch your reaction before he turned and stormed off, around the corner. You didn’t follow him.

 

When Yoongi finally made it to his apartment, through elevators and hallways, he rid himself of his stale clothes until he was only in his boxers and climbed under the thick covers of his bed.

 

It would have been a peaceful moment, which he usually savored. Especially because, with the added privacy of their new apartments, you often stayed the night if it got too late, and you would be right beside him. Not tonight, though.

 

As Yoongi’s eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room, they drifted to the other side of the bed, then nightstand, where your chap-stick sat, knocked over. Next to it was your clutch bag, the one that Yoongi suspected was the only one you owned since it was the only one you ever seemed to use if you were ever in something fancy enough that needed accessories. Those occasions come more frequently these days, it seems.

 

Something unsettling wormed it’s way into Yoongi’s gut as he began to realize how much of your stuff is actually here, and how often you stay. Flashes of more than one toothbrush sitting in the glass cup next to his sink, your shaving cream sat on the shelf of his walk-in shower, a few of your clothes messily dropped into a drawer that has miscellaneous other things of Yoongi’s in it, all flood his mind. Sure, when you look at the big picture, maybe it doesn’t seem like such a huge deal, especially given that you’re coming up on a year of a steady relationship. But it just makes it so much more obvious that you’re not there in that moment.

 

Yoongi doesn’t fall asleep for a long time.

 

* * *

 

When Yoongi wakes up, it’s to a noisy ringtone and the early morning sun bouncing off his white walls. He audibly groans, barely conscious, and waits for the ringing to stop. It does, eventually, and there’s a few beats of peace where Yoongi almost falls back asleep.

 

Then his phone starts ringing again.

 

Accepting the literal wake-up call, Yoongi flops forward and drags himself to the end of his bed until his torso is sliding off the edge of it. His palms hit the floor and grasp around his pile of clothes for his jeans.

 

He pulls the denim out of the mess, still half-hanging off his bed, and manages to pry his loud phone from the back pocket.

 

Yoongi briefly registers Jungkook’s caller ID before sloppily accepting the call and grunting, “What?”

 

His voice is so dry and gravelly that it surprises him at first, so he clears his throat while Jungkook’s voice crackles into his ear. “Morning sunshine. Namjoon-hyung wanted me to call you and tell you to come up here. Jin-hyung is making breakfast.”

 

Yoongi grunts a dismissal. “Not hungry.”

 

He’s about to hang up, too, but Jungkook speaks up again. “Oh come on. As if you don’t need an aspirin right now. Plus, Jin-hyung would be offended if you didn’t indulge him.”

 

The boy leaves no room for protest and happily chirps a goodbye, proceeding to hang up on Yoongi.

 

He can’t argue any of Jungkook’s points, and it’s the thought of some sweet ibuprofen and a coffee that makes him slip on some sweats and a hoodie and make the trek to Jin’s apartment.

 

* * *

 

The first thing that Yoongi notices when he gets inside is how oddly clean the place is after the activities that went on the night (literally only five hours ago) before. He remembers hearing the gentle thrum of the music at one point when he was laying awake; apparently the need for music so loud that nobody can think flared up for about 10 minutes, and then it went as quickly as it came.

 

The second thing he notices is that everyone from the night before is lounging quietly in the dining room, except for you, while Seokjin tends to the kitchen. Everyone looks like Yoongi expected them to-- like shit. Wet towels that have been wrung out too many times and left to sit a crumpled mess.

 

“Hyung,” Yoongi hears, eyes catching Taehyung gesturing to the bottle of aspirin on the bar behind him. Taehyung looks especially crummy, but somehow, he looks much more content than he was in the back of the Ford Expedition last night. Jimin sits next to him, but his hair is wet from a shower, most likely, and his head is tilted down so Yoongi can’t see his face.

 

Yoongi finds himself with two of the pills in his hand before he realizes, a bottle of water from the shelf already in his grip. He swallows them down with a gulp of it.

 

Of them all, Baro—or whatever the fuck his actual name is—looks the most composed. Yoongi tinkers with the memory of hearing about the kind of secret parties that guy goes to, usually involving hard drugs and private security. Nobody was doing lines or getting dances from paid party guests at theirs. Yoongi’s glad that much hasn’t changed about his friends at least, because even if Yoongi doesn’t judge the guy for that lifestyle, it’s not one he likes to tolerate often. It’s hard enough juggling his career.

 

“Yoongi-ah, you want some noodles or something,” Seokjin asks from a distance.

 

“I’m alright. Just came for the medicine and the coffee,” he murmurs, leaving out the rather forceful persuasion from the youngest of the group.

 

“In that case, I need you to go get one of our troopers up and out of my room. I won’t cook forever.”

 

Yoongi wants to protest, because he doesn’t understand why they can’t just get themselves up like everyone else. But he is here, in Jin’s apartment, will be soon making himself a cup of coffee, so he relents.

 

In a hollow way, Yoongi realizes that the guest must be you as he approaches the purple heart wood door. Mind blank, he turns the nob and pushes it open.

 

Meanwhile, you're slowly and drowsily trying to blink your heavy lids open on the floor. It takes you several moments to even piece together where you are. Scraps of last night flood back to you and you discern that you’re in Jin’s room, and it’s Saturday, and there was a party, and there was Yoongi.

 

There is Yoongi.

 

He realizes that you had already begun to stir when he opened the door because of the way you seem to startle slightly at his appearance.

 

Yoongi takes the sight of you in, hair askew and any traces of possible makeup faded by now. There were grainy streaks of black, tear trails of ink from your lashes that seemed to have stained your cheeks. Yoongi’s heart sinks.

 

But all he can say is, “Jin’s making some breakfast. He wanted me to get you up.”

 

Admittedly, it’s pretty cold of him. And he does feel a little bad about his slightly tipsy overreaction. But just because he’s not excusing himself doesn’t mean he’s going to excuse you. The thought of you and Jimin pressed to each other is still too fresh in his mind.

 

You’re clearly not aware of the image you present now. You consider Yoongi, sight landing on him for a long moment before you bring it back to the floor and nod. “Okay.”

 

And then you’re standing up from your messy pillow-bed on the floor and walking towards him, past him, towards the door. Jimin appears, abruptly, in passing. Or, rather, you passed him in the frame of the door.

 

Yoongi doesn’t feel like making small talk with Jimin right now, so he begins to follow behind you, but Jimin steps to the side and looks up at him now. “Wait,” He says, quietly, like it’s a secret. Yoongi’s able to tell that the boy probably got less sleep than himself. He wishes that made him feel good for what happened but it doesn’t. “I need to talk to you.”

 

Yoongi’s stomach flips uncomfortably. He doesn’t really want to have a conversation right now, especially with Jimin, and especially about what Yoongi thinks it’s about.

 

Still, Jimin seems earnest and what is Yoongi gonna do, refuse?

 

So he complies and watches the younger boy click the door shut behind him, just the two of them in the eldest’s bedroom. Oh yeah, it’s weird.

 

“Last night… I wanna apologize.” It’s less weird now that Jimin’s talking, that he’s apologizing. Logically, he has nothing to say sorry for. But it’s obvious. “I wasn’t--” Jimin cuts himself off, as if he’s having a hard time putting his words together in the right way. “I was just joking around, with noona. Actually, it’s really stupid, but I was mostly trying to mess with Taehyung. I didn’t realize...”

 

Jimin trails off and Yoongi feels the blood rise in his cheeks. Distantly, terrifyingly, he realizes this means that Jimin knows but he doesn’t let himself dwell on it. It’s the same way he thinks Jimin must feel talking about whatever the relationship he has with Taehyung. It’s sort of common knowledge in the group; Jimin and Taehyung, Taehyung and Jimin. Nobody ever talks about it out in the open, though. Some things are better left that way, for the sake of the group. The stability of it.

 

Yoongi sighs. “Jimin-ah, you don’t have to apologize, but I appreciate it. It’s not you I’m frustrated with.”

 

“But that’s--” Jimin begins, too loud, too fast. Yoongi raises a brow at him and he clears his throat and tries again with pink cheeks. “That’s the thing, though. ___ was laughing because I was being, um… kind of explicit with details about why I was trying to make Taehyung jealous. And I teased her about you getting jealous, and she got all embarrassed-- I didn’t know you guys were actually,” Jimin trails off, clearly not wanting to put an incorrect label on your relationship.

 

There’s a very awkward silence that settles. Yoongi doesn’t really know what to think, what to say to that. Then Jimin’s speaking again, with a tone that suggests he’s pleading for something from Yoongi but it’s not said clearly what that is. “Hyung, I really do feel horrible about it. She came back after you left and she had too much to drink and got upset; I wasn’t trying to do any of _that_.”

 

(In the back of his mind, Yoongi figures that was when you spilled the beans about the fight, about you and Yoongi in general. He fights to keep that thought in the _back_ for now, the image of you presumably drunk and crying from what Yoongi had said and done was too much to think about at that moment.)

 

Yoongi can see the boy’s eyes get a little wetter and, all at once, he feels like a huge asshole. He’d completely overreacted, and instead of mentioning it like a grown ass adult, he picked a fight with you. And here was Jimin, regretful and guilty, when he hadn’t even known that you two were something real to begin with.

 

Even though he’s still digesting the information, Yoongi offers a quick nudge to Jimin’s shoulder. “Yah, you better not start crying or anything,” he scolds, playfully of course.

 

It looks like it does the trick, lightening Jimin’s expression up a little. He blinks back the tears and nods at nothing in particular.

 

There’s a bit of silence and then Yoongi decided he needs to get things moving so he can talk to you. “C’mon, I still need my coffee.” He strode up next to Jimin where the door was. “And, Jimin, let it go. Nobody is sticking you to my relationship problems but you,” he adds. The term “relationship” slips his mind and he fails to recognize it. He’d rather keep things as vague as possible.

 

Jimin nods again, this time in more of a solid reply and Yoongi takes that as a cue to open the door.

 

When the dining room is in their view again, not much has changed. Sooyoung and Kihyun are gone, and you’ve taken the seat next to Namjoon. It looks like you washed your face clean of mascara tears and tamed your hair a bit. You look up as soon as they enter the room, gaze flickering from Jimin to Yoongi. The two of you stared at each other for a moment before you looked back down to your scrambled eggs.

 

Something stilled within Yoongi. All the secrecy, the struggle, the absolute stress of everything-- it all stopped. There was a voice screaming inside of him for a now or never, a do or die. A quick glance to Baro, out on the balcony with a phone pressed to his ear, was the last sign he needed.

 

“___ and I are together, and we have been for almost a year. And I love her, very much.”

 

Everyone froze.

 

The way your features brightened in utter shock was enough to make the beginnings of a smile crawl onto his face. You looked up, eyes wide like the moon, cheeks pink, jaw slightly dropped as you looked around at the faces of all the other members.

 

Then Yoongi spoke again, to you directly, looking you in the eyes. “I’m sorry. I was a dick last night.”

 

It’s all he says, because there’s not much more to say. No excuses, no bullshit, just that he’s sorry and it’s _time_ for this to be said. You keep looking at him, like it hasn’t yet sunk in what he’s just done.

 

“You’re kidding,” Hoseok breathes, all bewildered. “A _year_?! Why didn’t you tell us?”

 

Now Yoongi feels a little sheepish, since he knows how much the other members love to be involved in things that have nothing to do with them. “It was just easier. Besides, it’s not like _nobody_ knew.”

 

“Yeah, I knew,” Namjoon suddenly says, like it’s an accomplishment.

 

Seokjin pipes from the kitchen, “Me too.”

 

Then Jimin, “Me and Taehyung found out last night.”

 

The look on Hobi’s face was nothing short of unbelieving. “Wait, so, am I the only one who just found out?!”

 

There was an absurd silence before Yoongi cocked his head to the side. “Actually, Jungkook didn’t--”

 

“Yes, I did.”

 

Both you and Yoongi look at Jungkook now, confused. When…?

 

The youngest seems to take the silent question and answers it awkwardly, “Oh come on, it’s so obvious...” A skeptical silence followed. He relented. “…and I may or may not have been at the dorms when you guys _thought_ you had privacy.”

 

You look like you’re hanging by a thread at this point. How Jungkook was ever able to act normally around you again is a wonder. “Oh my god,” you muttered, palm pressed to your forehead in embarrassment.

 

Yoongi couldn’t help but snicker at the implication of Jungkook’s words, slinking towards you. To his credit, Jungkook didn’t look much less humiliated by that fact than you did.

 

Slipping into the seat next to you, Yoongi gently touched your shoulder in a request to get your attention. You peeked over at him then, curious and a little shy from all the exposure so early.

 

He spoke hopefully, as if there was nobody else in the room, “Can you forgive me for being an asshole?”

 

Your features would have remained the same if it weren’t for the way you bit your lip and fought a smile that gave you away. “...Perhaps, I can be persuaded.”

 

Yoongi grinned at that, relieved and fond. Jungkook can be heard gagging. “I preferred when it was a secret,” he says, face scrunched in distaste.

 

Yoongi suddenly has the urge to do something that he’s wanted to do since the beginning of your relationship. What’s stopping him? “I don’t, because now I can do this,” he says, before he takes your face in his hands and pulls you in. Your hands fall away, awkwardly hovering in shock when Yoongi kisses you, soft and long.

 

Sure, in the future, he probably won’t put his friends in the audience of such a thing, but it feels a little too good to pass up right now.

 

There’s a moment of utter silence, and then, just as Yoongi begins to pull away, he hears Jungkook and Hoseok loudly protesting and Jimin’s awe’s of approval. You look a little dazed when the two of you part.

 

Briefly, Yoongi watches you glance around the room and then your gaze is back on him, clearly surprised at all the big things he’s done in this short span of time. He strokes your cheek with his thumb twice, smiling a little when he finally does retract himself from you entirely.

 

If you weren’t embarrassed before then you are now, the sound of the member’s hooting loud in the big room.

 

Several questions begin coming to the two of you: when exactly, how exactly, etc. Though it’s a lot to take on, having all the members openly know about your relationship, Yoongi could not be more glad that he did this. And you’re just struck by his boldness and grand gestures that you don’t really mind the prying from everyone.

 

By the time everyone’s finished eating, the conversation has long faded into more general topics and the other members are starting to find ways to spend their few days off. The weather has turned rather gloomy since there was expected to be a storm later in the day, so it was safe to say that everyone was just staying at home.

 

Yoongi’s just finished slipping the last plate into the cabinet when he finds you a few steps beside him, putting a lid on some of Seokjin’s noodles. He shuffles behind you and gently puts his hands on your waist, lips ghosting your ear as he quietly mumbles, “Wanna come back to mine?”

 

You gasp a little at his sudden, intimate contact. “Yoongi,” you squeak, worriedly glancing to the side for any eyes.

 

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. Nobody’s looking,” he says, barely resisting kissing the skin of your neck. “Besides,” he continues. “I can do this now, remember?”

 

You shoot him a glare that means he can not, reasonably of course. As much as you like Yoongi’s touch and affection, you’d rather not express that in front of people whom you have to look in the eyes every day.

 

Yoongi only laughs, though, low and a little rough. He feels you melt at the sound of it. He doesn’t have to work very hard to convince you to follow him, hands latched together, back to his apartment.

 

He intends to remind you that as sweet as Jimin is, he can not make you feel like Yoongi can.


	13. Drabble #5: Taehyung cannot be trusted...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fluff, secrets, taehyung being a drama queen, and yoongi gets a boost of ego that he didn't need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so um, happy Halloween btw! i just wanted to ask you guys, it'll be a few days late of course, but if you had any Halloween special ideas, i'd love to hear them! specifically, what kind of costume reader should wear if she were to attend a Halloween party with the other members and a few friends.. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 
> 
> hope you guys enjoy! this was sort of inspired by that episode of friends with chandler and monica. sorry it's a little short n stuff

 

It started with a condom.

 

One night, the dorms were empty, and Yoongi was completely out of protection. You were too, since Yoongi usually stayed stocked. You remembered being nosy and taking a peek at the shopping list that you were bringing to Sejin for the members, and you happened to see that Taehyung had scribbled down that he needed condoms.

 

So, naturally, you sneaked into his room and stole one when you were suddenly in need.

 

Little did you know, Taehyung kept fucking tabs on his condoms. Or maybe you accidentally left the wrapper somewhere and he found it, who knows.

 

All that matters is now, you’re helping with strike backstage after a show in Busan, and Taehyung is very curious.

 

“I’m serious, I think someone is having sex with someone and I am very hurt that _I_ was not included in the secret,” he whines.

 

You try to ignore him, focusing on tying up this mess of cords and wires in front of you in an organized fashion. You’ve got a lot to do, and you’ll be here hours after the members get back to Seoul and are snuggled up in their beds, showered off and with full bellies. So you’re hoping Taehyung will just drop it, assume you’re too busy.

 

Clearly, that’s just wishful thinking.

 

“Noona, I have drama here! Help me out, won’t you?” Taehyung is leaning forward now, trying to catch your attention from where you sit on the floor, fingers active. Of course he can’t help you while ranting about this. 

 

“Taehyung-ah, I don’t know what to tell you. It’s not like _I_ have answers,” you sigh, wishing a hole would appear and swallow you right there. You’ve gotten good at hiding your relationship with Yoongi. It’s easier now. You don’t get so nervous and flustered, not after all the experience you’ve had, all the on-the-spot explanations that you’ve had to deliver to the other members for some weird thing they heard or saw or found.

 

Suddenly, as if sent by the gods, Yoongi appears from the main hallway. His mic wires are clutched in one hand while the other runs through his sweaty hair. “Hey, ___, Hyunsoo needs you for a second.”

 

Under your breath, you let out a sigh of relief and drop the cords in your hands like they were burning you. You at least have the decency to toss an apologetic look to a distraught Taehyung before you follow Yoongi out of the greenroom.

 

He leads you to the tech closet, you realize it once he’s gotten you inside and locked the door behind him. You raise a brow at him curiously, but he just grins, reaching forward for you. He kisses you, sweet and soft. It steals your breath.

 

By the time he pulls away, you’re a little smitten. “What was that for?”

 

He pouts, which, goddammit, you hate when he does that because it makes you want to double over from a heart attack. “I’m probably not going to see you until tomorrow.”

 

That’s all Yoongi has to say for you to understand. Time to yourselves has been difficult lately, but that’s no shock. The comeback is in full startup mode. And you know how Yoongi gets after a concert, all sleepy and a little clingy. You don’t mind it, you think it’s cute. But since the concert was so late and you offered to help with strike, it’s obvious that you won’t have your post-concert ritual tonight: a calm shower together, Tazza on in the background, cuddles, and sleeping harder than you can believe. He’ll have to go back to the dorms without you.

 

You purse your lips at him, eyebrows turning down to a frown. Your hand presses the wet hair from his forehead as you lean in to give him another kiss.

 

Though this one was meant to be short and simple, Yoongi suddenly has other plans. He presses against you firmly, hands sliding down your back and giving the flesh of your ass a thick squeeze. He can't resist.

 

“Yoongi,” You hum into his mouth. You finally manage to pull away from him enough to speak properly. “I have work to do. You’re sweaty. And your bus is leaving in like, half an hour.”

 

With a sigh of defeat, he relents. He gives your ass one more grasp for the road and detaches himself from you.

 

A thought comes to you. “Oh, and Taehyung apparently knows I stole that condom from him. He won’t leave me alone about it. He keeps asking me if I know who’s fucking.”

 

Yoongi suddenly looks serious. “I know. He’s already asked Jin, who said it wasn’t his. And me, of course, I said I had no idea. But Namjoon and Jungkook are quite obviously boning, so they know it wasn’t them, and I suspect Taehyung got the condoms for him and Jimin,” he says, hands on his hips as he thinks. “you’ve gotta tell him something, otherwise everyone is going to know it was us.”

 

Your stomach bubbles with nervousness. You know he’s not kidding with the tone of his voice. He’s right, anyways. If Taehyung were to ask Hoseok, who would obviously not know a thing, then he’d figure out someone was lying. You nod, accepting your fate. “Alright. I’ll come up with something.”

 

And you do.

 

Conveniently, Taehyung is still hanging around when you come back into the hall. He’s scrolling on his phone and riding out the clock until the other members are ready to leave when you pull him aside.

 

You tell him that you were the one who took the condom when you were looking for your notebook, as embarrassing as it is. But you can’t lie about it being someone else and have it traced back to you making that up, so you suffer the humiliation.

 

You just explain that you’ve been seeing someone lately, which Taehyung is very curious and excited about, and you just happened to be out of condoms so you sneaked one away. You didn’t think he’d notice.

 

At least you’re not _lying_. You’re just not telling the whole truth.

 

Well, that is until he asks about who it is and if he can meet them. Then you tell him that he’s being silly, and that it’s nobody important, and the guy is too busy. Would-be-true if you hadn’t said it was nobody important.

 

To which Taehyung says he deserves to meet the guy who used his condom.

 

Somehow, you manage to brush him off and tell him he needs to get ready before the bus leaves without him.

 

And that’s that. Until it isn’t.

 

It’s almost a full week before Taehyung brings it up again. You’re working on something with Hyowon at the studio and Taehyung is sitting in. He’s been interested in music production a lot more these past few years, rather than the music itself.

 

You three eat lunch in the room together, chatting it up and spending quality time together, even though you’re at work. After Hyowon finishes his noodles, he excuses himself for a cigarette.

 

And Taehyung seizes the opportunity.

 

“So, this guy you’ve been seeing,” He begins. Inwardly, you groan, try to play it cool outwardly. “what’s he like?”

 

You consider his question for a moment. This could actually work out for you. You could talk about your relationship with someone, with _Taehyung_ , and he doesn’t have to know it’s Yoongi.

 

You refuse to go into detail about it with Namjoon, because it still terrifies you that he might one day decide that the relationship is too big of a risk and fire you. And definitely not Seokjin, because as much as you adore the man, he is like a father. You can talk about the platonic stuff, but when he suddenly starts asking questions about more… intimate things, you can’t help but squeal at him and tell him to shut up. You love him, but you can’t have that conversation with him.

 

Taehyung on the other hand…

 

Taehyung could work.

 

* * *

 

It’s only days later when you realize you made a mistake. Having Taehyung, or all of the other members, find out about about you and Yoongi would probably be better than having to face this.

 

If you were being honest, maybe you went just a _little_ overboard with confiding in Taehyung. It wasn’t your fault! It’s hard being in such a serious relationship and having nobody to talk to about it. You can’t even talk to your friends outside of work because they’d know you were lying about _who_ it was.

 

So you talked. And you gushed. Taehyung was the best listener, always asking you good questions and letting you ramble, getting all excited and happy for you. Naturally, it was comfortable talking to him about this.

 

Therefore, you didn’t think twice about telling him that this mystery guy was the best sex you’d ever had.

 

Boy, were you _dumb_.

 

Apparently, things like that are things that men talk about. Or, maybe just things that Tae talks about. And Taehyung, the absolute fucker, shared your secret with none other than Yoongi himself. You wouldn’t be surprised if he told Jimin, too.

 

“She even said he was the best sex she’s ever had!” Taehyung was practically content for life, blessed with some information, some secret to share. And Yoongi, Yoongi was fucking _basking_. He could not _wait_ to tease you about the stuff Taehyung told him.

 

But oh, wait. What did he just say? “Really?” Yoongi turned to look him in the eyes now. “She said that?”

 

Taehyung nodded, flipping his rice over and over again with his chopsticks. “Yeah. She said he’s some accountant for this firm and he has to travel for clients a lot but,” Taehyung shrugged before his tone dipped notably, scandalous as he wiggled his brows at Yoongi. “she said she has some rather _colorful_ dreams when he’s away.”

 

Yoongi choked.

 

Pounding a fist, hard, into his chest as if that would help clear his lungs of his own saliva, he tried not to actually stroke out. Had you really said that? Were you being serious? Oh god, Yoongi does not need to think about the image of that right now, not when Taehyung is cackling over the sound of his fit.

 

(Yoongi distantly wonders what Taehyung’s angle is. He knows how close you and Yoongi are. Something gives him the idea that the younger boy was trying to illicit some reaction that would give away a hint of jealousy. They’ve all have been trying it for years.)

 

A few gulps of air later, Yoongi managed to get himself together. “S-Sorry,” he croaked, voice weak.

 

“S’alright, hyung,” he said, grinning at the man. “Should I avoid these topics with you? I didn’t know you’d get so flustered. Then again, I didn’t know ___ was this… impudent.”

 

This little shit…

 

Taehyung’s teasing, poking at him, and dammit if Yoongi isn’t his hyung! He wonders how the boy can be so casual when discussing _this_ , with his _elder_ , for fuck’s sake.

 

“Shut up,” he said brilliantly.

 

Taehyung laughed some more, and Yoongi tried to go back to his phone, to focus on the twitter layout in front of him. All he could manage to think about is your supposed wet dreams, if you were telling Taehyung the truth. He hopes, selfishly.

 

It had barely been 10 minutes when Yoongi decided he needed to excuse himself immediately, claiming that his phone was dying and his charger was in his studio. He pretends not to hear Taehyung suggesting behind him that he just uses Jungkook’s.

 

Taehyung’s words, _the best she’s ever had, colorful dreams when he’s away_ , ring in his mind over and over again as he dials your number.

 

You pick up on the tail end of the third ring. “Hey.”

 

Yoongi’s throat suddenly feels dry. “You better not be busy because I need you at my studio as soon as possible.” Well, no playing games, he supposes. He doesn’t know what is he needs, except that it starts with you.

 

“Um, everything okay?”

 

“I don’t know? I need to talk to you about something.”

 

There’s silence on your end for a few beats, then you’re saying, “I can be over there in like, 20 minutes? I gotta get dressed,” You laugh a little bit, “I just put on my pajamas--”

 

“Don’t bother,” he cuts you off. Suddenly struck with a torturous image of what Taehyung had said, he finds himself spontaneously in need. “I’m more concerned with what’s under right now, sweetheart.”

 

That has apparently left you at a loss for words for a few moments. When you finally reply, it’s with a breathy, “Okay. I’ll be there in 15.” and an abrupt hang-up.

 


	14. Drabble #6: You take a shower just to end up getting dirty again...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut, comedy if you squint really really hard, poor jin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> man, i'm sorry this is so short guys. i'm really about to fight my classes rn
> 
> i've also been super super invested writing this yoongi/reader (who is surprised there) friend's sister au thing and i'm really proud of it so far. i won't be posting any new works without updating this fic tho, so by next chapter of this story it most likely will be out and finished and you will be able to read it if you want
> 
> otherwise, i know this is like scraps and i'm sorry if you guys are hungry, i promise i'm gonna feed u soon. love u. xx

Yoongi found himself in sudden lust when you came out of the shower.

 

The group is on a little recreational trip in Taebaek before they have to begin filming to help everyone loosen up. Yoongi was thrilled when he discovered that you were allowed to come, and you had only sneaked into his room about an hour ago.

 

And then, when you came out of the shower with nothing but your underwear and bra on, Yoongi realized he was _craving_.

 

“Fuck, Y-Yoongi, please,” you pant, head dropping to rest on the duvet. He’s currently buried inside of you from behind, hands gripping at your waist.

 

“You want me to move?” To be fair, he had started this, but he can’t resist pulling out your need for him. A strained moan is what he gets in response, your hips twitching like you want to move them yourself, but you know better. “How bad?”

 

You give an exasperated sigh, jerking your head up. “Bad, Yoongi. So bad-- just _fuck_ me, please, I need—need--”

 

He gives it to you, cutting you off with the sharp thrust of his hips against yours. You groan without even breathing in first, leaning back against him with your back arched to better absorb his thrusts as they become relentless.

 

Yoongi goes to grip at your ass, truly unable to hold himself back. He gives a gentle tap to it without thinking, and he thinks that must be the first time he’s done it in all the time that the two of you have been together because it has you mewling and pushing back against him.

 

He’s smirking, breathless, when he says, “You like that?”

 

Almost shyly, you give a nod of your head with blushing cheeks. Yoongi chuckles, a little delirious, and does it again, harder—smacks the flesh of your ass. Your fingers clench the sheets and you clench around him lewdly. “Fucking hell babe,” he swears, awestruck. If he knew you were this into it before, he would have definitely done it sooner.

 

You’re moaning loud now, some of the loudest moans he’s ever gotten out of you, so he doesn’t really try to get his filthy words in. Your moans speak for themselves. And the clap of his skin hitting yours is drawing his interest, the way that your ass ripples with the sheer force of his jiggling hips. He’s grunting with exertion, you a dream wrapped around him.

 

Suddenly there’s fierce pounding on the hotel room’s door, and both of you freeze so quickly that you might not be breathing if it weren’t for the way your blood is pumping from your activities. Then there’s an annoyed, shrill voice that yells, “Would the two of you, please for the love of GOD quiet the FUCK DOWN!?”

 

It’s Seokjin, unmistakably. You shoot Yoongi a look that is nothing less of horrified before burying your face in the covers with a whine that is more embarrassment and less arousal this time around. Poor Seokjin, stuck with this corner of the floor next to their room. “Sorry, hyung. We’ll keep it down,” he calls back, trying his best not to burst into laughter.

 

There’s no response, so maybe Seokjin had already left when he said it but it still stands.

 

“Oh, my _god_ ,” you choke, voice muffled by the bedding.

 

Yoongi’s shoulders shake with silent giggles as he smooths his hands over your bare skin in comfort. “Babe, it’s alright,” he smiles.

 

You’re about to strongly protest, tell him it is _not_ , and that you will be virtually unable to ever look Seokjin in the eye again, but it all dies in your throat when Yoongi starts rolling his hips again. It’s slow and deep, fucking the breath out of your lungs.

 

“Let’s try this again, hm?”

**Author's Note:**

> hi it's not over!
> 
> please don't forget to leave kudos if you are liking this so far
> 
> also im a whore for comments so hmu or smth...


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